I'm not between you and your ambition.
I fight myself constantly to become the person I have to change.
the voice of time says to me it's time to make a choice.
To be satisfied with anything at all,
I have to deconstruct, surrender, and fall -
to recognize my malignancies
and maladjusted tendencies,
and the 'self indulgent habits' confederacy.
I have yet to grip my fist around this string,
and shut the door,
and forage through the blood on the floor,
to find the bone I must tear from my body,
because once I find it,
it won't be there anymore.
(I enjoyed writing this poem, because it's melancholy, but with a resigned determination.
now let's analyze the symbolism, because I for some reason doubt that anyone looks
into my poems so deeply. The string - recognizing the connection between my problems
and myself, as in, find the reasons I have them, and see if they're because of my behavior
or someone else's. Shut the door - Stopping the possibility of escape, and/or not letting
any more behaviors that I would disapprove of. Kind of like an ounce of prevention.
Blood on the floor - The emotion surrounding the experience/process of self growth
Bone - this is a play on a loose tooth. tie a string to your tooth, then the door, then
ouch. It won't be there anymore - once I've dealt with the problems relation to me,
the emotions caused by it, and disallowed myself from running away, I'll have no choice
but to deal with it because I refuse to live with something that makes me unhappy,
something that I understand, and something that I know how to stop. I wouldn't do that
That's just not the person I am.
the voice of time says to me it's time to make a choice.
To be satisfied with anything at all,
I have to deconstruct, surrender, and fall -
to recognize my malignancies
and maladjusted tendencies,
and the 'self indulgent habits' confederacy.
I have yet to grip my fist around this string,
and shut the door,
and forage through the blood on the floor,
to find the bone I must tear from my body,
because once I find it,
it won't be there anymore.
(I enjoyed writing this poem, because it's melancholy, but with a resigned determination.
now let's analyze the symbolism, because I for some reason doubt that anyone looks
into my poems so deeply. The string - recognizing the connection between my problems
and myself, as in, find the reasons I have them, and see if they're because of my behavior
or someone else's. Shut the door - Stopping the possibility of escape, and/or not letting
any more behaviors that I would disapprove of. Kind of like an ounce of prevention.
Blood on the floor - The emotion surrounding the experience/process of self growth
Bone - this is a play on a loose tooth. tie a string to your tooth, then the door, then
ouch. It won't be there anymore - once I've dealt with the problems relation to me,
the emotions caused by it, and disallowed myself from running away, I'll have no choice
but to deal with it because I refuse to live with something that makes me unhappy,
something that I understand, and something that I know how to stop. I wouldn't do that
That's just not the person I am.