Huh?...
School. Colleges. Grandparents. Dad. Loneliness. Graduation. Brother and Sister. Advanced Algebra 2. Finally dropping physics. Sadness. Fear. Paranoia. Friends. Fear of asking a simple question. Fear of what the answer will be. Bashful. Musical. AP English. Performing Arts. "Mostly Too..." is over. SUNY Purchase. Mrs. Meers. Feeling like the person in the Mariner poem we read in English who was in between life and death. Death. Life. One year. June 2007. Dad doesn't return my phone calls. Everett Baker. Grandma calls my grandpa names, thinking he's paying for her nursing home. Grandma calls his sister names too. Alzheimer's. Alone. Think. Ninth grade. Buffalo State University. Nervous. Tired. Lazy. Hypocrite. Clueless. I love my friends. Jerry Lewis. Feel alone even when my sister is right upstairs. Mission Band. Five years now? Miss my mom. Grandparents' house is not the same like when I was younger. No more Sunday dinners. Ages 86 (Grandpa) and 90 in December (Grandma). I love them. My brother and sister have been raising me for a little more than five years. I love them. Mr. Brill. "Six Scenes Trapped In a Box". The Senior Performing Arts Class of 2007. I love them. Where will I be after high school? I don't want to forget them. I hope I won't be forgotten. I want to keep in touch. Jake. Rush-Henrietta. Webster. Scared. Colleges essays. Senioritis. Doubt. Time has gone by so fast. I miss the good old elementary school days. No actual worries. Success. "Success" by Arthur Kopit. Elliot Krum. I hope I do. I am an ass. Apologies to all my friends I've been an ass to. Lysander. I am sad. Should I be? Nothing really terrible has happened. Inspiration. Play writing. It is a fun class. Where will I be in exactly a year from now? I am scared. Best friends. "Thoroughly Modern Millie". First day of high school. "Hi". Lunch. Procrastination. Laughs. Acting 9. Singing 9. Dropped the marley. Dance 9. Seabreeze. Pizza. I had a chance and never took it. I'm worried. I don't know why. It's hard to talk to my sister and brother about stuff that is bothering me. Besides school. I do know why. Good summer. Busy summer. Bill 2. First kiss. This summer. On stage. First real kiss? I need to grow up. Personal stuff. Who knows? Maybe never. Scared. SATs scores are low. Stupid test. Apologies. Drama. Comedy. Theatre. "The Wonder Years" is a great show. The Director. Cheese. I want to be a good friend. I don't know if I am. Worry. Most of the time I don't think I am. My dad writes on the envelope of the child support check for me to call him. Can't he call? The Teacher. David B. Crane Elementary school in Rush-Henrietta. First grade. First crush. Jill. Scared. Lonely. Lou. Narration. "Small World". "Noooo". I need to get out of here. Dysfunctional family? Good family. Small family. My friends are family. I need to leave. Where do I go? Talking is good.