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[adorabl3_]

I'm Kristyn. My eyes change colors, which basically parallels my inability to stick to one thought. I change my mind more times than I can count. I've grown up in so many ways, but it has taken many lessons to learn what I have in my last 4 years of high school- and throughout my life. Looking back on everything that has happened to me, I know it could have all been worse, I even feel like a drama queen. But I'm pretty vulnerable, and it hurts when I let someone down. I don't even know my sexual preferences, really. I've connected with girls all of my life, but never knew that I would actually become gay. I honestly think that all the stereotypes are stupid, I mean, does love even really need a gender? Some people just have a natural connection and things happen. Does it all really matter? The world is so cruel when it comes to lifestyles and diversity. Not many people are willing to let everyone in. And it disgusts me, but I still hide myself. I'm pretty insecure. No one knows that, but I've been working on that since I was little. I've finally found myself, though. I can't say that I don't care what people think of me, but I finally know who I need in my life...and those who will be by my side through anything. Anyways, I play soccer and love it. My favorite color is green cause it's friendly and bright. Whenever I see anything green I get really happy. It's basically a miracle that a color can affect me like that, but who knows- I'm a weirdo. I love to sing. It's probably my favorite thing to do...when I actually try, and when I don't. I am a huge flirt. I know I am, and I know I'm a tease, and I honestly can't help it. Maybe it's part of my insecurities... I don't know. But when I get nervous around people I get funny, act like a smart ass and flirt. I'm not as flawless as you may think. Recently I've been lazy, but that is completely out of character. I love being active... dancing, running, playing sports, anything to get myself into shape. I used to be a really really good runner, I probably would have had scholarship potential if I had continued...But i stopped. And now, I kind of regret ever quitting. I guess running just drove me crazy, cause as much as I loved being successful in it, I hated getting tired. Haha. I don't even think that makes sense, but it came with so many injuries and doing all that in college would have been difficult. As I continue to write off track...Let's get back on board. ha. I love music, anything really. It keeps me sane. I never stop listening to it, except at school. It's one of my pet peeves when NOTHING is playing on the radio and it's all talk. Ah, I can't stand that. I get sad a lot, but I hide my feelings really well, and no one can tell. Sometimes I just don't want to talk about it...that usually makes it worse cause I think about it more. I have loved once before, and as happy as it made me, the ending crushed me. I've never been that upset in my entire life. And as a result of that, I lost more than you could imagine. We don't talk anymore- cause I can't stand to look at her, or listen to her voice. Everything makes it harder. I want what I can't have, always. And I think the loss of love for the first time really fucked me up for the next few people that came along. I definitely liked all of them, but I was unable to give myself away a second time. I think as much as I'm scared of getting hurt, I'm scared of losing her forever too. I know what I have to do, and I know what's right- but that doesn't make it easier. I usually don't do what I should do anyways. I'm scared to upset everyone else because I can't love again. I know that I'll be able to eventually, and maybe I need something to kick start that. But pieces of my heart really have been taken from me, and I doubt I'll ever get them back. I'm such a hopeless romantic. Besides love, I have the most amazing family. I love them so much. My brother and I get along really well, and I can't imagine my life without him. I worry about him a lot actually, I don't want him to get into anything stupid, I want him to be successful...I want him to be smart and happy. I don't want him to mess up, or make the mistakes I have in the past. And my mom and dad, well they have helped me become who I am today. They don't pressure me into ideals for religion or about the future. They've let me live independently, so that I can become who I want to be, and not to what the common stereotypes are. I really like that about them. So, I wish I was a hippie. I mean, I don't really like drugs but I think that the ideals are so awesome and if I was a bad ass I would be in the peace corps. I think I ask a lot of people and that's why I get disappointed a lot. I take most things you say to me to heart, and try to believe the best in people, which could cause me to get hurt or just a misrepresentation, but I like to see it as- you're innocent until proven guilty. I am a headstrong liberal, but I also would say I'm independent too. If I like a republican rep, then hey MAYYYBEEE. But it's gonna take a lot of persuasion. I would consider myself a really nice person... sometimes too nice. I'm not really a bitch unless I have to be, and if I don't have to be then I'm usually kidding. My sarcasm is hard to perceive. I've tried to live for years in the present but it's a bummer it never works cause I think a lot about the past AND the future. I trust very few people. The little kid stuff- I love koalas. I mean, I've never met one but they seem pretty cool and cute. All furry and clingy and eating leaves. HOW ADORABLE?!?! I want to live on the ocean when I'm older- so I better have a hell of a good job. I'm a good speaker and like presenting ideas to people. I love bandanas, even if I look silly in them. I hate being cold and greasy hair. I can be really blunt but I usually smile with it so people don't take me seriously half the time. I love being funny and laughing. If you asked me a huge turn on... it's definitely someone who can make me laugh, and if i'm barely-breathing-laughing then you get more points. I hate people who aren't thankful for what they have, or who brag about money. I DON'T CARE! That will just lower you in my eyes. Money can't buy happiness and so many people struggle to understand that. I want to travel the world. I hate being alone. I wish I had awesome abs. I love orange soda. I laugh at myself all the time. I like imitating people and funny things. I am a really deep person, but that's hard to see. If you look deeper you'd see that I am more than you ever expected. I am unique and I won't see through you.

Klare- I don't tell you enough but I really appreciate everything you have done for me. I know I don't say it enough, but you're one of my best friends and at this point it would be way too hard to live without you. I know I have hurt you in the past and you have to realize I'm sorry. My feelings are just all too complicated to explain. You're amazing though, and so fun to be around. I love when you call me and we talk for hours, it's great- Cause I know you really care about me. I know that you want to learn new things about me and that really is important to me as well. You see past all my imperfections and just like me for who I am. I won't let you down. You're just TOO great. I'm sorry things didn't exactly work out between us, I know it's my fault. But I was scared and I still am. We'll see what happens in the future, but for now- I'm just glad I still have you. Remember I'm always here for you too.