Where's Your Christmas Spirit?
It just wasn't fair. Nothing was fair. If his Dad was around, he would say something to the effect of, "Life is not fair". And so it wasn't. If Tim was anybody else at all, he might have cried. Nothing was fair.
You see, Tim had proven Adam terribly right, except he didn't quite know it yet - although he strongly suspected it. Adam's little bomb scare had set Tim right off, and put him in a god-awful mood; but wouldn't it be practical for someone in Tim's situation to do the opposite of what Adam wanted him to do? That would make sense, wouldn't it? Well, Tim is apparently a man of poor logic, for when he realised what Adam had done, he did the exact thing that he knew Adam would want him to do.
Why?
Just wait.
The car was parked directly opposite the hall, and Tim pulled out his things and stormed across the grass towards it, dragging his heavy luggage with him. He stopped short, staring at a figure in the doorway - silhouetted by the light from inside. Who else could it be, but Adam? Sighing, and shaking his head, Tim continued. There was nothing else to be done.
"I don't care what you think you've done," snapped Tim as he approached, "but I feel the need to punish you anyway. You're going to sit out here and mind my things."
Adam stared at Tim, really attempting not to smirk.
"Er ... you aren't my superior ..." he said in a small voice that wasn't exactly his.
Tim stared for a minute. That certainly didn't sound, first of all, like any tone of voice that Adam Donovan would ever use, nor did it sound like something he would ever say.
"Not just yet," the New Zealand boy shot back.
As Tim passed him, hurrying on inside, Adam smiled to himself. Was that a joke? It seemed to be. A small one; but it was a joke. Yes, he'd done his job as a good friend. However drastic his actions had been, they had accomplished his aim of bringing Tim right back down to earth. Of course he needed to use drastic measures for such a task.
The boys were all really quite shocked to see Tim storming purposefully through the hall. He stalked right past them, even though he glanced in their direction, he simply ignored them, and headed straight for a young girl standing alone by a window.
"Do you think it's love?" Ed whispered, watching Tim.
"What? And it brought Timothy Stackhouse all the way back here, missing his flight?" Larry stared at Ed as if there were something terribly wrong with him.
Harry stared at Ed in much the same fashion as Larry, but apparently didn't think it was worth wasting his breath over. Instead, he swiped Ed over the back of the head and walked away.
Tim wasn't thinking. Usually that kind of thing would either be considered, on a guy, normal, or - for people in general - really unhelpful. In this case, however, it was very useful. If Tim had given his brain time to process what was going on, he would have turned the situation into a disaster. Walking up a girl was nerve-racking for many males - Tim included. Unlike the majority of these men, however, when Tim got nervous in front of girls, he started to act really mean.
Tim did not like it when people saw through him; and so he didn't let them. Instead of letting people see how nervous he was, he made everyone else feel nervous and incompetent instead (even if it did mean everyone saw him as a jerk).
"Ellis," he tapped the brunette on the shoulder.
Ellis jumped, and spun around in horror.
"Tim?" She stared at him, gaping. "Uh ..." she shook her head, feeling her face growing red (how stupid of her to just stare). "What ... what are you doing here? I thought you --"
"Could we possibly go ... um, out?" Tim said.
Ellis felt her stomach bouncing around inside of her. What did he just say? Tim, on the other hand, realised just what he'd said and how it sounded like something he really didn't mean.
"Er ..." he closed his eyes, feeling terrible. "I meant, outside. For a second. That way," he pointed to the doors marked, 'In case of emergency only'.
The New Zealander felt like he could just shoot himself as he watched Ellis' face fall. She, however, looked as if he'd just stabbed her best friend in the back. Shaking his head, he took her hand.
"Come on," he said, leading her out through the crowds of people.
There was no protest from Ellis as she was dragged unceremoniously through the hall. It wasn't as if she was having such a fantastic time anyway. Vinny had been jumping about, waiting for Adam to come inside, and so Ellis had left the girl to her own devices. Then she had gone and stood by the window, gazing out at the stars, feeling downright terrible. Now she was being dragged through the hall by Tim, and she didn't mind at all.
