36. written. Once Upon a Time in Nazi-Occupied France.....
I'm sure you've all heard by now, but Clapet's graduated. He went home today. Even though he liked to use my face as a punching bag and stabbed me twice, I'm going to miss the guy. Despite everything, all those bad things he did, some of which I'm sure some of you saw or experienced first-hand for yourselves, he was human and I could relate to him. I proud of him too.
I've got a confession to make, Barge. A lot of them, actually, so you can either hear me out or skip this post right now. I won't be offended if you skip it. Honestly, I don't care either way.
I didn't make a deal with the Admiral. All this time I've been working here, it's been without any goal in mind. I got blown up and got put to work on the Barge. The End. I don't know why a lot of you people stay when you don't have to - by the way, don't take that as an invitation to start justifying yourselves to me. I get that we all have our reasons; I'm just saying that if I had a choice, I probably would have just stayed back on earth, war or no war. Anyway, moved a little from the topic there. Point is, I didn't make a deal, still haven't actually, because I was just happy to be alive.
Because as much as I believe my death meant something, being dead permanently would have sucked.
Now I'm wondering if maybe I should come up with something. Time's right and all that. Granted, probably should have come up with something a long time ago when it looked like Clapet actually had a chance of leaving this hunk of junk, but I just wasn't thinking about it at the time. Actually, I haven't given it any thought until just now.
Thing is, I don't really know if I can go home. Maybe the guy who killed Hitler should stay dead. What kind of life is that guy going to have when he does get home? Not a normal one, I can tell you that. Actually, I don't really know if what I did during the War will be public knowledge or not. I did work for the OSS after all, and sometimes they could keep a secret if they tried hard enough. Could be that they kept names out of it and I'll be alright going back to my friends and family.
By the way, I don't think there's a point to keeping all this stuff a secret from you anymore, in case you couldn't tell. The Barge is always finding new ways of pulling secrets out of us anyway, and I probably should stop hiding things from the rest of you just because I don't want all of you breathing down my neck, telling me my world isn't the real world. So yes, I killed Hitler and worked for the OSS. I was with this little commando group that the Nazis called the Basterds, and all we did was terrorize and demoralize the Nazis. (I was particularly famous with the Germans, by the way, hence that Bear Jew nickname of mine.) Anyway, we shot Goebbels and Hitler and blew up the rest of German high command, and that's when I died.
I don't know if the rest of the Basterds survived. I'd like to think they did, and made it back home and were given medals and all sorts of other things befitting war heroes. I was lucky though, being pulled on to the Barge when I did. As I said before, sure beats being dead. We get a chance to try again here. Being on the Barge isn't easy, but it's still a second chance, and second chances shouldn't be easy.
This place, as great as it's been for me, really isn't a home. You don't make families here and you really shouldn't try to live out a full life on a floating space prison. And you know, I really do miss my home. I miss my ma and dad, and the ratty little barbershop that I bought with the savings I hoarded for years during the hard times. I miss Boston, shithole that is is, and the neighborhood I spent my entire life in, excluding when I was shipped off to Italy and France.
I miss really living, not just pretending.
And alright, hand hurts, so I'm done writing now.
((ooc: With his inmate all graduated and whatnot, Donny Donowitz's time here on the Barge is coming to an end. He's going to be around for just a little while longer to sort out bidness, but I'll be retiring him by the end of the month.))
I've got a confession to make, Barge. A lot of them, actually, so you can either hear me out or skip this post right now. I won't be offended if you skip it. Honestly, I don't care either way.
I didn't make a deal with the Admiral. All this time I've been working here, it's been without any goal in mind. I got blown up and got put to work on the Barge. The End. I don't know why a lot of you people stay when you don't have to - by the way, don't take that as an invitation to start justifying yourselves to me. I get that we all have our reasons; I'm just saying that if I had a choice, I probably would have just stayed back on earth, war or no war. Anyway, moved a little from the topic there. Point is, I didn't make a deal, still haven't actually, because I was just happy to be alive.
Because as much as I believe my death meant something, being dead permanently would have sucked.
Now I'm wondering if maybe I should come up with something. Time's right and all that. Granted, probably should have come up with something a long time ago when it looked like Clapet actually had a chance of leaving this hunk of junk, but I just wasn't thinking about it at the time. Actually, I haven't given it any thought until just now.
Thing is, I don't really know if I can go home. Maybe the guy who killed Hitler should stay dead. What kind of life is that guy going to have when he does get home? Not a normal one, I can tell you that. Actually, I don't really know if what I did during the War will be public knowledge or not. I did work for the OSS after all, and sometimes they could keep a secret if they tried hard enough. Could be that they kept names out of it and I'll be alright going back to my friends and family.
By the way, I don't think there's a point to keeping all this stuff a secret from you anymore, in case you couldn't tell. The Barge is always finding new ways of pulling secrets out of us anyway, and I probably should stop hiding things from the rest of you just because I don't want all of you breathing down my neck, telling me my world isn't the real world. So yes, I killed Hitler and worked for the OSS. I was with this little commando group that the Nazis called the Basterds, and all we did was terrorize and demoralize the Nazis. (I was particularly famous with the Germans, by the way, hence that Bear Jew nickname of mine.) Anyway, we shot Goebbels and Hitler and blew up the rest of German high command, and that's when I died.
I don't know if the rest of the Basterds survived. I'd like to think they did, and made it back home and were given medals and all sorts of other things befitting war heroes. I was lucky though, being pulled on to the Barge when I did. As I said before, sure beats being dead. We get a chance to try again here. Being on the Barge isn't easy, but it's still a second chance, and second chances shouldn't be easy.
This place, as great as it's been for me, really isn't a home. You don't make families here and you really shouldn't try to live out a full life on a floating space prison. And you know, I really do miss my home. I miss my ma and dad, and the ratty little barbershop that I bought with the savings I hoarded for years during the hard times. I miss Boston, shithole that is is, and the neighborhood I spent my entire life in, excluding when I was shipped off to Italy and France.
I miss really living, not just pretending.
And alright, hand hurts, so I'm done writing now.
((ooc: With his inmate all graduated and whatnot, Donny Donowitz's time here on the Barge is coming to an end. He's going to be around for just a little while longer to sort out bidness, but I'll be retiring him by the end of the month.))