little black mess
Last night was Date Night, and I wore my "customized" little black dress, which turned out to be a "little black mess!"
So, I'm all excited, playing fun music, putting on my makup, etc. When my hair and makup is done I decide to put on the dress (this is the one I spent hours secretly and painstakingly customizing with fringe and sparkly beads). I slip it on and turn it around so the back is in front of me - there's fringe near the zipper so I have to zip it up in front to make sure the fringe doesn't catch in the zipper. I go to zip it up, it goes about 3/4 the way up and then: It. Won't. Zip. Up. Augh!
Wardrobe malfunction! There's a bump or ridge or something in the zipper that's preventing it from going past a certain point. I try harder. No go. I take the dress off and try to zip it up all the way. Not happening. I put it back on and try again with the zipper in front of me. Grrr. My husband hears me getting upset and comes in to see if he can help. He can't get the thing zipped either.
Fortunately the space left open is only a 2-3 inches, the same length as the fringe - I close the little hook at the top of the zipper and pull the dress up. It doesn't look too bad when I look at it in the mirror. After more fussing from me, my husband convinces me that it looks just fine. We head out to the restaurant.
We're waiting for the subway train and I adjust my jacket and all of a sudden - pop! The hook has come undone! Uh oh. It's broken. I'm not wearing a bra - I figured I didn't need one because the dress is snug enough to hold my girls in place. Now, it's not snug, and I'm getting jiggly and have a strange sensation of... freedom?
Why oh why didn't I bring a safety pin? Oh yeah, my purse is tiny, but a safety pin wouldn't have made it crowded! We get to the restaurant and I go to the ladies room to investigate before taking off my jacket "in public." It's not terrible. I tuck the open sides into the back of the dress, and because it's black, it just sort of looks like a "sweetheart" neckline in the back. Not so bad. I can keep my jacket off. But I still have more "freedom" than I'm really comfortable with.
I sit down, drink some wine, enjoy my 2nd anniversary dinner with my Darling Husband. I'm thinking less and less about the stupid zipper and becoming less self-conscious about my gaping dress. We have martinis to finish the meal. I've forgotten about the problem completely. Romantic dinner is viewed as a sucess. Back on the subway, then grab an ice cream cone on the way home. Whole evening is romantic and memorable.
But if that little black dress had a neck I would strangle it.