today is not my day
I had a very eventful morning today. I was taking a delicious jacuzzi bath (you all remember my bathtub, otherwise know as my pleasuretub of love) and if it isn't already obvious I was masturbating. I was almost done when suddenly... A GIANT MOTHERFUCKING SPIDER MOTHERFUCKER JUMPED ON MY FACE... after running out of my tub in a flat second I danced around in a towel whimpering and trying to beat the creepycrawly feeling all over my skin. I then turned around back to the tub and drowned the fucker for ruining my masturbation routine. I don't dislike spiders at all... but when a creepy spider gets in my motherfucking space ESPECIALLY when I'm masturbating... it's time to motherfucking die!!!!
Behold the carnage
It is now time to crawl into a fetal position and cry myself to sleep.
In other news, I think I'm madly in love with about four different men. I've been stalking around second cup all day and night waiting for the handsome, middle aged italian artist who smokes from a pipe and is apparently rich but drives a cheap car to come back. So far I've missed him twice! Severly attractive men are a serious health threat to me as I am going crazy over all of them.
think monogamy think monogamy think monogamy. being someones girlfriend is hard but it's worth it (hopefully).
Behold the carnage
It is now time to crawl into a fetal position and cry myself to sleep.
In other news, I think I'm madly in love with about four different men. I've been stalking around second cup all day and night waiting for the handsome, middle aged italian artist who smokes from a pipe and is apparently rich but drives a cheap car to come back. So far I've missed him twice! Severly attractive men are a serious health threat to me as I am going crazy over all of them.
think monogamy think monogamy think monogamy. being someones girlfriend is hard but it's worth it (hopefully).