I know I'm going to feel this way until you kill it
I wish to sleep and not wake up. It seems like I am never right, always comes second to everyone else and what I feel is of no one's concern.
I am standing alone like usual, alone with this feeling of inadequate emotions. I can't seem to get it right, I am always at fault..Just so sad and frustrated about it all. I can't express what I feel cause it goes on deaf ears or I am wrong to feel what I feel. How do I communicate with someone who just feels like I am nagging or creating problems? Whatever happened to discussing the problems at hand instead of letting it affect our moods? whatever happened to making it work? I feel so alone in this, alone with my own heart. All I know is that I am changing and becoming someone I hate, the person who changes because the other doesn't believe in compromise.
I am starting to hate myself each day.
I love him with all my heart, I would do anything for him and I have so far. I've swallowed my pride, my anger and everything else for him. So why isn't that enough? Must I be the dirty little secret hiding in the closet?
Maybe I shouldn't care as much...Maybe I should be putting my walls up? But how can I be a hypocrite about my own feelings? How can I not love someone completely and truly?
So what to do? lower my head and walk behind him? apparently. Not talk of my feelings? Definitely. Maybe if I mute myself he won't get so annoyed by me anymore. I just feel like giving up on who I am and becoming who he apparently wants me to be because in the end I've become a slave to his will.
I am standing alone like usual, alone with this feeling of inadequate emotions. I can't seem to get it right, I am always at fault..Just so sad and frustrated about it all. I can't express what I feel cause it goes on deaf ears or I am wrong to feel what I feel. How do I communicate with someone who just feels like I am nagging or creating problems? Whatever happened to discussing the problems at hand instead of letting it affect our moods? whatever happened to making it work? I feel so alone in this, alone with my own heart. All I know is that I am changing and becoming someone I hate, the person who changes because the other doesn't believe in compromise.
I am starting to hate myself each day.
I love him with all my heart, I would do anything for him and I have so far. I've swallowed my pride, my anger and everything else for him. So why isn't that enough? Must I be the dirty little secret hiding in the closet?
Maybe I shouldn't care as much...Maybe I should be putting my walls up? But how can I be a hypocrite about my own feelings? How can I not love someone completely and truly?
So what to do? lower my head and walk behind him? apparently. Not talk of my feelings? Definitely. Maybe if I mute myself he won't get so annoyed by me anymore. I just feel like giving up on who I am and becoming who he apparently wants me to be because in the end I've become a slave to his will.
Click to view