For a brief second, Tim could have sworn he'd felt Ellis' gentle hands yanking him back. He couldn't be sure, until she yelled out,
"Hey!"
Oh, how he wished she hadn't yelled. If only he could turn back the clocks, he would have put a gag over her mouth or something. Tim turned around.
So did everybody else. Tim winced. Ellis had an enormous grin on her face, and pointed upwards. Tim did not want to look up. He stared into her eyes, pleading with her to be joking. Pursing his lips, and looking as if someone were sticking a needle into him, he looked up. Very. Slowly.
One very boring day down at the beach, Adam had asked Tim what he was most afraid of in the world. That had lead them into an enormously long and pointless bantering conversation, which annoyed absolutely everyone around them for a fair few hours. Adam never got the answer that he wanted. If he looked inside at that very moment, however, he would have seen it, then and there - the one thing that freaked Tim out.
Tim loathed mistletoe.
Mistletoe was hanging contently above his head right now.
Ellis now stared at him expectantly, with a giddy-looking smile on her face; her eyes sparkling. Everyone around them was watching with silent interest. Harry circled around the crowd, searching around for Adam. That lad would be having a field day - wherever he was. Ed and Larry were standing side by side, grinning and elbowing each other pointlessly.
Tim had to somehow stop this without embarrassing Ellis. How the hell could he do that? She was so incredibly keen right now. Everyone was staring at them. Oh why was everyone staring? That just made everything so much worse. He could have just pulled her away if no one was looking, and there would be no big discussion. As it was, however, everyone was staring and there was nothing he could do that wouldn't embarrass the girl.
"Ellis," he whispered urgently to her.
Ellis, however, only grinned at him, misinterpreting his tone. He tried to shake his head, but she'd closed her eyes already. Oh, crap.
At that moment, Tim took hold of both of Ellis' wrists and dragged her hastily out of the hall. She let out a surprised gasp and had no choice but to follow him. The crowd watched with interest, wondering what was going on. Pushing the emergency doors open, Tim ran outside and hoped that when he turned around, Ellis was only looking curious. Not mad. Not embarrassed. And certainly not hurt.
"Um."
Tim turned around. Ellis was staring at him. Her eyes were wide and she was glancing every now and then back at the hall. She was totally confused; okay, good.
"I'm sorry about that ..." he began, sort of smiling, thinking that she'd perhaps be okay.
Oh, how wrong he could be. Ellis continued to stare at him.
"You are?" She sounded surprised.
"Err ... yes, I am ..."
"You are?" She said it again.
Okay. She repeated herself. What could that mean? Had she forgotten that she'd already said that, or hadn't she heard his response? Or, could she possibly, be angry?
Tim opened his mouth to say something - he didn't know what, but her facial expression and tone suggested that he really should say something. Ellis, however, didn't give him the chance. She narrowed her eyes, shook her head and made a sound like a horse and just walked away. Tim's eyes widened. What the hell had just happened?
*~*~*
Sparks flew around by the boys' eyes, but they didn't even blink. The knitted pink beanie had once again found it's way onto Adam's head. Tim's eyes were focused on the fire as he spoke softly - he was still in shock.
"I took a chance," he said. "I was given a sign and decided that, even if it meant wasting all that money, it could possibly be worth it in the end. But ... then ... it turns out that I've just wasted all my money."
Adam nodded dumbly, not knowing what he could say that wouldn't earn him a "shut up" or a rather painful punch. He didn't want Tmi to realise that the blame for this could be directed back to him.
"I don't get it." Tim propped his head up on his arm. "What did I possibly do wrong?"
He was looking at Adam now. It took a couple of seconds for Adam to realise that he actually wanted his opinion.
"Uh ... well, I ..." he stuttered. "I guess you embarrassed her."
"How the hell ..." began Tim, forcibly. "Why would someone think thaT?" He stomped his foot on the ground. "I was trying - why would she think that I would just stand there and kiss her? Is she one of those women who believes that men come riding down to save women in bright, shining armour, and their majestic -- um ... Adam?"
