It's so out there

[againstmyself]

sitting here all alone, both on the inside and to the world around me. I am so scared to lose the one person i love more then i ever thought possible. He;s scared to hurt me, he doesn't want to ever see me hurt, especially by his hand. I cring at what has happened. He's scared and depressed. He doesn't know his own strength, like most guys. I'm more fragile then a lot of guys but i am not a porcelain doll. He doesn't even want to touch me, kiss me, or hug me. I know that when i have to leave for university, i won't have him near, but i'm not ready for it right now. I love him so much and I fear that this will tear us apart. I want him to know that yes he did hurt me, but i was an accident. I want to help him be more gentle, but he doesn't want my help, like he needs to figure this out on his own. I don't know if thats the best thing, he helps other people, now i want to help him.

I know things will never go back to the way they were. All i want is for both of us to grow from this and continue what we have.