(no subject)
A couple years ago,I had an abortion.I became pregnant on July fourth and had the abortion August fourth.I know I did the right thing,I am very pro-choice and don't want children.Even though I love them.
Because of medication as well as life-style,children would not be right for me.Maybe adopted children someday,but not biological.
I have days where I grieve.No one in my family knows about the abortion,not my mom,siblings..no one.
It would kill my mom,because she believes that life starts at conception.She'd see me as the one who chose to kill her grandchild.(
(I don't consider an embryo or a fetus to be a "baby" untim about the fifth month,imo.)
And when I found out about the pregnancy,I stayed up all night,crying and smoking and wishing I could call her.Ironic,huh?
I got drunk off my ass at the time of what would have been my due date. Then I was fine,even grateful not to be encumbered by a kid.
Then what would have been the babie's one -year birthday came around,and I had the worst time.I was genuinely sad.Very,very sad.
But usually I'm fine.
What the hell?
Is this normal?Has anyone else gone thru this?
Does this mean I made the wrong choice?I don't think I did,but why else would I be so sad,unless some small part of me is wondering if I was wrong?
I don't want to even consider that I might have regrets.I have no money for children,no desire to sublimate my freedom..so what the hell?
Does anyone relate to this?Please respond,cuz I need some clarity.
I feel so fucking confused.
Because of medication as well as life-style,children would not be right for me.Maybe adopted children someday,but not biological.
I have days where I grieve.No one in my family knows about the abortion,not my mom,siblings..no one.
It would kill my mom,because she believes that life starts at conception.She'd see me as the one who chose to kill her grandchild.(
(I don't consider an embryo or a fetus to be a "baby" untim about the fifth month,imo.)
And when I found out about the pregnancy,I stayed up all night,crying and smoking and wishing I could call her.Ironic,huh?
I got drunk off my ass at the time of what would have been my due date. Then I was fine,even grateful not to be encumbered by a kid.
Then what would have been the babie's one -year birthday came around,and I had the worst time.I was genuinely sad.Very,very sad.
But usually I'm fine.
What the hell?
Is this normal?Has anyone else gone thru this?
Does this mean I made the wrong choice?I don't think I did,but why else would I be so sad,unless some small part of me is wondering if I was wrong?
I don't want to even consider that I might have regrets.I have no money for children,no desire to sublimate my freedom..so what the hell?
Does anyone relate to this?Please respond,cuz I need some clarity.
I feel so fucking confused.