Momentarily, Adam looked as though he was in a daze. As Tim stared at him, he decided it was probably best not to ask.
"So," Adam shook himself back into reality. "Why didn't you kiss her?"
Tim faltered.
"It definitely wasn't that you didn't want to, because why else would you have come back? You were bringing her out the back for a reason."
"Yes. So no one else would be there!" Tim defended.
Adam grinned.
"You're afraid." He smirked.
"What?" Tim sprung up. "Of people? That's ridiculous. Of course I'm not afraid of people!"
"No, you idiot," Adam said, shaking his head and continuing to laugh. "You're afraid of mistletoe!"
Tim's tightened lips, his narrowed glare and fists told Adam that he was incredibly right. His grin made it known to Tim that there was now nothing he could do, except:
"Don't you dare tell anybody." He said, through gritted teeth.
"Yes ..." Adam said slowly. "You see ... there's a problem with that ... and, er, the problem is that, I don't actually have anything to tell anyone. All I know is that you are afraid of mistletoe."
"What?" Tim screwed his face up. "What else is there for you to possibly know?"
"Why you're afraid of such a stupid thing would be a start," replied Adam.
Tim glared. Adam shrugged, and grinned.
"TIMOTHY STACKHOUSE HAS A FEAR --"
With Tim's forceful hand over his mouth, Adam was not only muffled but also thrown right off his seat.
"OOPH!" He landed on the ground painfully.
"Fine!" Tim said, tightly. "Shut up, and I'll tell you!"
Without waiting for Adam to get himself up, off the ground, Tim sat again and began his story.
"My dad died early," he said, the tightness still in his voice. "I used to love him, of course. Well. You know - like father and son. Anyway, there was this one day ... he was sick, you know, and it was nearing Christmas. He wanted to put the Christmas tree up, but we didn't let him. One of my sisters and I did it. He wanted to put some fairy lights up, but mum had Tracy do it. We wouldn't even let him climb into the attic to get our old sacks." Tim shook his head now.
Adam stared across at his friend. Although Tim still had that 'I'll bite you if you interrupt me' tone, this moment was one of the rarest that Adam could ever find himself in. Tim was opening up. And to him - well, you know, later on Adam was going to brag horribly about knowing something that no one else did.
"He wanted to do something, of course, because we made him feel incompetent. He wanted to feel like he was useful."
"So he put the mistletoe up?" Adam guessed.
"Emma wanted to do it," Tim said. "That's the younger one," he explained, off Adam's questioning look. "She's a year older than me. Anyway ... yes, she wanted to do it. When we got back home, well, she was bitterly disappointed. Of course. But ... uh, that wasn't entirely why. Dad fell of the ladder ..."
There was no need to continue. Adam understood perfectly. Even if he hadn't, Tim wasn't going to go on. He stood up then and wandered off. Perhaps he wasn't going home this year. He might need some more time away from home. He had never told anybody in the world about that. In fact, he had done his very best to never remember that moment ever again. That was why, when he saw mistletoe, he only felt like he wanted to rip it off and burn it.
~*~
Ellis didn't know why he'd done it. The point was that he'd done it. The fact that he had not kissed her meant that perhaps he wasn't serious. Even if he thought he was, she knew he wasn't. Nothing would stop someone who was serious enough from kissing. She didn't want to know if it was the crowd, or the suddenness, or anything else it could possibly be. That wasn't the point.
The point was that he needed to be deathly serious about a relationship. If he wasn't serious, she didn't want him. If there was something that could come and suddenly make him think twice like that, well, then she knew it wasn't what she wanted.
Maybe she'd acted stupidly. Perhaps she should have told him why she walked off; but Ellis wasn't sure enough that she could do something like that. It was terribly important, but something kept on telling her to just sit there. Wait. Just wait.
Unfortunately, when Vinny came in a few days later to tell Ellis that Tim had gone back to New Zealand after all, Ellis buried her head in her pillow and cried about her stupidity. She should have spoken to him before he left.
