Hug therapy
Eh, got a good night's sleep, slept till noon after waking a couple times. It was quality sleep. Tues. night I had the worst dream I've ever had, and it was more the emotional content than the story of it. I think it's because those are emotions I've buried really deep because I really could not deal with them before, and I am strong enough to do it now. Whew, glad tha's over.
I went to the Wed. morning Al-Anon meeting yesterday, and bummed a loan for lunch from one of the ladies I've known a few years. This meeting starts at 9:30 a.m., and then they either go as one group to a local restaurant, or split up and go to wherever they go. No specific restaurant, just wherever they feel like. We went to Larosa's, and I had a half a steak hoagy with pizza sauce, with a side of fresh apple slices--they were in a plastic bag, kept from browning with ascorbic acid and calcium, and something else, I can't remember what. I just felt like the original side, an iceberg lettuce based garden salad with probably fatty dressing wasn't going to do it for me.
It was after the mostly sleepless night with the nasty nightmare, and for the 3rd or 4th time, I decided to tell my mom I needed a hug. So I got one from her, she seemed to like it. Who knew that would be therapeutic, after all my years of resenting her. I felt so much better, it's weird how that works, the hug. I think that because of my dad doing things like picking me up and throwing me when I was an infant, the usual mother-child bonding was quite interrupted, and plenty of other nasty abuse wedged itself in the way.
Good thing for mulitiple personalities, they're like a network of friends helping on the inside--after they are introduced to Christ, iterestingly. That is one main focus of the couseling I'm getting. It works, and I would never, ever have thought that that would be the solution I learned from my upbringing that you're on you're own, and everyting is about YOU doing it all, if you can't you're defective. I only once remember getting a hug, and that was from my dad. I rejected it, pried myself away because I happened to have something in my hand that was no big deal, but he might well have screamed at me. I never got another hug from anyone but my grandparents for years. How awful.
According to Melody Beatty, the author of a lot of pro-12 Step program books, there is a lot of research that shows that hugs produce seratonin, which is very good for you if you are depressed or just not doing well. Seems like she's right about that. I do keep thinking of calling my dad lately, I am kind of homesick for him, he has some good qualities any way. But it's taking me a while, which might be a good thing.
I went to the Wed. morning Al-Anon meeting yesterday, and bummed a loan for lunch from one of the ladies I've known a few years. This meeting starts at 9:30 a.m., and then they either go as one group to a local restaurant, or split up and go to wherever they go. No specific restaurant, just wherever they feel like. We went to Larosa's, and I had a half a steak hoagy with pizza sauce, with a side of fresh apple slices--they were in a plastic bag, kept from browning with ascorbic acid and calcium, and something else, I can't remember what. I just felt like the original side, an iceberg lettuce based garden salad with probably fatty dressing wasn't going to do it for me.
It was after the mostly sleepless night with the nasty nightmare, and for the 3rd or 4th time, I decided to tell my mom I needed a hug. So I got one from her, she seemed to like it. Who knew that would be therapeutic, after all my years of resenting her. I felt so much better, it's weird how that works, the hug. I think that because of my dad doing things like picking me up and throwing me when I was an infant, the usual mother-child bonding was quite interrupted, and plenty of other nasty abuse wedged itself in the way.
Good thing for mulitiple personalities, they're like a network of friends helping on the inside--after they are introduced to Christ, iterestingly. That is one main focus of the couseling I'm getting. It works, and I would never, ever have thought that that would be the solution I learned from my upbringing that you're on you're own, and everyting is about YOU doing it all, if you can't you're defective. I only once remember getting a hug, and that was from my dad. I rejected it, pried myself away because I happened to have something in my hand that was no big deal, but he might well have screamed at me. I never got another hug from anyone but my grandparents for years. How awful.
According to Melody Beatty, the author of a lot of pro-12 Step program books, there is a lot of research that shows that hugs produce seratonin, which is very good for you if you are depressed or just not doing well. Seems like she's right about that. I do keep thinking of calling my dad lately, I am kind of homesick for him, he has some good qualities any way. But it's taking me a while, which might be a good thing.