re: Mojo Meeting on Forgiveness (was: notes - long)

Oct 08, 2004 14:27

thank you SO much, hanzatsu, for taking notes during our meeting about forgiveness... and posting them for us to enjoy in the new mojo_meeting community!
this is pure bliss to be able to see how deep we explored and realize that we have still only scratched the surface of the issues.
my response to the notes dragged on so long, i thought it best to make a new post...

Shanta retold a story from Matthew about master and evil servant and followed it up by explaining the prisoner's dilemna. Topic of extending trust v. forgiveness.

luckily for us, there were other people present who knew the story besides me, for my memory often paraphrases details erroneously.

my rambling ruminations concerning forgiveness & game theory can be found in the post: the king and his debtors

This idea of forgiveness not being mutually exclusive to extending trust or even liking someone again led to the discussion about the difference between boundaries and walls. Boundaries move with you while walls never move and are unforgiving. (pun intended)

this section of our discussion provided me with a powerful lesson.
one way i will be able to deserve & accept forgiveness in my life is by insuring that my own boundaries are honored, as well as respecting those of the people around me...

and the martial arts techniques we talked about resonate strongly with me, also:

from aikido, the concept of maai, which is the combative engagement distance, or combative interval... i probably first learned about this idea of a sphere of influence from gaming -- because i didn't have an older sibling who could hold onto my head, keeping me out of striking distance -- but it strongly relates to the idea of "boundaries" that we discussed!

and from shaolin kung fu, i think it was (?), there was offered a powerful tactic of initially asking forgiveness for offending another, in order to avoid conflict.

The question came up Is there a place for anger and revenge? Is there ever a time to not forgive? People had varying opinions from yes there is a time to not forgive to no while there is a time to dislike and not trust there is never a time to not ultimately forgive.

our opinions do often seem to span the spectrum, as it were, and yet we are able to continue to discuss things together... awesome!

Important to remember you need to acknowledge that your feelings are meaningful, truth to face the situation instead of twisting the facts to be able to forgive, and remembering you need to fix the mistakes.

for me, this really seems to strike at the essence of the issue... and reminds me of the serenity prayer:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

however, while researching for this post, i came across something that is really one of the heaviest things i can remember reading in a long time -- that really speaks to me and which i believe relates to the issues that a lot of people i know are dealing with -- this resource is entitled, "Victim Correction as a Panacea (And What Science Can Do About It)," and it criticizes the foundations of the very ideas of addiction, depression, self-help, codependency, xtianity, etc... in our Western cultural context of modern America.

here's a choice quote:

` ` Cross Christian forgiveness with pragmatism, and you'd end up with the cognitive distortions of modern Western depression. These say that your reality is your reality whether good or evil, and each of us must unconditionally accept all reality that he can't change. Also, you must surmount your bad realities with perfect success, or you're going to accumulate a lot of almost-solved and partially-solved problems, and weaknesses. If you don't mentally transcend and physically prevail, you're the hellion, the unforgivable problem.... ' '

considering the extensive exegesis that is contained in that thesis, i am reminded of an even infinitely more satirical critique of contemporary culture, called "The Boomer Bible," in which the "Trinity of Harry," is composed of Desire, Certainty, and Blame... if you ask me, the entire text is a total laugh-riot, but YMMV. here's a rather compelling summary of the book from an unlikely source, the assistant headmaster of a private, Christian high school that used The Boomer Bible as a text book.

Another question from a Mojo-er Why forgive?
Again various answers- to take control, to move forward, to cleanse.

in a social context, to re-open the door for mutually beneficial relationships?
...or not, depending on whether or not the other person can be trusted.

and within the self, to avoid ulcers!

Burning of last week's cards and discussion.

i took some powerful messages away from this ritual (besides my own sharing of the bene gesserit litany against fear, paraphrased with assistance from the group... thanks again y'all!)

i have continually come back to the ideas of myself being the prominent link between all of my "bad relationships"

and i have also how important it is for me to make myself a happy person, for my own sake of course, and also because that happiness can be mimetic to those i interact with!

this ritual was extremely powerful for me, and i know that it was for others, too!

one of the main strengths of "Paganism," is the ability to compose rituals, "de novio;" as pointed out by sam webster... whose speech, "Ritual, Magick & How Pagans will Save the World," was a major inspiration in the quest that recently led me to seek out a group of people with whom to share spirituality.

