Friends with a recent ex?
So as I posted earlier, my boyfriend broke up with me right when we got back to school after winter break. I felt things were more distant lately, but didn't at all expect him to break up with me. I was devastated for quite a few days -- and I'm still in an emotional wave (being fine and then going into a depression/numbness or crying myself to sleep).
About a week ago he felt as if he wanted me back in his life after the whole weekend of thinking and missing me. We hung out with each other quite a bit early in the week and basically started acting as if we were together again (got my hopes all up). Then last Thursday on his birthday he had a counseling session earlier in the day and then told me that he wasn't sure anymore. So we went back to as we were before and as we still are now.
We talked for about 2 hours last Friday about everything -- it was pretty upsetting. It really just seems as if he's having an identity crisis and doesn't feel like he has been doing all that he should/wants to. I figured most people went through that in high school, but it seems as if he never had the chance to because he basically dated a girl for 4 years then and she was very jealous of his friends and controlling (from what I briefly heard from him and what his friends told me)... basically he never went to parties or could really talk to his friends that were girls because of her.
I have attempted to not really hound him with anything in helping him figure everything out, but I've given my thoughts and suggestions -- only made a few comments since we had our long talk on Friday.
Now he talked to me today and said how he really just needs a friend right now and not an ex and that it's not helping much with my questions and suggestions because it's only making me more distant from him. This is really hard for me to do considering that I've always had the urge to figure out problems and solutions to things.
But then in turn, he kind of angered me this morning with a text to check if I was going to make it to class on time. I told him that he really needed to stop being so worrisome of me and stop checking up all the time.
Soo... I guess we've both been at fault towards each other lately.
Anyone on here go through anything similar? Any suggestions on how to tolerate this? Its hard to be a friend when it's still so soon and not wonder how he's doing with everything.
About a week ago he felt as if he wanted me back in his life after the whole weekend of thinking and missing me. We hung out with each other quite a bit early in the week and basically started acting as if we were together again (got my hopes all up). Then last Thursday on his birthday he had a counseling session earlier in the day and then told me that he wasn't sure anymore. So we went back to as we were before and as we still are now.
We talked for about 2 hours last Friday about everything -- it was pretty upsetting. It really just seems as if he's having an identity crisis and doesn't feel like he has been doing all that he should/wants to. I figured most people went through that in high school, but it seems as if he never had the chance to because he basically dated a girl for 4 years then and she was very jealous of his friends and controlling (from what I briefly heard from him and what his friends told me)... basically he never went to parties or could really talk to his friends that were girls because of her.
I have attempted to not really hound him with anything in helping him figure everything out, but I've given my thoughts and suggestions -- only made a few comments since we had our long talk on Friday.
Now he talked to me today and said how he really just needs a friend right now and not an ex and that it's not helping much with my questions and suggestions because it's only making me more distant from him. This is really hard for me to do considering that I've always had the urge to figure out problems and solutions to things.
But then in turn, he kind of angered me this morning with a text to check if I was going to make it to class on time. I told him that he really needed to stop being so worrisome of me and stop checking up all the time.
Soo... I guess we've both been at fault towards each other lately.
Anyone on here go through anything similar? Any suggestions on how to tolerate this? Its hard to be a friend when it's still so soon and not wonder how he's doing with everything.