**private thoughts**
I've determined that keeping myself holed up at work is easier than dealing with things. Why go out and risk running into people when I can stay here and get work done? Writing briefs, typing up depositions and putting up with McCoy are all easier than that.
I took the book back to the bookstore. His birthday is Monday and from what he told me before...not much fuss gets made over it. I'd wanted to get him something and maybe have dinner...let him know that I cared. Afterward...after we broke up...I thought maybe I'd just send the book. But that would be wrong. He's not...we didn't even say we'd be just friends or whatever and I haven't even seen him since then. I do care, though, even though he may never know it. That's my own fault there, and I'll have to deal with it without creating more awkwardness by sending the book. I took it back for that reason.
Not everything is about you, Connie. When will you learn? The accusation, when Rob said it, in not so many words, left me slightly speechless. He's right. I do assume things. I do prejudge and I cut people off before there's a chance that they'll leave first. He accused me of being proud of the fact, when I said I didn't plan on changing any time soon. It's not that I don't want to change. It's that I don't think I know how. And...it's just easier this way. Editing a legal brief--staring at words, tangible facts--than dealing with running into people, having conversations I can't control.
I'm tired of people telling me how I feel. Looking at me and assuming they know. This is just...okay maybe not easier. But...the only thing I can think of to do right now.