She had visited once before he woke up but watching him unconscious had not eased her of her worries.Plus, it kind of made her feel like a creepy stalker. With a few of his books in her arms, she made her way over to the clinic, slightly nervous. There were a few things that had been plaguing her thoughts but she didn't realise want to disturb his recovery.
Reaching the door to Neji's clinic room, Hinata tentatively knocked.
Lounging uncomfortably, each position was as unsuitable as the next, and the vertebrae along his spin cricked several times. The information he was receiving only served to agitate him further, but it wasn't something that could really be put off for the sake of someone's mental recovery. In a sense, it gave him something else to think about- other than the possible outcomes and fault of their 'raid' on Sasori's house.
The knock was a welcome interruption, and he was relieved that Hinata was able to make it in before his own sensei. It was her by that soft, demure approach, he knew, and shifting into a not-as-comfortable position, cleared his throat and called her in; attempting to look as uninjured as possible in the meantime.
She entered the room, hugging the books to her chest. She looked at him contemplatively from the doorway. He looked somewhat better than what she had last seen him. Still...
"How are y-you feeling?" she approached his bed timidly, worry evident on her face. "I b-brought you some b-books like you asked..."
Neji nodded, gesturing loosely for her to step in further. Those books were likely going to save his sanity for as long as he remained there.
"I'm doing considerably better than I had been when I first arrived here, surely." A non-answer that wasn't a lie, but ultimately irrelevant to the purpose of her inquiry. "Thank you, Hinata-sama."
His evasion of her question hadn't gone unnoticed. Perhaps he wasn't as well as he seemed? Reaching his bedside, she carefully placed the books on the side of his bed.
"If t-there is anything else you n-need, please don't h-hesitate to ask me." She paused, wondering whether to voice the thing that had been bothering her.
"T-There was something I w-wanted to ask you...." Might as well get it over with.
In truth, if word has spread that he'd suddenly wound up in the clinic, then it was likely Hinata knew about the retrieval attempt and her lack of notification. But still, there was the smallest chance it wasn't what she was referencing, and so he'd refrain from mentioning it unless asked directly. Neji expected the question to come, but still hadn't prepared a justified reason.
"Of course, Hinata-sama," He said neutrally, looking up at her. "What do you need to know?"
She was sure that Neji, had a good reason for choosing to exclude her from the retrieval attempt. A while ago, she might have just accepted the decisions without protest. Now was different.
"The r-raid...I heard that you w-were the one that chose w-who went on it and w-well..." she let her sentence trail off there, not certain that she'd want to hear the answer.
The faint smile held for the sake of appearances faded into a grave seriousness and contemplation. Of course she would wonder why he left her out. She was a Chuunin, and so were Sakura and Tenten, and they were 'allowed' to see the filter. He knew what this was about and guilt weighed heavily in his stomach as he sought for an answer she might be reassured with.
Neji looked down at his legs and sighed, raising a bandaged hand to massage his temple. "I didn't want to involve you." He said cautiously, "It was a high-risk operation. It's the same reason I forbade Lee from coming with us. It's enough like this, but it'd be even more difficult to live with the knowledge that I led either of you into it if anything happened."
"On that mission... I was leading even those that weren't from Konoha. The outcome is inevitably my responsibility."
The answer didn't really satisfy her. Sure, she wasn't as strong as the others but she definitely would've been able to help. Including Lee in the equation didn't really help. Thinking about it, the people he left out were other too rash or too weak...
She quickly cleared away any expression of doubt that may have appeared on her face. She didn't want to press him too hard, he was still recovering after all. Perhaps she'd ask him about it another time. Probably not though.
Fiddling with the hem of her sleeve, she responded, "But it w-was their choice on whether to p-participate or not. No one d-died so you don't have to f-feel responsible for a-anything."
"Hinata-sama," Neji started haltingly, then paused, unsure of what he was going to finish that statement with. He frowned, uncertain. "We are fortunate there were no fatalities, but Hidan's rampage is possibly a result of the conflict. I've been informed that he's killing innocents."