On the plane, however, Tim was telling himself to put it all behind him. Forget about it. Even if that was a hard thing to do, he would try. Yet another reason to hate mistletoe.
You see, Tim had proven Adam terribly right, except he didn't quite know it yet - although he strongly suspected it. Adam's little bomb scare had set Tim right off, and put him in a god-awful mood; but wouldn't it be practical for someone in Tim's situation to do the opposite of what Adam wanted him to do? That would make sense, wouldn't it? Well, Tim is apparently a man of poor logic, for when he realised what Adam had done, he did the exact thing that he knew Adam would want him to do.
Why?
Just wait.
The car was parked directly opposite the hall, and Tim pulled out his things and stormed across the grass towards it, dragging his heavy luggage with him. He stopped short, staring at a figure in the doorway - silhouetted by the light from inside. Who else could it be, but Adam? Sighing, and shaking his head, Tim continued. There was nothing else to be done.
"I don't care what you think you've done," snapped Tim as he approached, "but I feel the need to punish you anyway. You're going to sit out here and mind my things."
Adam stared at Tim, really attempting not to smirk.
"Er ... you aren't my superior ..." he said in a small voice that wasn't exactly his.
Tim stared for a minute. That certainly didn't sound, first of all, like any tone of voice that Adam Donovan would ever use, nor did it sound like something he would ever say.
"Not just yet," the New Zealand boy shot back.
As Tim passed him, hurrying on inside, Adam smiled to himself. Was that a joke? It seemed to be. A small one; but it was a joke. Yes, he'd done his job as a good friend. However drastic his actions had been, they had accomplished his aim of bringing Tim right back down to earth. Of course he needed to use drastic measures for such a task.
The boys were all really quite shocked to see Tim storming purposefully through the hall. He stalked right past them, even though he glanced in their direction, he simply ignored them, and headed straight for a young girl standing alone by a window.
"Do you think it's love?" Ed whispered, watching Tim.
"What? And it brought Timothy Stackhouse all the way back here, missing his flight?" Larry stared at Ed as if there were something terribly wrong with him.
Harry stared at Ed in much the same fashion as Larry, but apparently didn't think it was worth wasting his breath over. Instead, he swiped Ed over the back of the head and walked away.
Tim wasn't thinking. Usually that kind of thing would either be considered, on a guy, normal, or - for people in general - really unhelpful. In this case, however, it was very useful. If Tim had given his brain time to process what was going on, he would have turned the situation into a disaster. Walking up a girl was nerve-racking for many males - Tim included. Unlike the majority of these men, however, when Tim got nervous in front of girls, he started to act really mean.
Tim did not like it when people saw through him; and so he didn't let them. Instead of letting people see how nervous he was, he made everyone else feel nervous and incompetent instead (even if it did mean everyone saw him as a jerk).
"Ellis," he tapped the brunette on the shoulder.
Ellis jumped, and spun around in horror.
"Tim?" She stared at him, gaping. "Uh ..." she shook her head, feeling her face growing red (how stupid of her to just stare). "What ... what are you doing here? I thought you --"
"Could we possibly go ... um, out?" Tim said.
Ellis felt her stomach bouncing around inside of her. What did he just say? Tim, on the other hand, realised just what he'd said and how it sounded like something he really didn't mean.
"Er ..." he closed his eyes, feeling terrible. "I meant, outside. For a second. That way," he pointed to the doors marked, 'In case of emergency only'.
The New Zealander felt like he could just shoot himself as he watched Ellis' face fall. She, however, looked as if he'd just stabbed her best friend in the back. Shaking his head, he took her hand.
"Come on," he said, leading her out through the crowds of people.
There was no protest from Ellis as she was dragged unceremoniously through the hall. It wasn't as if she was having such a fantastic time anyway. Vinny had been jumping about, waiting for Adam to come inside, and so Ellis had left the girl to her own devices. Then she had gone and stood by the window, gazing out at the stars, feeling downright terrible. Now she was being dragged through the hall by Tim, and she didn't mind at all.
