(no subject)
My room is a jail cell. I can't sleep in here. So I just won't sleep.
I think I've become more aware of myself and my body in the past few days than I ever have in my entire life. I know exactly what I need for sustinance, what I need to do to get what result. I feel in control. I hope this lasts.
Fuck...silent jail cell...time for music.
You know the character Winona Ryder played in Girl, Interrupted? For some reason, I really want to be her. At the end of the movie. She's so beautiful and so intelligent and so...together. She's beautiful because she's crazy. Sick and perfect.
God. Wherever I am right now, it's sort of lonely. I wish I could think about something else. It's like...everything is dark...monochrome...sterile. Unfeeling and uncaring. And why does my chest hurt? Or is that my spine?
And the ceiling is such a simple expanse of artificial beauty. But it's so, so cold down here.
Where do we go now?
I think I've become more aware of myself and my body in the past few days than I ever have in my entire life. I know exactly what I need for sustinance, what I need to do to get what result. I feel in control. I hope this lasts.
Fuck...silent jail cell...time for music.
You know the character Winona Ryder played in Girl, Interrupted? For some reason, I really want to be her. At the end of the movie. She's so beautiful and so intelligent and so...together. She's beautiful because she's crazy. Sick and perfect.
God. Wherever I am right now, it's sort of lonely. I wish I could think about something else. It's like...everything is dark...monochrome...sterile. Unfeeling and uncaring. And why does my chest hurt? Or is that my spine?
And the ceiling is such a simple expanse of artificial beauty. But it's so, so cold down here.
Where do we go now?