(no subject)
I thought I wrote this better in advice4teens, so I'm editing this, if that's okay.
Background:
I’m 18, and I’m a girl. College Freshman.
He’s 22, and he’s a boy, obviously. Fifth year Senior (Double Major...so no, he’s not stupid :D )
Dated: 2 months
Broke up: 2 months ago.
Reason: “Life stage” difference- I guess I’m a bit young for my age. It ended on good terms- “we can still be friends” was said, and even, “maybe we’ll be right for each other in the future” (since it was a matter of age differences, we thought maybe things will change. Idk.)
Question:
Sometimes when I want to talk to him, I feel like I think it would be awkward to go and talk to him. I want to talk to him, but I don’t want to come off as a psycho-stalker-ex girlfriend. I don’t want to come off as if I don’t even care about his existence by giving him space, either.
I saw him for the first month after we broke up because of band, and he would be the one that would usually say something first, and it was pretty normal. Then we went on winter break, so I didn’t see him for a month, until today. I called him on Christmas to wish him a Merry Christmas, and also as a way to let him know that I still want to continue talking and being friends. We didn’t acknowledge each other’s presence today though. I guess there wasn’t really time, but if I would have had the guts, I guess I could have said hi before class- I’m just really scared that he’ll think I’m like chasing him, but I don’t want to ignore him either. I know those are both extremes, but for some reason it feels like those are the only two ways things can be, even though I know there is something in between.
Q:So, what can I do to just make things feel normal again?
A: Just go up to him and talk to him! - Oh, if only things were that easy. There’s a reason why I think I feel somewhat awkward around him.
It’s essential to read this part to understand why things are weird. Without this part, my question just seems really lame, stupid, and simple.
I had a “boyfriend” in high school for 2 months. We held hands, big deal. I don’t really consider him as a boyfriend anymore. So, this guy was my first “real” boyfriend.
He’s had like nine “girlfriends” in his lifetime. (I think) He’s 22, so I guess that’s normal.
Obviously I don’t let myself fall for anyone very easily. But this was different...it hit me like a garbage truck...or something big, along those lines...
Alright. There are two reasons for the awkwardness:
Reason #1. He told me he loved me. (Two months of dating, I know what you’re thinking: “omgzzz, you’re stupid, you can’t fall in love that quick.” That’s what I thought, but I was wrong.) He said he’d never said that to anyone before. He said it took him usually four months of knowing a girl to even start liking them. He said I had something that all the other girls he’s dated didn’t have. I don’t know what it is, but I guess I have “it.” Considering all of this, and knowing he had had more experience in life than me, I believed him. I’ve never met someone who I’ve felt like I’ve known for longer than I’ve known them. I’ve never met anyone like him- I didn’t know people like him existed- he’s just, awesome. I got this amazing feeling everytime I saw him, everytime we hugged, everytime I thought about him, that I had never felt before. Assuming these were feelings of love, I said I loved him too.
I’ve always thought you can fall in love once in your life. I still think this is true. I think if it’s love for real, it doesn’t matter how quickly it happens. One day, before he said it, he asked me randomly, “how long do you think it takes for someone to fall in love with someone?” I was kind of, shocked in way I guess, but I said “if it’s real love, I don’t think there’s a time limit.”
Reason #2. We did stuff. Not “all the way” if that’s what your thinking. (This is quite strange to be telling strangers about my love life like this, but, anyways) And no, I’m not a skank. I’m like the total and complete opposite of a skank. I swear, I’m like a nun. We madeout like whoa in the nude a lot,and a little more, and I would spend the night at his house often. (I have this huge fear of public nudity, so I don’t even know how I accomplished this) I asked him if he had ever engaged in this sort of activity and he said with three girls before me, but he said he went further each time, and so the farthest he's gone was with me, who has been no where, up until now. If I was to tell my friends or family this, they wouldn’t believe me, at all. If my parents found this out, they would probably disown me, if they would even believe it in the first place.
When he broke up with me, he said he meant everything he had said. He also said he felt bad about what we did because he knew how ‘prude’ I was prior to me meeting him. I told him it was my choice, and that he didn’t make me do anything. I told him I was mad at myself for letting things fall apart, and he said he’d rather have me hate him than hate myself. I told him I didn’t hate him, but that I loved him. (I don’t remember how he responded to that) And I still feel the same way about him. I really think it was love. (I know what you’re thinking, “what a drama queen.” It’s not like me to think like this, but like they say “if it isn’t madness, it isn’t love.”)
So my final question is:
How do you talk to someone who has told you they love you, and who has seen you naked, and still be normal about it?
