36. written. Once Upon a Time in Nazi-Occupied France.....

[actuallyagolem]

I'm sure you've all heard by now, but Clapet's graduated. He went home today. Even though he liked to use my face as a punching bag and stabbed me twice, I'm going to miss the guy. Despite everything, all those bad things he did, some of which I'm sure some of you saw or experienced first-hand for yourselves, he was human and I could relate to him

Comments

private - be a man, Howie. be a man.

[actuallyagolem]

Clapet knew at the end. I told him when it was starting to look like he might actually graduate. Actually, he asked me about it first.

Again, not that I'm ungrateful for being here, but it does. It's not a home, but at least there are people here that've made it feel like one.

And I don't know yet. I guess I've kind of just realized I could go back if I wanted to.

Re: private - good ol' Howie

[actuallyagolem]

I just didn't think it was important.

I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I don't really care if my death means anything to anyone on this boat. My death meant enough to all the Jews back home, and that's enough for me. More than enough.

But thanks, guy.

Re: private

[actuallyagolem]

I guess I wouldn't either if I was an inmate. We must be crazy.

Even if I went back. I don't know if my mind's made up yet.

I love her, you know.

Re: private

[actuallyagolem]

The last thing I'd want to do is hurt her, Howie.

You love her too still, don't you?

Re: private

[actuallyagolem]

I thought you did.

You know, I'd ask her to come with me, but I can't do that to her. Her place is here.

Re: private

[actuallyagolem]

[Ignoring that question there for a minute Howie.]

If I asked her to come with me, you mean?

Re: private

[actuallyagolem]

I couldn't put her in that position. Now that wouldn't be fair.

Even if it is what I really want.

Re: private

[actuallyagolem]

So you understand why I couldn't ask her, and why I won't, even if I'm going to lose her.

What, Howie? If I leave what?