No one died under his direction, and the mission was a success. That was an overwhelming relief to his consciousness, but if the reason behind Hidan's sudden killing spree was spurred by their actions... It wasn't a direct result, but it was close enough.
"I don't think you're weak, Hinata-sama." He said finally; resigned and distracted. "I apologize if my silence led you to believe that."
She listened as he seemed to blame himself for Hidan's actions. "Is that s-so...he didn't seem all that b-bad when I talked to h-him," she mumbled the last bit under her breath, "I t-think you're just speculating, don't blame yourself for t-these things."
She was slightly startled at his last statement but quickly recovered, offering him a small smile. It was strange how that seemed to clear her of most of her doubts. Probably because she knew Neji wasn't one to lie. "Ah, it's a-alright. Just please, don't k-keep these things from me in f-future okay?"
Neji's frown deepened as he deciphered Hinata's muttering. She had spoken with Hidan? He supposed he couldn't sincerely tell her who she could and couldn't talk to as much as it would relieve him to be able to do so. She seemed to take his sentiments to heart, however, and looked a little more at ease.
He raised a trembling hand to touch her arm lightly. "Perhaps. Regardless, I'll attempt to include you in things from now on." Safe things, anyway, because despite her wishes, he'd keep her as safe as possible. There were too many threats.
Reaching the door to Neji's clinic room, Hinata tentatively knocked.
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The knock was a welcome interruption, and he was relieved that Hinata was able to make it in before his own sensei. It was her by that soft, demure approach, he knew, and shifting into a not-as-comfortable position, cleared his throat and called her in; attempting to look as uninjured as possible in the meantime.
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"How are y-you feeling?" she approached his bed timidly, worry evident on her face. "I b-brought you some b-books like you asked..."
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"I'm doing considerably better than I had been when I first arrived here, surely." A non-answer that wasn't a lie, but ultimately irrelevant to the purpose of her inquiry. "Thank you, Hinata-sama."
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"If t-there is anything else you n-need, please don't h-hesitate to ask me." She paused, wondering whether to voice the thing that had been bothering her.
"T-There was something I w-wanted to ask you...." Might as well get it over with.
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"Of course, Hinata-sama," He said neutrally, looking up at her. "What do you need to know?"
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"The r-raid...I heard that you w-were the one that chose w-who went on it and w-well..." she let her sentence trail off there, not certain that she'd want to hear the answer.
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Neji looked down at his legs and sighed, raising a bandaged hand to massage his temple. "I didn't want to involve you." He said cautiously, "It was a high-risk operation. It's the same reason I forbade Lee from coming with us. It's enough like this, but it'd be even more difficult to live with the knowledge that I led either of you into it if anything happened."
"On that mission... I was leading even those that weren't from Konoha. The outcome is inevitably my responsibility."
Reply
She quickly cleared away any expression of doubt that may have appeared on her face. She didn't want to press him too hard, he was still recovering after all. Perhaps she'd ask him about it another time. Probably not though.
Fiddling with the hem of her sleeve, she responded, "But it w-was their choice on whether to p-participate or not. No one d-died so you don't have to f-feel responsible for a-anything."
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No one died under his direction, and the mission was a success. That was an overwhelming relief to his consciousness, but if the reason behind Hidan's sudden killing spree was spurred by their actions... It wasn't a direct result, but it was close enough.
"I don't think you're weak, Hinata-sama." He said finally; resigned and distracted. "I apologize if my silence led you to believe that."
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She was slightly startled at his last statement but quickly recovered, offering him a small smile. It was strange how that seemed to clear her of most of her doubts. Probably because she knew Neji wasn't one to lie. "Ah, it's a-alright. Just please, don't k-keep these things from me in f-future okay?"
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He raised a trembling hand to touch her arm lightly. "Perhaps. Regardless, I'll attempt to include you in things from now on." Safe things, anyway, because despite her wishes, he'd keep her as safe as possible. There were too many threats.
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