For a brief second, Tim could have sworn he'd felt Ellis' gentle hands yanking him back. He couldn't be sure, until she yelled out,
"Hey!"
Oh, how he wished she hadn't yelled. If only he could turn back the clocks, he would have put a gag over her mouth or something. Tim turned around.
So did everybody else. Tim winced. Ellis had an enormous grin on her face, and pointed upwards. Tim did not want to look up. He stared into her eyes, pleading with her to be joking. Pursing his lips, and looking as if someone were sticking a needle into him, he looked up. Very. Slowly.
One very boring day down at the beach, Adam had asked Tim what he was most afraid of in the world. That had lead them into an enormously long and pointless bantering conversation, which annoyed absolutely everyone around them for a fair few hours. Adam never got the answer that he wanted. If he looked inside at that very moment, however, he would have seen it, then and there - the one thing that freaked Tim out.
Tim loathed mistletoe.
Mistletoe was hanging contently above his head right now.
Ellis now stared at him expectantly, with a giddy-looking smile on her face; her eyes sparkling. Everyone around them was watching with silent interest. Harry circled around the crowd, searching around for Adam. That lad would be having a field day - wherever he was. Ed and Larry were standing side by side, grinning and elbowing each other pointlessly.
Tim had to somehow stop this without embarrassing Ellis. How the hell could he do that? She was so incredibly keen right now. Everyone was staring at them. Oh why was everyone staring? That just made everything so much worse. He could have just pulled her away if no one was looking, and there would be no big discussion. As it was, however, everyone was staring and there was nothing he could do that wouldn't embarrass the girl.
"Ellis," he whispered urgently to her.
Ellis, however, only grinned at him, misinterpreting his tone. He tried to shake his head, but she'd closed her eyes already. Oh, crap.
At that moment, Tim took hold of both of Ellis' wrists and dragged her hastily out of the hall. She let out a surprised gasp and had no choice but to follow him. The crowd watched with interest, wondering what was going on. Pushing the emergency doors open, Tim ran outside and hoped that when he turned around, Ellis was only looking curious. Not mad. Not embarrassed. And certainly not hurt.
"Um."
Tim turned around. Ellis was staring at him. Her eyes were wide and she was glancing every now and then back at the hall. She was totally confused; okay, good.
"I'm sorry about that ..." he began, sort of smiling, thinking that she'd perhaps be okay.
Oh, how wrong he could be. Ellis continued to stare at him.
"You are?" She sounded surprised.
"Err ... yes, I am ..."
"You are?" She said it again.
Okay. She repeated herself. What could that mean? Had she forgotten that she'd already said that, or hadn't she heard his response? Or, could she possibly, be angry?
Tim opened his mouth to say something - he didn't know what, but her facial expression and tone suggested that he really should say something. Ellis, however, didn't give him the chance. She narrowed her eyes, shook her head and made a sound like a horse and just walked away. Tim's eyes widened. What the hell had just happened?
*~*~*
Sparks flew around by the boys' eyes, but they didn't even blink. The knitted pink beanie had once again found it's way onto Adam's head. Tim's eyes were focused on the fire as he spoke softly - he was still in shock.
"I took a chance," he said. "I was given a sign and decided that, even if it meant wasting all that money, it could possibly be worth it in the end. But ... then ... it turns out that I've just wasted all my money."
Adam nodded dumbly, not knowing what he could say that wouldn't earn him a "shut up" or a rather painful punch. He didn't want Tmi to realise that the blame for this could be directed back to him.
"I don't get it." Tim propped his head up on his arm. "What did I possibly do wrong?"
He was looking at Adam now. It took a couple of seconds for Adam to realise that he actually wanted his opinion.
"Uh ... well, I ..." he stuttered. "I guess you embarrassed her."
"How the hell ..." began Tim, forcibly. "Why would someone think thaT?" He stomped his foot on the ground. "I was trying - why would she think that I would just stand there and kiss her? Is she one of those women who believes that men come riding down to save women in bright, shining armour, and their majestic -- um ... Adam?"
Momentarily, Adam looked as though he was in a daze. As Tim stared at him, he decided it was probably best not to ask.
