How Long
Will I loose another beloved dog before my baby is born? My Shiloh is gone and now my Sircle is having her own health problems. Her right front paw and joints were swollen and she was limping for a week so we took her to the vet. They took x-rays and found possible osteosarcoma or aggressive bone cancer in her front right shoulder. They want to do a biopsy, amputate the limb then treat her with chemo and pain meds... unfortunately, even with amputation and chemo, her prognosis is dim. 4-5 months at worst and 1 year at best. Also paying for her surgery, biopsy, chemo and medications will be very difficult and unfortunately does have to play a role in our decisions about what we are going to do for her. It is dreadfully hard to have elderly dogs...
I was reading a blog of a lady who did everything she could to help her dog who had osteosarcoma; amputation, chemo, meds, natural herbs, diet... Despite everything the cancer spread into the dogs lungs and she eventually had to be put down. At the end of her emotional post she said, "How long do dogs live? They live forever." I lost control of my own emotions with this line... I had a good long cry. Tears are still swelling in my eyes. Sircle has always been so vital, strong, and healthy, I never expected something like this to overcome her.
I am facing so much death and deterioration right now. Not just with my dogs. I am still getting used to my own health problems. It's hard to accept that you have a chronic, incurable disease. Also the fact that they still don't know if I have type 1 or type 2 diabetes is frustrating because they are different in severity and prognosis. I can live a long time with diabetes but it does decrease my life expectancy and there are complications which can occur... it's all very scary.
My mother is not doing great, I want her to at least make it to meet her grandson but her will to live and her condition seem to be going down hill... as much as I want to deny it, she may very well die very soon. My Grandfather is 80 and he still tries very hard to live normally but he suffered a minor heart attack last month and he has taken some pretty bad falls this last year. He won't drive anymore and has no stamina to work on his projects like he always used to. I think he still has some good years left but it's difficult to see him changing. Josh's side of the family are having some hard times too. His paternal grandmother died recently which was sad and shocking for him. Also his maternal aunt is struggling with cancer. Last we heard she was doing a lot better and all we can do is hope and pray that she continues to heal.
Sometimes I feel like having this baby is a race against the time some of my loved ones have left. I want so badly to share this experience in my life with those who have nurtured me as I grew up. It feels like a duty, a way to show them that their legacy has been extended, but I find myself wondering... will they make it that long? If they make it to the birth at least, how long will they get to know my baby and to see him grow up? In some ways I feel guilty that I waited so long to get married and start a family. I have to remember I am only 25... but it feels so urgent right now. I wish I could have brought a child into the world when conditions were more stable and everyone could relax and enjoy this event. I do believe that things happen when they are supposed to happen so even if some loved ones do not get to see my son grow up, at least they know about him and hopefully they will meet him, if even for a short time.
I was reading a blog of a lady who did everything she could to help her dog who had osteosarcoma; amputation, chemo, meds, natural herbs, diet... Despite everything the cancer spread into the dogs lungs and she eventually had to be put down. At the end of her emotional post she said, "How long do dogs live? They live forever." I lost control of my own emotions with this line... I had a good long cry. Tears are still swelling in my eyes. Sircle has always been so vital, strong, and healthy, I never expected something like this to overcome her.
I am facing so much death and deterioration right now. Not just with my dogs. I am still getting used to my own health problems. It's hard to accept that you have a chronic, incurable disease. Also the fact that they still don't know if I have type 1 or type 2 diabetes is frustrating because they are different in severity and prognosis. I can live a long time with diabetes but it does decrease my life expectancy and there are complications which can occur... it's all very scary.
My mother is not doing great, I want her to at least make it to meet her grandson but her will to live and her condition seem to be going down hill... as much as I want to deny it, she may very well die very soon. My Grandfather is 80 and he still tries very hard to live normally but he suffered a minor heart attack last month and he has taken some pretty bad falls this last year. He won't drive anymore and has no stamina to work on his projects like he always used to. I think he still has some good years left but it's difficult to see him changing. Josh's side of the family are having some hard times too. His paternal grandmother died recently which was sad and shocking for him. Also his maternal aunt is struggling with cancer. Last we heard she was doing a lot better and all we can do is hope and pray that she continues to heal.
Sometimes I feel like having this baby is a race against the time some of my loved ones have left. I want so badly to share this experience in my life with those who have nurtured me as I grew up. It feels like a duty, a way to show them that their legacy has been extended, but I find myself wondering... will they make it that long? If they make it to the birth at least, how long will they get to know my baby and to see him grow up? In some ways I feel guilty that I waited so long to get married and start a family. I have to remember I am only 25... but it feels so urgent right now. I wish I could have brought a child into the world when conditions were more stable and everyone could relax and enjoy this event. I do believe that things happen when they are supposed to happen so even if some loved ones do not get to see my son grow up, at least they know about him and hopefully they will meet him, if even for a short time.