hello, old friend.
It was on a total whim that I decided to revisit my livejournal. As I try to think back to whatever the hell my thought process was ~30 mins ago, I can't deduce what brought on this completely spontaneous impulse to check out a vital component of my adolescence! And that's precisely what it was, I'm now realizing...I can't imagine what middle school and the early high school years would have been like without my LJ and without the fantastic, contrary blogging of carolyn, christina, joan, nicole, rebecca, jason, heather, and other great friends. I suppose it sounds a little narcissistic to say this, but reading just a few of my old entries reminds me of what a headstrong person I was then. Is that even a good thing, though? Perhaps my LJ was the outlet for whatever shreds of confidence I possessed in those days. It's not a mystery that I was a nerdy bookworm who constantly watched classic movies and wrote about random things, primarily her varying degrees of productivity (oh, man...). So what's changed?
Short answer:
nothing. I am still a nerdy bookworm who watches classic movies.
Slightly more optimistic, detailed answer:
I can't get too ahead of myself. I'm still that young idealist who believes that in happy endings and in dreams being fulfilled with the maximum possible effort. But...my priorities and the way I make my aspirations a reality has changed. My mother, my father always emphasized the importance of hard work and practical effort. But what if I can afford some luxuries somewhere in there? What if I realized that...in the prime of my teen years, I missed all the little things that I thought growing up in America would mean? I'm not referring to the great education, freedoms, high standard of living (but thanks, government). I'm talking about going on road trips with friends, having an irresistible crush, getting asked to prom by someone who you didn't know realized you existed. So, having missed all of that and subconsciously regretting it, I somehow decided (date & time unknown, unfortunately) that I should spend more time making sure that I don't become a misanthropic, antisocial doctor (you see the inherent issues, of course). i'm NOT a hedonist, although I think a week off doing nothing but giving into my indulgences in somewhere like venice or paris would be mind-blowingly brilliant...maybe when I actually have an income! As far as the hard work goes and the determination to succeed, it's still there...old habits die hard. But it's been tempered (HA, great timing...I could've used the old headstrong girl to get through my current undergraduate education at Cornell...)
There is so much I would like to type out, but I'm afraid of jumbling my thoughts. Clearly, I've been suppressing a long-awaited desire to blog. :)
Happy New Year's Eve! It's time to think about Resolutions for the New Year, refined by past mistakes and consistent failures. But there's nothing like a fresh start, right?
Short answer:
nothing. I am still a nerdy bookworm who watches classic movies.
Slightly more optimistic, detailed answer:
I can't get too ahead of myself. I'm still that young idealist who believes that in happy endings and in dreams being fulfilled with the maximum possible effort. But...my priorities and the way I make my aspirations a reality has changed. My mother, my father always emphasized the importance of hard work and practical effort. But what if I can afford some luxuries somewhere in there? What if I realized that...in the prime of my teen years, I missed all the little things that I thought growing up in America would mean? I'm not referring to the great education, freedoms, high standard of living (but thanks, government). I'm talking about going on road trips with friends, having an irresistible crush, getting asked to prom by someone who you didn't know realized you existed. So, having missed all of that and subconsciously regretting it, I somehow decided (date & time unknown, unfortunately) that I should spend more time making sure that I don't become a misanthropic, antisocial doctor (you see the inherent issues, of course). i'm NOT a hedonist, although I think a week off doing nothing but giving into my indulgences in somewhere like venice or paris would be mind-blowingly brilliant...maybe when I actually have an income! As far as the hard work goes and the determination to succeed, it's still there...old habits die hard. But it's been tempered (HA, great timing...I could've used the old headstrong girl to get through my current undergraduate education at Cornell...)
There is so much I would like to type out, but I'm afraid of jumbling my thoughts. Clearly, I've been suppressing a long-awaited desire to blog. :)
Happy New Year's Eve! It's time to think about Resolutions for the New Year, refined by past mistakes and consistent failures. But there's nothing like a fresh start, right?