mad scientist/henchman romaaaaance

Jan 27, 2009 20:06

Oh Best of Craigslist, you inspire such demented musings!

[19:14] aesc: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nmi/948160088.html < do you think Rodney would ever put his death ray up for sale on craigslist?
[19:14] siriaeve: no, there's a sentimental attachment

[19:15] aesc: :))
[19:16] aesc: his first death ray! you can't put a price on that :D
[19:16] aesc: like your first real romance
[19:16] siriaeve: exactly! people don't realise the emotional involvement that comes with being a truly dedicated mad scientist
[19:17] aesc: yis yis! it's emotionally and spiritually demanding!
[19:18] siriaeve: also, his igor is completely useless
[19:18] siriaeve: and insists on being called john, which is just not traditional for an igor
[19:18] siriaeve: and he slouches, but not in an appropriately hunchbacked way!
[19:18] aesc: and he does not say "yessssss, Massster," except when he's being sarcastic
[19:19] aesc: he's very impertinent for a henchman
[19:19] siriaeve: and rodney is quite certain that someone sewed his eyebrows on lopsided, because they keep doing this sort of thing: /:)
[19:20] aesc: and his hair looks like he's been messing around with Rodney's Electrotransfer device
[19:20] aesc: (the device whereby he hopes to transfer the consciousness of a man into the body of a duck)
[19:21] siriaeve: (but once succeeded in transferring the consciousness of a duck into the body of dick cheney. surprisingly, that one worked out well for all concerned)
[19:22] aesc: (one of those instances in which mad scientists prove they are in fact of great benefit to humanity)

[hiatus for the making of pizza]

[19:28] aesc: also, when Rodney was hiring for the position of entry-level henchman, Igor (John, whoever) wanted to meet at a coffee shop or some place, not in Rodney's spooky mansion at the top of its forlorn and windswept hill
[19:29] siriaeve: no respect for tradition :|
[19:29] aesc: and it's so hard to find a good henchman these days
[19:29] aesc: even with the absymal economy
[19:29] siriaeve: rodney had hooked up his thunder-o-matic instant atmosphere machine especially-normally he found it gave him indigestion, but there was nothing for a good bout of thunder and lightning to give a place atmosphere
[19:30] aesc: so it was jarring, to say the least, when he opened his email and saw that his prospective hire wanted to know "if you would prefer meeting at Starbucks instead" and suggested they could "get to know each other" before conducting an on-site interview
[19:32] siriaeve: :)))
[19:33] siriaeve: not that rodney's objecting to the latte, but it's just lacking in a little dignity, is all he's saying
[19:33] aesc: he's cutting-edge in all areas of legitimate mad-scientific research, but when it comes to self-presentation and marketing, he'll admit to being something of a traditionalist
[19:34] siriaeve: he has a reputation to uphold!
[19:34] siriaeve: the mckays have been mad scientists for generations!
[19:34] siriaeve: even if jeannie had to... well.
[19:35] aesc: she got fed up with the glass ceiling and left the field
[19:36] siriaeve: rodney told her that the glass ceiling was actually a superconductive element to help him better harness electricity from lightning storms!
[19:36] siriaeve: but she started talking about metaphor, blah blah
[19:37] siriaeve: and rodney stopped listening
[19:40] aesc: they don't get to talk very much... Rodney tells himself it's because all his experiments interfere with the telephone reception
[19:42] siriaeve: heee
[19:43] aesc: also, John drives him crazy... he doesn't play spooky organ music, as is proper for a henchman (and Rodney hasn't played the organ since his organ instructor told him he lacked "passion"), he plays Johnny Cash
[19:44] siriaeve: you simply can't reanimate dead tissue to 'solitary man'
[19:45] aesc: Rodney has tried, without success, to explain to John the importance of creating and maintaining the proper atmosphere
[19:46] siriaeve: no wonder the other igors say that john has a black mark
[19:47] aesc: he probably should have looked at John's resume a bit more closely... but he'd been distracted by having to repeat his coffee order ten times, and also by the awareness that John is, for an igor, rather attractive
[19:50] siriaeve: there's just something about a man who knows how to use his hands
[19:50] siriaeve: all of them
[19:50] aesc: does he have more than two? :D
[19:53] siriaeve: yes! a good igor will always have spares
[19:53] siriaeve: he has a jar of them
[19:53] siriaeve: and when people say he has his mother's eyes.
[19:53] siriaeve: well.
[19:54] aesc: one hand falls off one day, and Rodney has to bolt a replacement on
[19:54] siriaeve: heeee
[19:55] aesc: it is kind of odd, sitting this close to John, aware of John looking at the top of his head with those slightly mismatched eyes
[19:56] siriaeve: :> :>
[19:56] siriaeve: and yet, not unpleasant
[19:56] aesc: John smells nice and musty, like old, old stones
[19:56] siriaeve: or formaldehyde :-?

Yes.

can haz crack!

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