NaNo-less Day 2
No, I haven't done word count since Tuesday. My mind simply doesn't want to be pushed into working in my Phoenix world. Then again, yesterday was completely lost as a result of having far too little sleep the night before. Luckily enough, however, the news from OR was encouraging...
Wednesday morning was a hair-puller, however. At 9AM, I tried to call the hospital again so I could talk to Vanna - only to be told that she hadn't been admitted. Now, since I'd talked to her just the night before, I wasn't certain the operator wasn't just being a lazy person - but ultimately she checked and discovered that Vanna had been in the ER, but released later the night before, around 9PM.
By which time I, exhausted and emotionally overwrought, had already taken my pain pills and headed to bed after placing calls to dear friends who are able to be good advisors.
Okay, so I tried Vanna's cell phone # - no luck. At least not a first. I got a call from the landline where she lives, and it was Vanna. Her voice sounded flat and emotionless, but she was okay and at home.
The day was a complete loss otherwise. I was absolutely worn out and exhausted, and the best I could do was play Triple Town for most of the day. I got a call from Vanna's soon-to-be-ex, and we compared notes; she'd been just as taken by surprise by this as I had been. She was going to go over and talk to her and would call me back later. When she did, she said that Vanna was sounding more like herself - so I called again. Vanna definitely sounded more like herself, and the twist in my gut began to relax.
Today I actually managed to write a little - just not on my NaNo project. I let my Muse coast a bit, working on the Broadchurch fic. Went over to the Russian lady's place this afternoon for our regular Thursday mutual language lesson hour, and thoroughly enjoyed it. On the way home, bought stuff for supper.
But no, I'm not gonna worry about word count anymore today. Súl seems to have arranged for our family to talk to her therapist for an hour this coming Monday - not quite sure how I feel about that, to be honest. But I'll go, and it appears that my dear hubby will too. JJ is balking; I don't think he follows the discussions all that well and "doesn't want to be bored out of his skull" (his words, not mine.)
So, with any luck, I'll work on NaNo tomorrow morning. Tomorrow afternoon, I have to take JJ to Santa Maria to apply for a job with a construction firm down there. I also need to leave a message with VTC, the vocational place that's supposed to be working with him on employment issues.
At least I'm not scared to death that I'm gonna lose one of my kids anymore. What is it about my family these days that, at times, suicide seems to be the answer to the troubles? Dealing with my brother's troubles was bad enough. I simply don't have the emotional reserves to do it over and over again for first one and then the other.
Gonna relax tonight and watch the next Netflix Stargate SG-1 DVD.
Talk to you all tomorrow.
Wednesday morning was a hair-puller, however. At 9AM, I tried to call the hospital again so I could talk to Vanna - only to be told that she hadn't been admitted. Now, since I'd talked to her just the night before, I wasn't certain the operator wasn't just being a lazy person - but ultimately she checked and discovered that Vanna had been in the ER, but released later the night before, around 9PM.
By which time I, exhausted and emotionally overwrought, had already taken my pain pills and headed to bed after placing calls to dear friends who are able to be good advisors.
Okay, so I tried Vanna's cell phone # - no luck. At least not a first. I got a call from the landline where she lives, and it was Vanna. Her voice sounded flat and emotionless, but she was okay and at home.
The day was a complete loss otherwise. I was absolutely worn out and exhausted, and the best I could do was play Triple Town for most of the day. I got a call from Vanna's soon-to-be-ex, and we compared notes; she'd been just as taken by surprise by this as I had been. She was going to go over and talk to her and would call me back later. When she did, she said that Vanna was sounding more like herself - so I called again. Vanna definitely sounded more like herself, and the twist in my gut began to relax.
Today I actually managed to write a little - just not on my NaNo project. I let my Muse coast a bit, working on the Broadchurch fic. Went over to the Russian lady's place this afternoon for our regular Thursday mutual language lesson hour, and thoroughly enjoyed it. On the way home, bought stuff for supper.
But no, I'm not gonna worry about word count anymore today. Súl seems to have arranged for our family to talk to her therapist for an hour this coming Monday - not quite sure how I feel about that, to be honest. But I'll go, and it appears that my dear hubby will too. JJ is balking; I don't think he follows the discussions all that well and "doesn't want to be bored out of his skull" (his words, not mine.)
So, with any luck, I'll work on NaNo tomorrow morning. Tomorrow afternoon, I have to take JJ to Santa Maria to apply for a job with a construction firm down there. I also need to leave a message with VTC, the vocational place that's supposed to be working with him on employment issues.
At least I'm not scared to death that I'm gonna lose one of my kids anymore. What is it about my family these days that, at times, suicide seems to be the answer to the troubles? Dealing with my brother's troubles was bad enough. I simply don't have the emotional reserves to do it over and over again for first one and then the other.
Gonna relax tonight and watch the next Netflix Stargate SG-1 DVD.
Talk to you all tomorrow.