here there and everywhere................

[adamhaas]

ah.......im tired but cant sleep...lol...surprise, surprise. Ever since Monday night i havent been able to sleep at all...ive probably getting about 4 hours a night, which has my body begging for mercy.....lol. I wish i handled stress better. I over think and worry about the smallest, dumbest things....although, some are very real and not so small i guess. But oh well, I should be used to the strain by now....lol...used to having a heavy heart....or maybe not, i dont know....wow, were those last 2 sentences confusing....lol. That confusion is the exhaustion manifesting itself in a very obvious way. (big, weird words is another sign of exhaustion...LOL) It feels kind of weird saying or complaining about not being able to sleep really....im sitting here at 12:18, physically exhausted but knowing that I will not go to bed for at least another 3 hours, but still....i really dont know how good i have it. I have been watching the news almost nonstop. Our troops are half a world away getting shot at and i am sitting here thinking about this stress.....lol.....although, i know that i need to sleep and calm down it still seems slightly twisted. (although in my defense, i think that this stress is almost largely due to my lack of sleep...not sleeping monday and tuesday nights doomed my body for the rest of the week!!!) But anyhow, back to my little thought here. last night on msnbc they had the cameras on for i think about 4 hours with one marine division driving across the desert. they rarely broke away from what was the ultimate reality tv. they showed the unit eating, refueling, joking around...really everything....kind of a behind the scenes. although, there was not combat at the time thankfully....just being live with marines in iraq was very cereal. but tonight the commentator (forget his name) on msnbc that was on during the 4 hours last night read an email from a woman from upstate new york whose only child is in that division. her email was incredible emotional and powerful. here is her son, her life, putting his life on the line across the world, which has her scared to death. but for a 4 hour period she was able to sit in front of the television and watch her son. the first peace she has had in 2 months she said :). and if that wasnt enough to choke you up, before her son left for iraq, he told her that if he did die, he wanted her to know that he did so on his own terms and that he loved her very much. she began to cry and told him that this was the first time in his life that she felt helpless and unable to protect him.......he told her that it was his turn ot protect her.......powerful stuff.

On a much lighter note, I have exciting news considering a trip......Panky, are you listening?....lol. Ill call you tomorrow and tell you.

I have class from 9-5 tomorrow :(........but i HAVE to go so it is going to be a rough day....at least relativly rough :)

well, i am off to do.......i dont know....lol....i know i wont be sleeping...lol.....well, on any note...... night all :)