Promesa Barata
I made a promise to myself.
I’m not going to look for him. I’m going to give him some space.
Space to breathe.
Space to be…without me.
If he wants to talk to me, he’ll call…right?
If he wants to see me, he’ll tell me.
I’m not going to be the one to ask.
I’m not going to insist.
Because if I do, it will only feed on the clinginess.
And I don’t want that.
I don’t want to be clingy.
I want to be…loved.
Why is he so cold online or on the phone?
When we’re together, he’s different.
He’s…sweet. Perfect.
Ay.
Today I told Estefani that her quinceañera has complicated my life.
She laughed and asked “Why? You met a guy?”
Not just a guy…the guy.
The one that I’ve come to love more than ever.
The one that doesn’t love me anymore.
Which makes me question…
If he told me he loved me long ago, how could he stop so abruptly?
Did he not mean it?
Or is he lying to me?
Why does he keep seeing me after everything I’ve done to him?
Is it because he just likes the affection?
Or is he just used to being with me?
La costumbre es difícil de matar.
This kills me. But I can’t do anything.
Just wait.
Wait to see if he wants to see me again.
And if he does…
I have to tell him I love him. I fucking love him.
It’s funny how emo I’ve turned. Thanks.
I’m not going to look for him. I’m going to give him some space.
Space to breathe.
Space to be…without me.
If he wants to talk to me, he’ll call…right?
If he wants to see me, he’ll tell me.
I’m not going to be the one to ask.
I’m not going to insist.
Because if I do, it will only feed on the clinginess.
And I don’t want that.
I don’t want to be clingy.
I want to be…loved.
Why is he so cold online or on the phone?
When we’re together, he’s different.
He’s…sweet. Perfect.
Ay.
Today I told Estefani that her quinceañera has complicated my life.
She laughed and asked “Why? You met a guy?”
Not just a guy…the guy.
The one that I’ve come to love more than ever.
The one that doesn’t love me anymore.
Which makes me question…
If he told me he loved me long ago, how could he stop so abruptly?
Did he not mean it?
Or is he lying to me?
Why does he keep seeing me after everything I’ve done to him?
Is it because he just likes the affection?
Or is he just used to being with me?
La costumbre es difícil de matar.
This kills me. But I can’t do anything.
Just wait.
Wait to see if he wants to see me again.
And if he does…
I have to tell him I love him. I fucking love him.
It’s funny how emo I’ve turned. Thanks.