You are beautiful
Someone said one word to me today and guess what: I remember what I was going to say. I guess I'll just make this entry chapter seven in my "book" and mix in a little of my previous entry and we'll call it fin. A lot of you know my brother, Josh. And a lot of you know I talk about him (positively) all the time. You also know that I am sort of "following in his footsteps." What a lot of you don't realize is what kind of role Josh has had to play in my life. Not only has he played the big brother role, but he's also played a part as the closest thing to a father figure I have. Growing up (not that I've stopped), I never had anyone to say, "Kae, you're beautiful," in the father-like way. I mean, I've heard it from friends, boyfriends, and magazines, but never from the Hero or Prince Charming that I call daddy. Josh adopted that role at age sixteen, when our parents divorced (as mentioned in previous entry). In doing so, he took a lot on himself. He was now the man of the house. I most definitely look up to him and I don't think any of you understand how much I respect him and love him. None of you except my sister and I know how awesome of a man he is. While Josh was somewhere around North Carolina (on the AT) he wrote me a long-awaited letter. He was basically explaining what I am telling you now about our childhood and family life, or lack thereof. Towards the end of the letter, he said, "Kaeli, you are beautiful." And that wasn't a superficial remark regarding the rest of the letter. That was probably the most sincere thing anyone has ever said to me. Because of that, I realize now how blessed I am to have Josh as my brother. Now, I understand why some of you roll your eyes when you hear me say that I want to go to Sweden, go to Montreat, and hike the AT, but I hope now you know why I want to do all these things. Although I want to follow in his footsteps, I have different motives than he does about doing these things. Some of his were to find God and see what kind of man he should become. Mine are to learn to trust God and be the woman I can become.
I guess I'm just writing this because I love my brother so much, and my thanks to him doesn't give it justice. He has set such an example for me spiritually.. Even for those of you who don't know him, he has left a legacy in me that I hope you all see. So, Josh, if you're reading this, I just want to say thanks. The most sincere thanks I have in me, and I love you. Never stop believing and keep lookin' up. All of you.
Beauifully broken,
Kae
I guess I'm just writing this because I love my brother so much, and my thanks to him doesn't give it justice. He has set such an example for me spiritually.. Even for those of you who don't know him, he has left a legacy in me that I hope you all see. So, Josh, if you're reading this, I just want to say thanks. The most sincere thanks I have in me, and I love you. Never stop believing and keep lookin' up. All of you.
Beauifully broken,
Kae