Communicable Emotions
While I was out risking my health in a short and well-intentioned jag to get my homework done, I realized that I just don't see any incentive in it. The job market's shifting and the school system itself is not immune to the same depravity and lack of insight that it claims to help ameliorate. This isn't helping to stimulate my inner conscience to pursue an education; it just shows the same lack of competence everything else in my life. I've lost a shitload of people and it seems that everyone I look at reminds me of them. In the mixture of disgust and sadness that follows, I don't know how to go on being an extraordinary person in a painfully generic world.
I miss people I haven't even met, just to give me some substitute to the loneliness of having met the exact same people a dozen times over. A little Fregolian, I know, but it's the only way I can express the overwhelming sense of blandness that envelops my mind when I am tired of feeling sad. It's all the same emotion anyway.
I had already failed, anyway. I don't blame all of those people for going away. I wouldn't want a violent sadist for a friend, either. Whatever happens next, I guess it will have to happen soon, lest I find myself in more inopportune circumstances than I do now.
I miss people I haven't even met, just to give me some substitute to the loneliness of having met the exact same people a dozen times over. A little Fregolian, I know, but it's the only way I can express the overwhelming sense of blandness that envelops my mind when I am tired of feeling sad. It's all the same emotion anyway.
I had already failed, anyway. I don't blame all of those people for going away. I wouldn't want a violent sadist for a friend, either. Whatever happens next, I guess it will have to happen soon, lest I find myself in more inopportune circumstances than I do now.