Mom or Dad?
All my life I have basically lived with my mom. It has been a very self-sufficient and independent life with little guidance, for my mom likes to pay more attention to men and their children in her own for her purist of “love”. Consequently I have always been told to help raise my brother (and did a lot of it); I have a lot of responsibilities and figuring out life for myself, my mom even treats me like I’m her parent.
I am 17 now, being the adult now is only irritating because on both sides (mom and dad) have told me that I have to be the adult at my moms (because she acts like such a teenager… which has made mine a little bit of a drag I admit).
But I’m proud and think I’m pretty awesome for just figuring myself with little guidance.
Recent problem below
Recent problem…
My mom has been seeing this guy for a while(not “dating” just saying I love you and cuddling and letting him stay over all the time). To a point where she would leave "for coffee" and come back around 1-6am. I would have to call her so that she would come home before my little brother knew that she was gone and freak out. Sometimes all I could’ve known that this creepy (even my friends say so) guy could’ve killed her.
Then he left her to go back to his ex-fiancée and became fiancées again. Hurting my mom so much that she just looked miserable, wrote letter all the time, stopped being a mom even more so I had to pick up the slack more...she just wasn't the same person anymore and after that I had a serious problem with this guy.
Meanwhile she is still seeing this guy (despite the drama and the fact that the fiancée doesn’t know about her) still saying “I love you” and he would be still coming over, and they would go out to eat still. Two weeks later the fiancée breaks up with him again, realizing that he is still a loser (duh). Suicidal and desperate he goes to my moms and stay about every night. Being a 17 girl with no door knob in a house with a creepy strange man who is suicidal (aka crazy and attention whore) and who might endanger me and my brother I respectfully and repeatedly ask my mom to have him leave. Mom says no a couple times so I have to leave my own home and stay with a neighbor, so he can get whatever comfort he needs.
Now whenever I see him (mom tries to sneak him in, but I have convinced her to not have him over the night while I’m there so they leave around 12 or so) I cannot sleep, even when he isn't there. I just get so stressed out about her and how yet again she is doing this to me and my life so I just cannot sleep. I have so much anxiety that I don’t feel safe there anymore and have to confide in my room.
My dad wants me to live with him, but I really do not feel safe there either. His house is the completely opposite than my moms, I’m expected to follow the orders and rules (like never date, you can’t really have friends or different opinions), he’s usually unhappy and harsh, making me feel unwelcomed. Not like I deserve it, I’m a clean and great responsible kid. Though he wants me to be the child I never was or (even by him) had a chance or was taught to be. I don't know HOW to be a child anymore. I have step siblings that just are begging to leave there as soon as they can but it’s frustrating and I’m not sure which situation is worse.
Feeling unsafe at my moms because of crazy guys, but having the freedom to have my views.
Or feeling unsafe and confined, inexpressible, and having to live a total different life (with harsh treatment whether I do or don’t).
Who do I live with?
I am 17 now, being the adult now is only irritating because on both sides (mom and dad) have told me that I have to be the adult at my moms (because she acts like such a teenager… which has made mine a little bit of a drag I admit).
But I’m proud and think I’m pretty awesome for just figuring myself with little guidance.
Recent problem below
Recent problem…
My mom has been seeing this guy for a while(not “dating” just saying I love you and cuddling and letting him stay over all the time). To a point where she would leave "for coffee" and come back around 1-6am. I would have to call her so that she would come home before my little brother knew that she was gone and freak out. Sometimes all I could’ve known that this creepy (even my friends say so) guy could’ve killed her.
Then he left her to go back to his ex-fiancée and became fiancées again. Hurting my mom so much that she just looked miserable, wrote letter all the time, stopped being a mom even more so I had to pick up the slack more...she just wasn't the same person anymore and after that I had a serious problem with this guy.
Meanwhile she is still seeing this guy (despite the drama and the fact that the fiancée doesn’t know about her) still saying “I love you” and he would be still coming over, and they would go out to eat still. Two weeks later the fiancée breaks up with him again, realizing that he is still a loser (duh). Suicidal and desperate he goes to my moms and stay about every night. Being a 17 girl with no door knob in a house with a creepy strange man who is suicidal (aka crazy and attention whore) and who might endanger me and my brother I respectfully and repeatedly ask my mom to have him leave. Mom says no a couple times so I have to leave my own home and stay with a neighbor, so he can get whatever comfort he needs.
Now whenever I see him (mom tries to sneak him in, but I have convinced her to not have him over the night while I’m there so they leave around 12 or so) I cannot sleep, even when he isn't there. I just get so stressed out about her and how yet again she is doing this to me and my life so I just cannot sleep. I have so much anxiety that I don’t feel safe there anymore and have to confide in my room.
My dad wants me to live with him, but I really do not feel safe there either. His house is the completely opposite than my moms, I’m expected to follow the orders and rules (like never date, you can’t really have friends or different opinions), he’s usually unhappy and harsh, making me feel unwelcomed. Not like I deserve it, I’m a clean and great responsible kid. Though he wants me to be the child I never was or (even by him) had a chance or was taught to be. I don't know HOW to be a child anymore. I have step siblings that just are begging to leave there as soon as they can but it’s frustrating and I’m not sure which situation is worse.
Feeling unsafe at my moms because of crazy guys, but having the freedom to have my views.
Or feeling unsafe and confined, inexpressible, and having to live a total different life (with harsh treatment whether I do or don’t).
Who do I live with?