Back From The Darkness...
The rumors of my death are, as always, exaggerated. However, the rumors of my inconsistency and inconsiderateness are, as always, confirmed.
I'm afraid that I've been rather terrible at denoting my life because, as happens on occasion, I'm involved in a deep period of introspection. I've been looking within a lot recently, and making changes to my life in order to try and make it something that I can look back at and say "Hey, that's a damn great life - I'm so glad that I was there." Minor adjustments to make myself stronger and happier physically, mentally and spiritually. Or at least, as much of each as I can at a time.
And as I work on myself in this "burst of energy" fashion, I am amazed at how limited mankind really is. Not by our potential, or our thoughts and dreams, or by our desire and drive. But by time. Not only are we given these few 70 years to live, but we are given only 24 hours in our day. Our bodies need to rest of nearly a third of that time, and the rest is spent in a mad rush to try and complete everything we can. If I were given the time, I would go to work for my 8 hours, and then try to connect with at least someone of the many collections of the friends I cherish. But when I get home, I oft have enough energy and time to lie down, read and then start a new cycle. There's never enough time in the day...and knowing this, I chose to be a nut job and incorporate new friends into my life.
How fortunate, yet insane, of me.
As a matter of fact, this change in my life is the cause of my great introspection, as well as a dramatic change in my fortunes. It's the first step forward I've taken in a long god damned time.
It all started a few weeks ago, after a camping trip. The Oracle asked me to attend an audition for the St. John's Players. From that audition, I have discovered several rather exciting things. First, and most notable, the young people of Berkshire County aren't just gone. Sure, many of my old and most loyal companions have joined the communities of lands beyond our home, but there are people, my age even, who are still here.
And they're geeks. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that they're geeks. I've talked about conventions, and anime, and other foolishness without being looked at weird. I'm even a bit of an uber amongst their ranks, as I have confounded even their most brilliant with my vast repository of uselessness.
As a result of my audition, I also have a role as one of two comic relief characters in the tale. It's a part that allows me to be an utter fool, as well as giving me an unusual amount of singing solos. I've not acted in a long time, and not sung in public for even longer. And as it is a small, amateur group, if I fuck it up, it won't be as big a deal. My only problem with this development is that I'm expected to be in the Great North more often. Which is a bitch...100 miles a day round trip is nothing to sneeze at. But, I am enjoying myself. I can't say that's not true.
And then, there's the other development that caught me completely by surprise: I met a girl.
Her name is Cassie. And she's quite unlike anyone I've spent time with before. There's something supernatural about what I feel about her. Her beauty is not traditional, and yet a look from her she stirs my soul. When I spend time with her, there's a tingle in the air. I feel a contentment all around my...not just within myself, but outside me too. She often leaves me speechless (which many folks know is hard to achieve with me). And she seems to be fond of me with an intensity that I've not felt since Tia. But it's a different kind of fondness...it's hard to describe. It give me a lightness to my step that I've been lacking.
Sure, it's a young relationship, and anything could still happen...but that's what give it that spark. That, and there's always the hope that this one might just be the one.
So, that's the bulk of my big news. These rapid changes in my life space have also had me considering a whole lot of spiritual matters, and I've felt reaffirmed. It's nice when your Willpower Pool goes back up to full...or even better, may have gained another point.
Which brings me to the quiz that I stole from Ted...funny how good these things are:
Your Score: The Mystic
You scored 10 Materialism and 100 Phenomenology!
You're a mystic, someone who's experienced God but found out He wasn't like in the brochure. You know first-hand what it's like to encounter the ineffable, but have a healthy distrust of organized religion, which you probably consider at best stufy and at worst an insult to true spiritual growth. If you aren't already, I'd recommend meditation exercises, or possibly yoga.
One day, maybe you'll find Nirvana. Until then, just remember not to get lost in your own head!
Thinkers you may agree with: St. Therese of Avila, Hassan I Sabah, Bahya ben Asher
Thinkers to challenge you: Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Sam Harris
Link: The Metaphysician Test written by Jaylhomme on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test
Now. If I only had the time I need...a few more hours in the day to spend with the BHF...and the Sunday Game Crew...And the HASOC Project...