Back to topic of forgiveness after merry jokes about guy's code of pissing, public bathing, and brutal honesty.

i was inspired by radical honesty to create a community called, areopagus... which was crude, but effective.
on a related note, i once made a post concerning geek fallacies, and tact filters, otakus, montage, reclaiming, et alia...

and in affirmative answer to the question, "would we still need forgiveness if everyone were radically honest with each other?"
here is my essay on the culture of the orang asli, the indigenous culture of peninsular malaysia ...they who live in communities without privacy, using the taboo of "punan" to resolve their conflicts without violence towards other humans. ironically enough, the local Islamic justice system continues to protect these people's indigenous sovereignty rights, in an exemplary manner to which the rest of the world should pay heed.

Sometimes the lack of forgiveness is a self induced punishment- feeling necessary to pound your hand with a hammer over and over again. Let's learn from the monks and put down the geisha a long time ago.

while we were at starseeds tonight, earthmonkey23 related another parable to me, concerning the Bajoran_Prophets, who attempt to understand linear time, but are confounded by the paradoxes created when corporeal beings return to the past (e.g. to traumatic events and other peak experiences), or when they dream of the future...

Forgiveness does not mean that you are welcoming someone back into your life, or that you are condoning what actions were taken to need forgiveness- in fact the steps of forgiveness should most importantly involve lessons to understand and correct the problems at the center of the issue.

is this adequately addressed in the idea of "making direct amends, whenever possible, to the persons we injured, except when doing so would cause further injury or harm," or is that too simplistic an ideal?

To forgive to me means to ground the negative energy, the desire for revenge and the burning anger, or to learn to channel the negative energy into some other form of energy.

"The tools developed for this transformative task use a range of strategies from a communication theory, such as Rosenberg's, to conventional religious principles, such as reconciliation and forgiveness, and psychoanalytical techniques developed by conflict intervention practitioners."

- from "Conflict Resolution, Genetics, and Alchemy - The Evolution of Conflict Transmutation" (wow, this is so freakin' awesome... i love this!)

Forgiveness is important for not holding on to the past and being swallowed up by cynicalness and negativity, it is important for social relations and to move beyond, around, and work with boundaries and not stand encircled in walls.

in my own life experience, i have learned how socratic argument and satire may be an amusingly ironic pastime (even an illuminating experience of gnosis) for those who consent to engage in it; but that it is no way to run one's every conversation... there's a reason why the Athenians sentenced Socrates to drink the hemlock!

I think one lesson of forgiveness that I would have liked to have discussed more is the issue of forgiving oneself. There are all things that we need to forgive ourselves for and to honestly mean it.

word.

I think we are so often unable to forgive others, to be calmer, to be less riddled with hate, fear, sadness, and anger because we are unable to forgive wrongs that we have committed, and to learn to like ourselves again.

i am continually searching for the beautiful balance between the pillars of mercy and strength...

And please remember, fleece with unicorns will lead to unwanted demonically influenced coerced sexual acts. I know when I see somebody with unicorns on their clothing-

% Just beyond the hedgerows of Eden, Homer can see Marge toiling.
% Regretful that he did not stand up for Marge earlier, he decides to
% sneak her back in. "I mean, God can't be everywhere at once,
% right," he reasons.
%
% Homer sends the land monster, er, groundhog to dig a hole under the
% hedge to Marge. The unicorn follows, widening the hole so Marge can
% crawl through it. The effort takes too much from him, and he
% collapses in a lifeless heap (*or was it the polluted environment
% outside of eden?*). Marge quickly crawls through the hole
% to be reunited with her help-mate.

Homer: Oh, my dear, sweet Eve. I love you even more than the
butterscotch pond or the porno bush.
[the skies darken, and Ned (as "God") appears]
Ned: So, this is how you repay me, Adam! [Homer and Marge gasp
in horror] And after I created my fingers to the bone for
you. I -- Ohhhh, my unicorn! [tries to rouse him by
nudging him with His finger] Oh, what have they done to
you, Gary?
Homer: There, there, I'm sure he's gone to a better place, Lord.
Ned: Oh, shut up! You are so banished!
Homer: Hey, now, let's not do anything rash! [placating] God is
love, right?
[Ned flicks him into the next county with His finger]

-- Tough love, apparently, "Simpsons Bible Stories"

"Nor let the fools mistake love; for there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the serpent. Choose ye well!"
- Liber AL vel Legis sub figura CCXX: I,57

my first thought is "Damn. I want to tap that."

{8^@ oh, goodness... you mean those unicorn horns are an aphrodisiac?
and i thought you meant "tap" like in M:TG? (except that new tap symbol looks like a limp penis)?

i can't wait to see that infamous epistle next week!
i'll also bring my coffee-table book about The Unicorn, by Nancy Hathaway.
so we can all compare notes?

