today my sculpture which i loved got thrashed at critique. i'll bounce back up eventually but, fuck.

it didn't get much better, printing today was a nightmare. the film place has temporarily misplaced my square format film, but at least i have my 35mm to work with. i went to the dark room to work this afternoon; this afternoon, this beautiful spring afternoon, i was in the dark in the lab in the metal and fluorescent light instead of out there ( Read more... )

i got the big envelope! i have never been so excited about nyu before, even though i already know beforehand that i got an offer, flipping through the pages and pages of pictures and details is just so exciting... and terrifying. i want nothing more this moment than to hear from moe, hear them tell me they want me. i'll be so good for them, i know ( Read more... )

the a level results come out on friday. whenever i think about it, i stop thinking. does anyone get that? a black hole opens up in my head and my heart and sucks the good feeling out of me. there is this dread, first of anything less than four a's, and then of anything worse than my dreamed-up score of aabc. there is no use in worrying, but it's ( Read more... )

life is fucking fragile. if tomorrow i get run over by a car while crossing the road half-asleep, my new old camera goes to jia, all my money and all my love goes to my parents and grandparents, my clothes to claire, my comics and picture books to fo, my diaries to qian, my laptop, new adobe cs4 set and all the photographs i have yet to put up to ( Read more... )