But I'll keep on, one day at a time. Maybe some day, I'll have the time...after all, there's always tomorrow.
I'm afraid that I've been rather terrible at denoting my life because, as happens on occasion, I'm involved in a deep period of introspection. I've been looking within a lot recently, and making changes to my life in order to try and make it something that I can look back at and say "Hey, that's a damn great life - I'm so glad that I was there." Minor adjustments to make myself stronger and happier physically, mentally and spiritually. Or at least, as much of each as I can at a time.
And as I work on myself in this "burst of energy" fashion, I am amazed at how limited mankind really is. Not by our potential, or our thoughts and dreams, or by our desire and drive. But by time. Not only are we given these few 70 years to live, but we are given only 24 hours in our day. Our bodies need to rest of nearly a third of that time, and the rest is spent in a mad rush to try and complete everything we can. If I were given the time, I would go to work for my 8 hours, and then try to connect with at least someone of the many collections of the friends I cherish. But when I get home, I oft have enough energy and time to lie down, read and then start a new cycle. There's never enough time in the day...and knowing this, I chose to be a nut job and incorporate new friends into my life.
How fortunate, yet insane, of me.
As a matter of fact, this change in my life is the cause of my great introspection, as well as a dramatic change in my fortunes. It's the first step forward I've taken in a long god damned time.
It all started a few weeks ago, after a camping trip. The Oracle asked me to attend an audition for the St. John's Players. From that audition, I have discovered several rather exciting things. First, and most notable, the young people of Berkshire County aren't just gone. Sure, many of my old and most loyal companions have joined the communities of lands beyond our home, but there are people, my age even, who are still here.
And they're geeks. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that they're geeks. I've talked about conventions, and anime, and other foolishness without being looked at weird. I'm even a bit of an uber amongst their ranks, as I have confounded even their most brilliant with my vast repository of uselessness.
As a result of my audition, I also have a role as one of two comic relief characters in the tale. It's a part that allows me to be an utter fool, as well as giving me an unusual amount of singing solos. I've not acted in a long time, and not sung in public for even longer. And as it is a small, amateur group, if I fuck it up, it won't be as big a deal. My only problem with this development is that I'm expected to be in the Great North more often. Which is a bitch...100 miles a day round trip is nothing to sneeze at. But, I am enjoying myself. I can't say that's not true.
And then, there's the other development that caught me completely by surprise: I met a girl.
Her name is Cassie. And she's quite unlike anyone I've spent time with before. There's something supernatural about what I feel about her. Her beauty is not traditional, and yet a look from her she stirs my soul. When I spend time with her, there's a tingle in the air. I feel a contentment all around my...not just within myself, but outside me too. She often leaves me speechless (which many folks know is hard to achieve with me). And she seems to be fond of me with an intensity that I've not felt since Tia. But it's a different kind of fondness...it's hard to describe. It give me a lightness to my step that I've been lacking.
Sure, it's a young relationship, and anything could still happen...but that's what give it that spark. That, and there's always the hope that this one might just be the one.
So, that's the bulk of my big news. These rapid changes in my life space have also had me considering a whole lot of spiritual matters, and I've felt reaffirmed. It's nice when your Willpower Pool goes back up to full...or even better, may have gained another point.
Which brings me to the quiz that I stole from Ted...funny how good these things are:
Your Score: The Mystic
You scored 10 Materialism and 100 Phenomenology!
You're a mystic, someone who's experienced God but found out He wasn't like in the brochure. You know first-hand what it's like to encounter the ineffable, but have a healthy distrust of organized religion, which you probably consider at best stufy and at worst an insult to true spiritual growth. If you aren't already, I'd recommend meditation exercises, or possibly yoga.
One day, maybe you'll find Nirvana. Until then, just remember not to get lost in your own head!
Thinkers you may agree with: St. Therese of Avila, Hassan I Sabah, Bahya ben Asher
Thinkers to challenge you: Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Sam Harris
Link: The Metaphysician Test written by Jaylhomme on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test
Now. If I only had the time I need...a few more hours in the day to spend with the BHF...and the Sunday Game Crew...And the HASOC Project...
But I'll keep on, one day at a time. Maybe some day, I'll have the time...after all, there's always tomorrow.