i filled my head with your voice..... now i'm drowning
what a week......
on monday, when i hung up the phone with merritt, i sat there on my couch and i immediatly felt depression......
depression that she wasn't there, next to me and i wanted her to be so badly...... i couldnt stop thinking about her and wishing she was with me until i fell asleep 4 hours later.....
i layed there on my bed, just wishing that i could feel her next to me......
every day since then, i cant focus on anything except her.......
i think of her in the back of my mind constantly throughout the day, every day, but now shes always in the front of my mind......
every night since then, i've fallen asleep crying, wishing, pretending, begging that she could be sleeping in my arms
every day since then, i daydream about it nonstop......
on wednesday when i saw her, i didn't wanna leave
on friday, i wanted her to be with me when i got home
on saturday, i wanted her to just get out of the car with me, and just walk down to my room with me......
and lately i've been gettting paranoid that she's gonna leave me.... i just feel like i act like a total dumbass and that shes embarassed of me sometimes......
she always tells me she's never gonna leave me, and i believe her.......
but sometimes i just get so scared that one day i'll hear her say those words.......
and every night i've fallen asleep since october 8th, i just wish and beg that she could be right beside me.......
i know one day she will be, but i just can't wait until that day.....
i'm in love with her so much, and every second i'm not with merritt, i think about what i'd be doing if i was......
.....that thought makes me feel a little less sad inside..... then i dry my eyes and tell myself that theres no reason to be sad, because shes in my heart no matter where i go, and i'll always be with her.......
when i tell myself those words, i know that i'm not lying...... i know shes going to be with me for the rest of my life..... and that always brings a smile to my face.....
i love you merritt,
mike
on monday, when i hung up the phone with merritt, i sat there on my couch and i immediatly felt depression......
depression that she wasn't there, next to me and i wanted her to be so badly...... i couldnt stop thinking about her and wishing she was with me until i fell asleep 4 hours later.....
i layed there on my bed, just wishing that i could feel her next to me......
every day since then, i cant focus on anything except her.......
i think of her in the back of my mind constantly throughout the day, every day, but now shes always in the front of my mind......
every night since then, i've fallen asleep crying, wishing, pretending, begging that she could be sleeping in my arms
every day since then, i daydream about it nonstop......
on wednesday when i saw her, i didn't wanna leave
on friday, i wanted her to be with me when i got home
on saturday, i wanted her to just get out of the car with me, and just walk down to my room with me......
and lately i've been gettting paranoid that she's gonna leave me.... i just feel like i act like a total dumbass and that shes embarassed of me sometimes......
she always tells me she's never gonna leave me, and i believe her.......
but sometimes i just get so scared that one day i'll hear her say those words.......
and every night i've fallen asleep since october 8th, i just wish and beg that she could be right beside me.......
i know one day she will be, but i just can't wait until that day.....
i'm in love with her so much, and every second i'm not with merritt, i think about what i'd be doing if i was......
.....that thought makes me feel a little less sad inside..... then i dry my eyes and tell myself that theres no reason to be sad, because shes in my heart no matter where i go, and i'll always be with her.......
when i tell myself those words, i know that i'm not lying...... i know shes going to be with me for the rest of my life..... and that always brings a smile to my face.....
i love you merritt,
mike