mindless ranting with no really purpose or plan to it
it's gonna be long
just for fair warning
i dont know what i'm going to do for the next little while. things keep happening. things go my way then they shit in my face. lovely imagery eh.
i've given up on spanish. i'm taking it again next year.
i realized exactly how stupid my life has been.
i take something that i like and that i want to learn then i still dont give a shit. i just dont do it, i procrastinate i fall back into that underachieving persona that i've had as long as i can remember.
i dont know why i do that but thats stopping.
its been raised to my attention that i give up on somethings too easily. i turn away. that pisses me off. i'm sorry but it does. its hard to keep going for one thing when you were dismissed like a whim when someone else just happened to apear at a party. but thats not important.
well it is but i'm moving on from that point.
i quit smoking a long time ago and i've smoked half a pack today.
i didnt smoke that much when i smoked.
meh i seemed to of needed it thought it didnt help things. i just felt better hiding in one of my bad habbits.
oh well i quit
again.
i was good 4 months and no smoking. its screws with your body. and i need that in good order.
i've been playing guitar like a madman writing songs.
i want to run. it helps relieve that tight feeling i get sometimes around my heart. its because of the adrenaline. i get it sometimes when i'm mad or sad. depending on the thing i might just take off. but i've been working out for about 2 hours and i'm just taking a small break. i'm quite good at chin ups it turns out.
my head has been shaved. last time i fall asleep at jacks place. thats okay doesnt look that bad. actually it looks pretty good.
it rained today. it rained a lot.
it made me smile. i love the rain.
i ran around with no shoes. it felt good.
some guy punched me yesterday. that made me angry. i have a fading bruise above my right eye. i probably deserved it somewhere a long the way.
i'm thinking about leaving. at the end of th esummer that is. going to india or something. i want to get out of here. i feel that would be easier then dealing with all this shit thats come about.
but i'm not turning away again.
i want to fight this time.
i dont know what to think. i dont know what to do. i dont know how i feel.
i'm lost and on my way to another crash.
why do think my nickname is crash after all.
i'll survive. i always do.
but its hard
just for fair warning
i dont know what i'm going to do for the next little while. things keep happening. things go my way then they shit in my face. lovely imagery eh.
i've given up on spanish. i'm taking it again next year.
i realized exactly how stupid my life has been.
i take something that i like and that i want to learn then i still dont give a shit. i just dont do it, i procrastinate i fall back into that underachieving persona that i've had as long as i can remember.
i dont know why i do that but thats stopping.
its been raised to my attention that i give up on somethings too easily. i turn away. that pisses me off. i'm sorry but it does. its hard to keep going for one thing when you were dismissed like a whim when someone else just happened to apear at a party. but thats not important.
well it is but i'm moving on from that point.
i quit smoking a long time ago and i've smoked half a pack today.
i didnt smoke that much when i smoked.
meh i seemed to of needed it thought it didnt help things. i just felt better hiding in one of my bad habbits.
oh well i quit
again.
i was good 4 months and no smoking. its screws with your body. and i need that in good order.
i've been playing guitar like a madman writing songs.
i want to run. it helps relieve that tight feeling i get sometimes around my heart. its because of the adrenaline. i get it sometimes when i'm mad or sad. depending on the thing i might just take off. but i've been working out for about 2 hours and i'm just taking a small break. i'm quite good at chin ups it turns out.
my head has been shaved. last time i fall asleep at jacks place. thats okay doesnt look that bad. actually it looks pretty good.
it rained today. it rained a lot.
it made me smile. i love the rain.
i ran around with no shoes. it felt good.
some guy punched me yesterday. that made me angry. i have a fading bruise above my right eye. i probably deserved it somewhere a long the way.
i'm thinking about leaving. at the end of th esummer that is. going to india or something. i want to get out of here. i feel that would be easier then dealing with all this shit thats come about.
but i'm not turning away again.
i want to fight this time.
i dont know what to think. i dont know what to do. i dont know how i feel.
i'm lost and on my way to another crash.
why do think my nickname is crash after all.
i'll survive. i always do.
but its hard