028. Can Hardly Breathe - February/March - Rambles & Snippets - Fiction[NET]
They sat out on the deck, waiting for the sun to rise and for time to tick over until they could leave for their next job. It seemed to be taking ages, maybe because things were different now. Not in a bad way, not at all… it wasn’t anything like that. Things were simply different and that’s all there was to it.
Jairdan side-glanced his partner and then shook his head, catching her attention. She had been girlishly staring off at the sun peeking over the mountains - which was wrong. Vera was never like that, never so girly with that soft look on her face as she thought of her.
"What's it like?" Jairdan tried to sound bored, as if it was just a casual question of which he didn't really care for, but she knew him too well - she knew.
She thought about the answer for a while, making Jairdan think she wasn't even going to answer. Finally, though; "She makes me feel like I can hardly breathe." Vera smiled softly to herself.
"That doesn't sound too nice." Jairdan shrugged, blunt.
"Oh, no. It's a good thing." Vera's voice was still soft - she didn't sound like his partner anymore. She sounded years older, as if she was so far beyond him that he would never be able to catch up. "It's like... how do I describe it... ...Like, as if... everything stands still and goes all fuzzy around you... and you have your own world where only the two of you exist, you're the only people there and nothing matters... not even breathing. That's why it feels like I can hardly breathe... it feels like I don't need to anymore."
Jairdan remained quiet, taking it all in. The emotion in her voice could have made him believe anything at that moment, and he didn't like it.
"Hope I never feel like that." he said finally, not in control of his own words. "You need to breathe, Vera. If someone else has that much control over you... it's not a good thing." he got to his feet; “It could be the end of you.” He finished, and headed off down to the cockpit, his boots clicking on the cold metal. He waited for the guilt to come. He understood that she would be hurt by that but somehow... the guilt just never came. Because... well, he was right, wasn't he? Such weakness could never be a good thing. To be that vulnerable to another? She'd seen as well as he had what that could do to a person. Countless partnerships had broken up when one had backstabbed the other when the money was too good…
“Jairdan!” she was suddenly behind and following him, but she wasn’t looking angry or hurt, or anything. She looked… like…
“I hope you get the pleasure of understanding what I mean one day too.” Was all she said. She squeezed his arm as she brushed by, leaving Jairdan staring at her from behind.
<--- 027. Nightmare || 029. Tucked Away --->
Jairdan side-glanced his partner and then shook his head, catching her attention. She had been girlishly staring off at the sun peeking over the mountains - which was wrong. Vera was never like that, never so girly with that soft look on her face as she thought of her.
"What's it like?" Jairdan tried to sound bored, as if it was just a casual question of which he didn't really care for, but she knew him too well - she knew.
She thought about the answer for a while, making Jairdan think she wasn't even going to answer. Finally, though; "She makes me feel like I can hardly breathe." Vera smiled softly to herself.
"That doesn't sound too nice." Jairdan shrugged, blunt.
"Oh, no. It's a good thing." Vera's voice was still soft - she didn't sound like his partner anymore. She sounded years older, as if she was so far beyond him that he would never be able to catch up. "It's like... how do I describe it... ...Like, as if... everything stands still and goes all fuzzy around you... and you have your own world where only the two of you exist, you're the only people there and nothing matters... not even breathing. That's why it feels like I can hardly breathe... it feels like I don't need to anymore."
Jairdan remained quiet, taking it all in. The emotion in her voice could have made him believe anything at that moment, and he didn't like it.
"Hope I never feel like that." he said finally, not in control of his own words. "You need to breathe, Vera. If someone else has that much control over you... it's not a good thing." he got to his feet; “It could be the end of you.” He finished, and headed off down to the cockpit, his boots clicking on the cold metal. He waited for the guilt to come. He understood that she would be hurt by that but somehow... the guilt just never came. Because... well, he was right, wasn't he? Such weakness could never be a good thing. To be that vulnerable to another? She'd seen as well as he had what that could do to a person. Countless partnerships had broken up when one had backstabbed the other when the money was too good…
“Jairdan!” she was suddenly behind and following him, but she wasn’t looking angry or hurt, or anything. She looked… like…
“I hope you get the pleasure of understanding what I mean one day too.” Was all she said. She squeezed his arm as she brushed by, leaving Jairdan staring at her from behind.
<--- 027. Nightmare || 029. Tucked Away --->