don't be mistaken... i love my sister to death
yeah so guess what?? i'm on house arest. i didn't comit ne crime, i havn't done ne thing bad. but my mother feels that that by simplifying my life and whereabouts to my room and the kitchen, it will some how simplify hers too. well she's wrong. and she's making me misarable. gah! i'm not even alowed to go to solano (which is two blocks away) for some fucking food b/c this house has none!! the only way i can leave is woth my sister to go do some wedding chore, but my lovely sister keeps disapearing to go for 'after meal walks' or 'morning walks' or 'just going to stretch her legs' FUCK YOU AND YOUR WALKING!!! i know that you and matt are just going to smoke. i used to believ you when i was little, i thought that when you and your friends 'went to go get some air' you were really doing just that... how nieve? but i'v known since i was like 9. if you feel that you can take me to a colege party when i'm 10 and not feel guilty about 'exposing' me to life, then why the fuck do you keep having to hide the fact that you smoke?? you smoke, dad smoked. at least he didn't hide it. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU? you lived with dad for the two years b4 he died and i know why now. it's much easyer to steal ciggs from a smoker, then to have to steal them elswhere. wtf? at dads house no one cared if you smoked or drank or stayed out all night with your friends.. you didn't even have the sence to quit after watching him die of lung cancer. but you know... i don't even really mind. other then the fact that you're gona die at a young age and leav every one you love, and who loves you wishing that they could have spent just a little more time with you, i dont really care that you smoke. i know that this rant makes it seem like i do, and yeah it bothers me a little that you do it inspite of everything, but not so much that you do it... (does that make sense?) i mean smokeing it's self doesn't make ne one a bad person (despite what my mom may think) there are many people who i love who smoke, i just wish you had the guts to not hide it from me. b/c that's what it is. you're ashamed.