"So," Adam shook himself back into reality. "Why didn't you kiss her?"
Tim faltered.
"It definitely wasn't that you didn't want to, because why else would you have come back? You were bringing her out the back for a reason."
"Yes. So no one else would be there!" Tim defended.
Adam grinned.
"You're afraid." He smirked.
"What?" Tim sprung up. "Of people? That's ridiculous. Of course I'm not afraid of people!"
"No, you idiot," Adam said, shaking his head and continuing to laugh. "You're afraid of mistletoe!"
Tim's tightened lips, his narrowed glare and fists told Adam that he was incredibly right. His grin made it known to Tim that there was now nothing he could do, except:
"Don't you dare tell anybody." He said, through gritted teeth.
"Yes ..." Adam said slowly. "You see ... there's a problem with that ... and, er, the problem is that, I don't actually have anything to tell anyone. All I know is that you are afraid of mistletoe."
"What?" Tim screwed his face up. "What else is there for you to possibly know?"
"Why you're afraid of such a stupid thing would be a start," replied Adam.
Tim glared. Adam shrugged, and grinned.
"TIMOTHY STACKHOUSE HAS A FEAR --"
With Tim's forceful hand over his mouth, Adam was not only muffled but also thrown right off his seat.
"OOPH!" He landed on the ground painfully.
"Fine!" Tim said, tightly. "Shut up, and I'll tell you!"
Without waiting for Adam to get himself up, off the ground, Tim sat again and began his story.
"My dad died early," he said, the tightness still in his voice. "I used to love him, of course. Well. You know - like father and son. Anyway, there was this one day ... he was sick, you know, and it was nearing Christmas. He wanted to put the Christmas tree up, but we didn't let him. One of my sisters and I did it. He wanted to put some fairy lights up, but mum had Tracy do it. We wouldn't even let him climb into the attic to get our old sacks." Tim shook his head now.
Adam stared across at his friend. Although Tim still had that 'I'll bite you if you interrupt me' tone, this moment was one of the rarest that Adam could ever find himself in. Tim was opening up. And to him - well, you know, later on Adam was going to brag horribly about knowing something that no one else did.
"He wanted to do something, of course, because we made him feel incompetent. He wanted to feel like he was useful."
"So he put the mistletoe up?" Adam guessed.
"Emma wanted to do it," Tim said. "That's the younger one," he explained, off Adam's questioning look. "She's a year older than me. Anyway ... yes, she wanted to do it. When we got back home, well, she was bitterly disappointed. Of course. But ... uh, that wasn't entirely why. Dad fell of the ladder ..."
There was no need to continue. Adam understood perfectly. Even if he hadn't, Tim wasn't going to go on. He stood up then and wandered off. Perhaps he wasn't going home this year. He might need some more time away from home. He had never told anybody in the world about that. In fact, he had done his very best to never remember that moment ever again. That was why, when he saw mistletoe, he only felt like he wanted to rip it off and burn it.
~*~
Ellis didn't know why he'd done it. The point was that he'd done it. The fact that he had not kissed her meant that perhaps he wasn't serious. Even if he thought he was, she knew he wasn't. Nothing would stop someone who was serious enough from kissing. She didn't want to know if it was the crowd, or the suddenness, or anything else it could possibly be. That wasn't the point.
The point was that he needed to be deathly serious about a relationship. If he wasn't serious, she didn't want him. If there was something that could come and suddenly make him think twice like that, well, then she knew it wasn't what she wanted.
Maybe she'd acted stupidly. Perhaps she should have told him why she walked off; but Ellis wasn't sure enough that she could do something like that. It was terribly important, but something kept on telling her to just sit there. Wait. Just wait.
Unfortunately, when Vinny came in a few days later to tell Ellis that Tim had gone back to New Zealand after all, Ellis buried her head in her pillow and cried about her stupidity. She should have spoken to him before he left.
On the plane, however, Tim was telling himself to put it all behind him. Forget about it. Even if that was a hard thing to do, he would try. Yet another reason to hate mistletoe.