Golden Wings, Golden Sun
The reports of my insanity are not overstated. However, the reports of my commitment are indeed exaggerated.
First of all, thank you everyone who reached out to me after my last posting. It makes a man's heart smile to know that he has good friends who wish him well. As for those of you who didn't get in touch...I don't blame you. You're probably tired of me bemoaning my state of mind, and would just love me to suck it up.
And in a way, I have.
To describe what happened to me the night of Tuesday, April 17, 2007 is not something that I do lightly, or in this case, at all. To describe what happened is to flirt with what others might call madness. The so-called "sane" mind cannot explain what happened to me otherwise...
I suppose I can make summery of the event. With the help of the Oracle, I undertook a spiritual healing known as Uncording. It's a very intense magic that removes the negative connections that two human beings create between each other, binding their minds, bodies and spirits to each other. In a spiritual space, as well as a mental one, I was still attached to Tia, and it was slowly driving me mad.
Which is not Tia's fault. It was time for us to move on - neither of us would have grown as we have in the few months between that cold December day and now if we hadn't. But letting go was very hard. It's difficult when a witch binds their soul to someone as tightly as Tia and I had bound ourselves to each other. Before the mind could move on, the soul needed repair and unbinding. With the help of a veritable arcology of celestial beings and dear friends and family, the cords that bound were removed.
And now, despite all sense...I feel better. I still think about Tia. Every day even. But it doesn't make me upset anymore. They're only memories, and it's hard to spend over 7 years in someone's existence (that's a whole lot of 23+ years I spent, thinking of her!) and not do that. But she's not burning away my soul. She's a fond memory. Someone that I shared my first relationship with. My first lover. And, I hope, always a dear friend. But the pain is gone. And I found myself wondering how she'd do with someone else to love...and not being scared.
That's huge for me.
Will I always feel the bright? Maybe, maybe not. But I do know one thing: I'm whole again. And so is she.
And the sun is out.
It's about time.
First of all, thank you everyone who reached out to me after my last posting. It makes a man's heart smile to know that he has good friends who wish him well. As for those of you who didn't get in touch...I don't blame you. You're probably tired of me bemoaning my state of mind, and would just love me to suck it up.
And in a way, I have.
To describe what happened to me the night of Tuesday, April 17, 2007 is not something that I do lightly, or in this case, at all. To describe what happened is to flirt with what others might call madness. The so-called "sane" mind cannot explain what happened to me otherwise...
I suppose I can make summery of the event. With the help of the Oracle, I undertook a spiritual healing known as Uncording. It's a very intense magic that removes the negative connections that two human beings create between each other, binding their minds, bodies and spirits to each other. In a spiritual space, as well as a mental one, I was still attached to Tia, and it was slowly driving me mad.
Which is not Tia's fault. It was time for us to move on - neither of us would have grown as we have in the few months between that cold December day and now if we hadn't. But letting go was very hard. It's difficult when a witch binds their soul to someone as tightly as Tia and I had bound ourselves to each other. Before the mind could move on, the soul needed repair and unbinding. With the help of a veritable arcology of celestial beings and dear friends and family, the cords that bound were removed.
And now, despite all sense...I feel better. I still think about Tia. Every day even. But it doesn't make me upset anymore. They're only memories, and it's hard to spend over 7 years in someone's existence (that's a whole lot of 23+ years I spent, thinking of her!) and not do that. But she's not burning away my soul. She's a fond memory. Someone that I shared my first relationship with. My first lover. And, I hope, always a dear friend. But the pain is gone. And I found myself wondering how she'd do with someone else to love...and not being scared.
That's huge for me.
Will I always feel the bright? Maybe, maybe not. But I do know one thing: I'm whole again. And so is she.
And the sun is out.
It's about time.