Pulling My Hair Back
I am attempting to grow my hair out to maximum length! What does that mean? I don't know...maybe as long as I can stand it. Here is what it looks like so far:
Hair
I grew weary of hair in my face, and so I pulled an old trick out of a bag. I bought a hair band, and I push it back. I actually like how it looks, but more importantly, I like how it feels. I also feel comfortable enough with myself to not feel attacked when multiples upon multiples of people either laugh or say something like..."You know, girls usually wear those..." Upon which I responded, "Oh my goodness! I didn't realize that! I'm so glad you told me!"
Don't get me wrong. I love those friends and am glad they are willing to speak the obvious to me, especially when I can't see the obvious.
Being someone who has a few insecurities of differing levels, it could be easy for me to become offended by these statements or allow Satan to make me feel even more foolish and stupid. But for some odd reason, I'm okay with looking like a fool. If anything, it shows how much other people care about what we're supposed to look like. Who knows... Maybe by wearing my hair in a hair band, I'm actually helping some little junior high kid with self-esteem issues, giving them someone to look to with strength in this area.
Depression
Since I stepped down from doing the internship, I have been attacked by spirits of depression. Not having a job right now only feeds that. As I start to see my life in God's eyes, the depression falls. I'm going to have the opportunity to get out of debt and save for a home by not taking the internship. I will be able to wait until I'm at a more mature stage in life before I begin it, allowing me to grow in God's timing and to prepare myself for what's to come.
Youth Ministries
I volunteer at church by leading a sixth grade boys youth group. Andrew and I have about 7 boys in our group, and they are average sixth graders. I was getting awfully worn out because I didn't feel like they were learning anything due to their high levels of energy. I just had to give it to God, and I realized that it is more important for me to be a male role model in their life, who loves God and accepts them where they are. Since that revelation, I have felt much less stressed out during our group. I also feel like I care for the boys more.
There are also fine lines that we must draw when it comes to leading other people's kids. One of the calls on my life is to minister and reach out to a wide diversity of people, which includes a community other than just young adults. I thrive when I'm mixed with people who are not only my age. I have the desire to nurture and be an older brother to some of the kids in the high school youth group because I didn't have a supportive father or brother at home. My intentions with these kids are pure and full of love, but people may not view it in that manner.
Parents may get upset that a 23 year old is getting a little too chummy with their children, when I feel like I can relate to them and their parents in a healthy way. Others may just happen to glance at one instance and assume that I have foul intentions with these teens. The teens themselves may start to have feelings for me due to the closeness of our friendship, which is something I don't want to put on their plate.
I'm a youth group leader, and that should come before me being a friend to them. I'm not at the same place in life they are, and I love that...but I'm supposed to not enjoy it. I'm just feeling beat up and worn out. Please keep me in your prayers as I transition into the next stage of life.
Psalms 37:34
Wait passionately for God, don't leave the path. He'll give you your place in the sun while you watch the wicked lose it.
Hair
I grew weary of hair in my face, and so I pulled an old trick out of a bag. I bought a hair band, and I push it back. I actually like how it looks, but more importantly, I like how it feels. I also feel comfortable enough with myself to not feel attacked when multiples upon multiples of people either laugh or say something like..."You know, girls usually wear those..." Upon which I responded, "Oh my goodness! I didn't realize that! I'm so glad you told me!"
Don't get me wrong. I love those friends and am glad they are willing to speak the obvious to me, especially when I can't see the obvious.
Being someone who has a few insecurities of differing levels, it could be easy for me to become offended by these statements or allow Satan to make me feel even more foolish and stupid. But for some odd reason, I'm okay with looking like a fool. If anything, it shows how much other people care about what we're supposed to look like. Who knows... Maybe by wearing my hair in a hair band, I'm actually helping some little junior high kid with self-esteem issues, giving them someone to look to with strength in this area.
Depression
Since I stepped down from doing the internship, I have been attacked by spirits of depression. Not having a job right now only feeds that. As I start to see my life in God's eyes, the depression falls. I'm going to have the opportunity to get out of debt and save for a home by not taking the internship. I will be able to wait until I'm at a more mature stage in life before I begin it, allowing me to grow in God's timing and to prepare myself for what's to come.
Youth Ministries
I volunteer at church by leading a sixth grade boys youth group. Andrew and I have about 7 boys in our group, and they are average sixth graders. I was getting awfully worn out because I didn't feel like they were learning anything due to their high levels of energy. I just had to give it to God, and I realized that it is more important for me to be a male role model in their life, who loves God and accepts them where they are. Since that revelation, I have felt much less stressed out during our group. I also feel like I care for the boys more.
There are also fine lines that we must draw when it comes to leading other people's kids. One of the calls on my life is to minister and reach out to a wide diversity of people, which includes a community other than just young adults. I thrive when I'm mixed with people who are not only my age. I have the desire to nurture and be an older brother to some of the kids in the high school youth group because I didn't have a supportive father or brother at home. My intentions with these kids are pure and full of love, but people may not view it in that manner.
Parents may get upset that a 23 year old is getting a little too chummy with their children, when I feel like I can relate to them and their parents in a healthy way. Others may just happen to glance at one instance and assume that I have foul intentions with these teens. The teens themselves may start to have feelings for me due to the closeness of our friendship, which is something I don't want to put on their plate.
I'm a youth group leader, and that should come before me being a friend to them. I'm not at the same place in life they are, and I love that...but I'm supposed to not enjoy it. I'm just feeling beat up and worn out. Please keep me in your prayers as I transition into the next stage of life.
Psalms 37:34
Wait passionately for God, don't leave the path. He'll give you your place in the sun while you watch the wicked lose it.