To dream a scream

[adamdouglasjr]

The tiny click clack of a key finding its way into the hole clinked softly behind the front door of the loft. Whines and tiny whimpered at the bottom, Laramie pawing at the corner of the door. Adam let go a soft laugh, the door opening for his furry companion. Tucking the keys into his back pocket of his jeans, he continued forward into the loft,

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[icy_bitch]

It had been a long nice followed by peace. The peace caused by shutting down her mind rather than actually trying to cope with all she had witnessed the night before.

Trying to sleep, it came in pieces, waking up, constantly trying to figure out what was wrong. Failing, falling back to sleep only to lather, rinse, repeat.

And then something woke her. A sound. A scream.

Out of the bed like a shot, stumbling, falling on that twisted ankle. Growling as tears filled her eyes, making her way to her feet and limping to the living room.

"Adam?!? Adam where are you?"

[adamdouglasjr]

That thunk was what startled him to his feet. He scrambled to a stand, eyes wide at the woman limping in the doorway. His heart thud hard in his throat. Swallowing it down, he staggered to her, brain trying to work out that Emma was more important than some nightmare. Nightmare. That's all it was. Jack couldn't come back. He killed him. He watched him ash over.

...

He came to her, helping to keep her up. Eyes checked her quickly.

"I'm... I-I'm okay. Bad dream, is all. Y-you... Baby, you need t' stay in bed. I'll call Miss N 'r a docotr t' come an' have a looksie at yer ankle an' the bump on yer head. Alright?"

[icy_bitch]

"I'm fine. Really. Swear."

Of course she's lying. Her pupils two different sizes, her skin still pale, no light to her cheeks. The limping was the least of her worries. But she smiles, a wan, soft smile as she raises her hand, cradling the side of his face.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have been in bed with me, Darling. Nothing better to chase away the bad dreams than your love in your arms.'

Leaning up, gently kissing him, a tender gesture.

[adamdouglasjr]

Oh, those kisses she gave. Mind over matter was not the proper tool to be using with said matter turned said mind into mush. He melted softly, shoulder lowering with a pleasant smile. His arms pooled around her, holding her to him rather than helping her balance. Hands graced the sides of her hips softly. His throat hummed as he purred beneath the kiss.

"Y-....Youuu sh...should really get'yer rest, baby... I'll come with..."

[icy_bitch]

Curling into his embrace, eyes closing. Ignoring the dizziness that overcame her, the pain, the nausea. Just thinking about the arms of the man she loved wrapped so tightly around her, making her feel safe and comforted.

"I... I want... I need to explain to you what happened last night. Please. Leela... Leela and I wouldn't want you in the dark. Please... let me tell you?"

[adamdouglasjr]

He nodded, but ushered her carefully back to the bed. Nearly picking her up to do so, Adam helped her down to the bed, estranged to see her in something other than white latex or her White Queen wears. He wasn't sure, but he might have offered her a t-shirt had she been staying at his home. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, tilting his head to the side.

"You tell me if'n you feel you're ready, baby. I dun'wanna put no more pressure on yer head."

[icy_bitch]

"No. Need to do it now.'

The words murmured softly, sinking into the comfort of the bed with a sigh, sitting up only a moment to adjust the pillow beneath her ankle.

"I want to get rid of it, let it all go, as soon as I can. And I know that telling you about it will only make the wounds open once more. Where to start?'

Pausing, pondering.

"You know the basics, right? Leela was a wereanimal for a while? You knew Jason and his boyfriend Gabriel?'

Arching a brow, unsure whom Adam knew and didn't around the nexus.

[adamdouglasjr]

He nodded softly, looking at her, tending to her mental checklist. She had a point. The sooner this was taken from her the better. He waited, head tilted to hear the story. The reason.

[icy_bitch]

"Leela... She is a member of Gabriel's pard. As is Jason. I... She disobeyed him one day. And that? It was public. And against Satan.'

Trying to piece together what she knew, what she felt and what she had seen and turn it into one coherent story of truth.

"He, Gabriel, was going to go after Raina. On his own. Leela... She was trying to stop him. She... well, she turned to sex, figuring she might distract him until Jason got home. But Gabriel... he snapped."

Pausing, tensing, waiting.

[adamdouglasjr]

As the last few bits slowly filtered into his brain... It all started to piece together. Rape. That's why it was used during her conversation with Leela. His pupils dialated softly. Eyes casted to the side.

"A...An.... Wh-Where was I?"

Where was I when this happend? Why wasn't I told? Why wasn't I allowed to help? He grit his teeth, trying to push back the urge to beat the shit out of his pillow.

[icy_bitch]

"I... I don't know. I didn't know about it until later.'

Whimpering, hearing the anger, feeling it. Pulling Adam closer, nuzzling at his temple.

"I didn't know until Leela came here, right after you left on your business trip. She walked through the door and... And I was living it. He... He didn't just.. just rape her. He hurt her. And he said... He claimed her. Best I can put it and...'

Flailing mentally, getting lose once more in her pain. His. Her own.

[adamdouglasjr]

He trembled. He shook with rage and of fear. He was out of town. That was why Leela came to him. That's why she looked the way she did. So frail. His Leela. His sister. His friend. He wanted to puke. He wanted to vomit and to scream. That man. He'd confided in him once. Asked him for advice. His face felt numb. Head turned, unable to quite cope with those words...

"W-.....Why isn't he...de-...."

He couldn't finish. Thou shall not think harm upon thy neighbor. Upon thy fellow man. Gabriel was not a man anymore. He was a demon...

[icy_bitch]

Shaking, hearing it all in Adam's head. She needed to, keeping her contact to hear it all.

"She won't let us. Anyone that wants it. And...And it would kill Jason. Would destroy him to loose Gabriel."

Sighing, shaking her head.

"It was his punishment. What I did last night. I... I joined them. So he could know everything she felt. How it made her feel. And she... she needed to feel what he felt. He's..."

Whimpering softly.

"I want to kill myself. I hear his despair, his desire to end it all. And it is a biting pain through me. And she knows it as well. He is destroying himself from the inside out."

[adamdouglasjr]

He isn't dieing fast enough...

Adams gaze stayed into the nothingness beyond Emma's shoulder. He continued to quake, to shiver. His mind was dully screaming. He slowly laid back against his pillow, a hand slipping beneath the covers to intermingle his fingers to the small black beaded rosary he kept there for good use. Murder. This was like Richard. He thought it was just like Richard.

Satans voice trickled into his head, tempting him with the chance to do to Gabe what he never had the chance to do with Richard. Avenge.

No.

No, I will not. I am a good man. I am a good brother and a good man.

Murder. Murderer.

No. I am a good person. I am a good Christian and a good Catholic. I will not give in to temptation.

His lips moved slowly, the tiniest of mutters as he began his counterattack to the benign words flooding his mind...

"Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our

[icy_bitch]

"Don't.'

The word was soft. Tender. Said softly even as she pulled away, rising carefully. Needing distance, the mixture of religion and hatred too much for her mind.

"Murder is still a crime. And to your mind a sin. If you kill him? You'll change. You'll leave me. You won't be my Adam anymore. Please. Don't do it. If... If you need it done that bad. Against Leela's wishes, against Jason's... Against mine..."

She turned, facing him fully.

"Let me do it."

[adamdouglasjr]

He sat up, feeling her leave him. His hand left from beneath the pillow, rosary still clasped in his hand, snatching up her wrist carefully. He breathed it, 'Wait'. God.

God. Please. Make me strong. I don't want anyone to die. I want to be a good man.

His head lulled forward, the absence of happiness taking over.