--

A quote from Islam followed leading to a topic of Islam being an umbrella to bring social control.

this isn't the quote we read, but i thought this might illustrate where i was coming from on that subject:

"in the forms of Islamic expression that have been emphasised; there may be little attention paid to the cultural and religious diversity under the umbrella of Islam, with a focus instead on political rhetoric and activism at the expense of quietist, mystically oriented beliefs"

- Studying Islam after 9-11: Reflections and Resources

According to sacred-texts.com, "The Hadith, second only to the Qur'an in importance and authority, are collections of Islamic traditions and laws (Sunna). This includes traditional sayings of Muhammed and later Islamic sages. By the ninth century over 600,000 Hadith had been recorded; these were later edited down to about 25,000."

IMHO, the Hadith (which literally means, "news") record the attempt to assimilate numerous warring factions under the umbrella of Islam.

According to Arthur Goldschmidt, Jr.'s "A Concise History of the Middle East," Chpt. 8. Islamic Civilization:

` ` Scholars are divided between the terms "Islamic" and "Arabic." Some say the civilization was Islamic because the religion of Islam brought together the various peoples -- mainly Arabs, Persians, and Turks -- who took part in it.
...
Muslims wish to know and to obey the rules of behavior that will please God and maintain a harmonious society. These rules have been carefully compiled and organized into a law code called the Shari'ah (an Arabic word meaning "way"). It is somewhat like the Talmud for Orthodox Judaism; there is nothing comparable in Christianity
...
Historians of Islam see in the Shari'ah elements taken from many ancient legal systems, but Muslims customarily view their law as having four, or most five, main sources: the Quran, the hadiths (documented statements about the sunnah of Muhammad), interpretation by analogy, consensus of the ummah, and (for some) judicial opinion.
...
The social, cultural, and intellectual life of early Islam was so rich and so varied that it defies brief descriptive surveys. The Muslim peoples of the Middle East drew on their own pre-lslamic traditions, plus those of the various civilizations with which they came in contact, many of which had already flourished for centuries. They absorbed the customs and ideas that would go with their basic belief in the unity of God and the mission of Muhammad -- and rejected the others. ' '

in addition to this academic view of the overall, largely exoteric development of islam, there is also an underground current which surfaces occasionally from it's hermetic existence. for instance, perhaps at the extreme ends of the spectrum may be found the writings of Hakim Bey / Peter Lamborn Wilson (who is a notoriously disgraceful person, so the irony is indeed thick, here) concerning Esoteric Islam & Islamic Heresies:
Secrets of the Assassins
Introduction to the Sufi Path
The Anti-Caliph
& The History and Catechism of the Moorish Orthodox Church of America
The Mystics of Islam
Ismaili materials (Islamic Gnosticism)

i couldn't resist also mentioning this...

from the same author as, "Victim Correction as a Panacea" there is this insightful essay: "The Message to Intellectuals in the Islamic World," which offers an unsettling perspective that: ` `concerns the parallels between expectations that Palestinians and other Arabs should work toward the millions of Palestinian refugees rebuilding their own lives pragmatically wherever they live, and the assumptions that self-help thinking would have that any refugees of anything, such as domestic violence, rebuild their own lives pragmatically wherever they live. ' '

and i am also reminded of an episode of West Wing, called "Isaac & Ishmael," which i haven't actually seen, but that i think contains this rather potent, albeit perhaps oversimplistic analogy, transcribed here:

` ` "Islamic extremist is to Islam as _______ is to Christianity."
After hearing from the students, Josh writes down his answer: "KKK. . . It's the Klan gone medieval and global. It couldn't have less to do with Islamic men and women of faith of whom there are millions and millions. Muslims defend this country in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corp, National Guard, Police and Fire Department." ' '

(which brought to my mind, making a montage out of the images from 9-11 with scenes from DW Griffith's Birth of A Nation)

--

well, i have always agreed with Noam Chomsky's criticism of Western media:

"there’s a big degree of illiteracy and functional illiteracy in the nation and that the media, through their insistence on concision, help to foster illiteracy, impose conventional thinking, and block searching inquiry and critical analysis."

but i think i should shut up, now... and go work on some editing skillz.

y'all keep up The Great Work now, y'hear?!!!

--

x-posted to aethyrflux & mojo_meeting ...please join our new community and make comments there!

salon, forgiveness, mojo meeting, trust

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