Depression is so stupid
I'm on 80mg of Prozac these days which means I have many less suicidal thoughts. And tonight I even felt like...glad that I didn't kill myself at some earlier point in my life.
When I realized that I instantly was swamped with a feeling of dismay. Because somehow, my brain feels, being happy that I didn't kill myself years ago means that all of the times I've felt suicidal were not real. Like I am invalidating my own feelings then by feeling something different now.
It's really stupid and weird and I don't even know what to do with it.
Also this level of Prozac leaves me feeling a little detached from my emotions. And I find that disconcerting.
eh
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When I realized that I instantly was swamped with a feeling of dismay. Because somehow, my brain feels, being happy that I didn't kill myself years ago means that all of the times I've felt suicidal were not real. Like I am invalidating my own feelings then by feeling something different now.
It's really stupid and weird and I don't even know what to do with it.
Also this level of Prozac leaves me feeling a little detached from my emotions. And I find that disconcerting.
eh
Posted from DreamWidth.
comments there.
You can comment there with OpenID or a DWth account.