(no subject)
summers boring. i work all the time. i miss school alot. its nice seeing everyone here, but all i do is work and go to the gym and i dont really see tony as much as i thought i would cuz our schedules are so different. 4 months is way way too long to be home and im by myself too much .its such a drastic change from being around people 24/7 to pretty much never. everyone has crazy different schedules and its not really the same as the way i left it, and i didnt expect it to be. im just afraid going back to school next year is going to be very different too, im gonna miss ledges and being in the same hallway as everyone, now we are all spread out. hopefully it will be a good change, and we'll branch out to more people and i can actually do clubs and stuff and get a job. i got a new carr and i loveee ittttt. it will be so sosos good having it at school. i think ill like school better cuz i wont be contained there. and tony will be in groton so i can go see him even for hte night which im so excited about. i miss him so much .we made it official yesterday FINALLY and im very happy. i hope i dont regret it later when he leaves. which just hangs over my shoulders every day, thinking that if its hard nowww imagine how its gonna be when hes gone for 6 months and i cant even talk to him ever and see him. ughhh. but its ok. its worth it to me. im willing to take the risk. there is no one better. part of me wishes i moved there this summer. but i think id be even more bored and lonely than i am here, cuz he works so much. but atleast i could sleep next to him at night. idkkk blahh. everyone just like choses not to answer my texts and stuff or cancels at the last second. ive been hanging out with greg alot. not crestwood nearly as much as i thought i would, which really sucks because it was a big reason why i stayed. i wis hi got an internship or something. i feel like im just wasting time making money im just gonna blow on car payments and cigarettes and food at college. but what else am i gonna do? i would have waitressed but i need too many weekends off, harmo is more flexible which is good so i can go see tony when we know in advanced and thats kind of priority right now because i wont see him soon. i have 4 years to get internships. but everything is happening so fast. i got a car and boyfriend in 2 days lol. idk i think i might be depressed. i wasnt happy at school, im not happy here. im just miserable all the time and the only time im happy is when im with tony. i guess thats it. laterrrr.