(no subject)
I've had the day off today and I have honestly been in my bed like 90% of the day. I did get up and shower and shave once only because I could feel my hairy legs rubbing against one another under the covers and it grossed me out. That was my big accomplishment for the day. I have been totally nursing a hangover and possibly some humiliation... I'm not quite sure about that one yet. Last night I went out to grab a beer after work and one beer turned into MANY beers which of course turned into drunk dialing! My smart phone really should have some sort of breathalizer add on that requires me to test before I text or dial. I get a few drinks in me and suddenly feel the need to pour out every feeling I have ever had bottled up inside of me. It can be a little bit dangerous.
Of course I called Gus... and I absolutely rambled on and on about how I can't stop thinking about him since my visit there... and how I totally loved him before and those feelings all came back... I really did ramble on for at least an hour about how much I want to be with him and I told him that I have been holding back calling and contacting him because I don't want to seem like a clinger and I am worried that he doesn't feel the same way. He told me that the feelings were reciprocated and that if I lived closer he would be all over me. I talked about the distance and asked if really I should just try to let go of my feelings so that the reality of the situation didn't make the whole thing suck so much and he said no. i feel like we ended the conversation agreeing that I didn't have to muzzle my feelings and that we should continue contact and whatnot and see where it leads. Honestly I really want to be back in Atlanta. I have 14 more months here before I can leave and I know that is not really that long of a time but it scares me to death to think that 14 months from now our lives may be in different directions.
I did offer to buy him plane tickets to come see me next weekend when I am off and I was ready to buy them this morning and then realized that it is father's day weekend and he will want to be with his son. I guess we will have to figure out some other time. I was REALLY excited by the thought of seeing him again!
Ok - off to finally get out of bed and get ready. Caty and I are going to go meet up with another one of the GMs in the area for dinner. Too bad I got NOTHING done on my day off. As for my conversation with Gus, I do hate that I had to drunk dial to have the courage to have the conversation, but I am kinda glad that I got it out there.
Of course I called Gus... and I absolutely rambled on and on about how I can't stop thinking about him since my visit there... and how I totally loved him before and those feelings all came back... I really did ramble on for at least an hour about how much I want to be with him and I told him that I have been holding back calling and contacting him because I don't want to seem like a clinger and I am worried that he doesn't feel the same way. He told me that the feelings were reciprocated and that if I lived closer he would be all over me. I talked about the distance and asked if really I should just try to let go of my feelings so that the reality of the situation didn't make the whole thing suck so much and he said no. i feel like we ended the conversation agreeing that I didn't have to muzzle my feelings and that we should continue contact and whatnot and see where it leads. Honestly I really want to be back in Atlanta. I have 14 more months here before I can leave and I know that is not really that long of a time but it scares me to death to think that 14 months from now our lives may be in different directions.
I did offer to buy him plane tickets to come see me next weekend when I am off and I was ready to buy them this morning and then realized that it is father's day weekend and he will want to be with his son. I guess we will have to figure out some other time. I was REALLY excited by the thought of seeing him again!
Ok - off to finally get out of bed and get ready. Caty and I are going to go meet up with another one of the GMs in the area for dinner. Too bad I got NOTHING done on my day off. As for my conversation with Gus, I do hate that I had to drunk dial to have the courage to have the conversation, but I am kinda glad that I got it out there.