(no subject)
i feel so icky right now. dont know why. the heinous rainy cold weather sure isn't helping. i dont know why i let things get to me so much. i hate wearing my heart on my sleave. things have changed i guess. i mean i guess that i didnt really think about it....but it happened. thats rough. god why does this upset me? i feel so dumb. i feel like no one gets it. but i just want to be over it all. i want to stay completely away. but now it's impossible. it's impossible because of my emotional stupidity. that sounds so horrible and selfish. ive been trying my best to deal. i think that ive done pretty good all things considered.
i just feel foolish. like it was all for nothing. i should have known better from the very very beginning. day 4 of this disaster should have been a blinking red light. i just believed what i was told...theres nothing wrong with that? how was i to know there was nothing to back it up? true there was what everyone, even neutral people told me....but....rrrright.
just another failure.....except i feel like this failure is being played on repeat and just got louder.
i just feel foolish. like it was all for nothing. i should have known better from the very very beginning. day 4 of this disaster should have been a blinking red light. i just believed what i was told...theres nothing wrong with that? how was i to know there was nothing to back it up? true there was what everyone, even neutral people told me....but....rrrright.
just another failure.....except i feel like this failure is being played on repeat and just got louder.