Ha.
Thanks!!
Background:
I’m 18, and I’m a girl. College Freshman.
He’s 22, and he’s a boy, obviously. Fifth year Senior (Double Major...so no, he’s not stupid :D )
Dated: 2 months
Broke up: 2 months ago.
Reason: “Life stage” difference- I guess I’m a bit young for my age. It ended on good terms- “we can still be friends” was said, and even, “maybe we’ll be right for each other in the future” (since it was a matter of age differences, we thought maybe things will change. Idk.)
Question:
Sometimes when I want to talk to him, I feel like I think it would be awkward to go and talk to him. I want to talk to him, but I don’t want to come off as a psycho-stalker-ex girlfriend. I don’t want to come off as if I don’t even care about his existence by giving him space, either.
I saw him for the first month after we broke up because of band, and he would be the one that would usually say something first, and it was pretty normal. Then we went on winter break, so I didn’t see him for a month, until today. I called him on Christmas to wish him a Merry Christmas, and also as a way to let him know that I still want to continue talking and being friends. We didn’t acknowledge each other’s presence today though. I guess there wasn’t really time, but if I would have had the guts, I guess I could have said hi before class- I’m just really scared that he’ll think I’m like chasing him, but I don’t want to ignore him either. I know those are both extremes, but for some reason it feels like those are the only two ways things can be, even though I know there is something in between.
Q:So, what can I do to just make things feel normal again?
A: Just go up to him and talk to him! - Oh, if only things were that easy. There’s a reason why I think I feel somewhat awkward around him.
It’s essential to read this part to understand why things are weird. Without this part, my question just seems really lame, stupid, and simple.
I had a “boyfriend” in high school for 2 months. We held hands, big deal. I don’t really consider him as a boyfriend anymore. So, this guy was my first “real” boyfriend.
He’s had like nine “girlfriends” in his lifetime. (I think) He’s 22, so I guess that’s normal.
Obviously I don’t let myself fall for anyone very easily. But this was different...it hit me like a garbage truck...or something big, along those lines...
Alright. There are two reasons for the awkwardness:
Reason #1. He told me he loved me. (Two months of dating, I know what you’re thinking: “omgzzz, you’re stupid, you can’t fall in love that quick.” That’s what I thought, but I was wrong.) He said he’d never said that to anyone before. He said it took him usually four months of knowing a girl to even start liking them. He said I had something that all the other girls he’s dated didn’t have. I don’t know what it is, but I guess I have “it.” Considering all of this, and knowing he had had more experience in life than me, I believed him. I’ve never met someone who I’ve felt like I’ve known for longer than I’ve known them. I’ve never met anyone like him- I didn’t know people like him existed- he’s just, awesome. I got this amazing feeling everytime I saw him, everytime we hugged, everytime I thought about him, that I had never felt before. Assuming these were feelings of love, I said I loved him too.
I’ve always thought you can fall in love once in your life. I still think this is true. I think if it’s love for real, it doesn’t matter how quickly it happens. One day, before he said it, he asked me randomly, “how long do you think it takes for someone to fall in love with someone?” I was kind of, shocked in way I guess, but I said “if it’s real love, I don’t think there’s a time limit.”
Reason #2. We did stuff. Not “all the way” if that’s what your thinking. (This is quite strange to be telling strangers about my love life like this, but, anyways) And no, I’m not a skank. I’m like the total and complete opposite of a skank. I swear, I’m like a nun. We madeout like whoa in the nude a lot,and a little more, and I would spend the night at his house often. (I have this huge fear of public nudity, so I don’t even know how I accomplished this) I asked him if he had ever engaged in this sort of activity and he said with three girls before me, but he said he went further each time, and so the farthest he's gone was with me, who has been no where, up until now. If I was to tell my friends or family this, they wouldn’t believe me, at all. If my parents found this out, they would probably disown me, if they would even believe it in the first place.
When he broke up with me, he said he meant everything he had said. He also said he felt bad about what we did because he knew how ‘prude’ I was prior to me meeting him. I told him it was my choice, and that he didn’t make me do anything. I told him I was mad at myself for letting things fall apart, and he said he’d rather have me hate him than hate myself. I told him I didn’t hate him, but that I loved him. (I don’t remember how he responded to that) And I still feel the same way about him. I really think it was love. (I know what you’re thinking, “what a drama queen.” It’s not like me to think like this, but like they say “if it isn’t madness, it isn’t love.”)
So my final question is:
How do you talk to someone who has told you they love you, and who has seen you naked, and still be normal about it?
Ha.
Thanks!!