Just call me Drama Llama
Last Thursday I was to take Sparkle in to get his nuts chopped off. I was fairly confident I could do it. But I am not doing so hot without my meds and I vastly over-estimated my ability to function and plan and execute plans.
He wasn't playing with the laser light like he had been, so I thought I'd try something else. I slipped a lasso-leash over his body and when he darted away it tightened. Not around his neck, I want to make that clear. If it had been around his neck I would have let go immediately.
He freaked the fuck out and started bouncing off the walls and clawing at anything and everything to try to pull himself away from me and the leash. He would not stop pulling. He was in total panic, which naturally freaked me out.
I did get a hand on him, but I needed to adjust my hold and he got free again. The lease was still around him though and now he was in a position that I couldn't get closer to him and so he just kept pulling and pulling and pulling. I was terrified he was going to harm himself.
I had to let him go and he got out of the leash-lasso and hid under the couch. All the cats were upset and giving me dirty looks. I was super upset and freaked out and so that ruined my day and the next several that followed.
Sparkle's fine. He doesn't run at first sight of me, but he won't be trusting me anytime soon. I feel horrible.
It's hard to remember to adjust down my functionality expectations for myself. Until I get less...disordered mom is taking over the cat corralling duties.
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He wasn't playing with the laser light like he had been, so I thought I'd try something else. I slipped a lasso-leash over his body and when he darted away it tightened. Not around his neck, I want to make that clear. If it had been around his neck I would have let go immediately.
He freaked the fuck out and started bouncing off the walls and clawing at anything and everything to try to pull himself away from me and the leash. He would not stop pulling. He was in total panic, which naturally freaked me out.
I did get a hand on him, but I needed to adjust my hold and he got free again. The lease was still around him though and now he was in a position that I couldn't get closer to him and so he just kept pulling and pulling and pulling. I was terrified he was going to harm himself.
I had to let him go and he got out of the leash-lasso and hid under the couch. All the cats were upset and giving me dirty looks. I was super upset and freaked out and so that ruined my day and the next several that followed.
Sparkle's fine. He doesn't run at first sight of me, but he won't be trusting me anytime soon. I feel horrible.
It's hard to remember to adjust down my functionality expectations for myself. Until I get less...disordered mom is taking over the cat corralling duties.
Posted from DreamWidth.
comments there.
You can comment there with OpenID or a DWth account.