(no subject)
A couple of nights ago Juan and I got into it really bad, whereas he told me “whatever” when we hung up the phone. I don’t take that bull, so I haven’t called him, at all. I’m thinking to myself that I need to let go of him, friendship and all. Because if he can’t treat me with decent respect because I’m his “ex girlfriend” then it’s stupid to even try to be friends when I’m treated like shit compared to everyone else. I loved that boy, I loved him more than anyone could ever imagine, but I’m not his toy, either. I don’t know what else I have to do for him to understand the way that I feel, for once. I’m not asking him to kiss my ass and to tell me how much he loves me, all I am asking for is a FRIENDSHIP without the weirdness, but he won’t have it. He rather make both of our lives miserable because of our past together. We have to let it go, it’s that simple, he and I split up, and now he’s with someone else, and now he has to eat his cake.
Anyhow, last night I got to talk to Mike, and it was really nice, because I hadn’t seen him in awhile. We talked about his dog, my dog, my family, his job, school, Texas, Wisconsin, all of it, I was outside almost 40 minutes, and only 5 of those minutes was taking my dog potty. He’s really cool, I think we’ll be really good friends. I hope he doesn’t want anything else, because that’ll make it really difficult on me, because I did have a crush on him, but now that I’m trying to be with Carlos, it would make it difficult if Mike had feelings for me, too. I want to hang out with him this weekend.
Also, I found out that I am not coming to Denton THIS weekend, but NEXT weekend, and William is going to be upset with me, because I told him it was going to be THIS weekend! I didn’t know, we are sending Daniel on a plane this weekend, and next weekend we are driving. Which really sucks, because now how am I going to spend time with Will, Vernon, Sarah, and Nathan? This blows, indeed it does, because I was hoping and praying for this. My mom apologized to me for the mix up. I don’t really see the point of us even going up there the 7th because that’s the day I was supposed to get my Pomeranian but I’m not getting her now, I have to wait until we get the settlement so I can get a Pomeranian for normal price, and at least I’ll be able to pick out one? I want a black Pomeranian; I haven’t ever seen one, only really white and cream. Is there black Pomeranians??
Anyway, I still haven’t received a letter from Carlos, and I’m anxious and antsy for his next letter. I’m in dire need to read his handwriting, and to feel better. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and he makes me THINK, and I enjoy that. He is so intelligent, and I need an intelligent man in my life for once, instead of the assholes I have dealt with in my past.
Juan really pushed my buttons, and I’m even thinking about not calling him on Friday (our would-be 2 year anniversary) but I know that would be a really bad horrible feeling for me, and for him. I know he’s dreading that day, too. He can say up and down that “oh how he loves Annie” but what he can’t understand is that the fact that he’s never going to forget about me, even if he ends up with her for life, or with whoever, he’s going to think about me. I put a big impression on his life, but when I left out of his life, he went back to being the asshole that he was before he met me. So I guess, I need to just leave him alone, and let him go back to being the “funny” guy, the one that girls would walk all over, and the guy that didn’t care about anything. So I guess that’s how things work out, he changed his life for almost 2 years for me, so now I’m out of it, and I’m staying out of it. If he can’t be my friend, then why should I keep calling him long distance and staying up all night on the phone with him when I could be asleep! I don’t have time to waste on feeling sad about Juan anymore, I need to move on, and it’s time for me to just get over him.
Anyway, I still haven’t been able to get a hold of William, because when I am at home I am doing something with my mom or doing homework, and I don’t think about calling him until it’s too late (when he’s at work or whatever) so, I don’t know how to get in touch with Vernon, for NEXT weekend, and see what him and I can arrange without William. Because I really do want to see Vernon, we had such a great time before I left, and I could use the uplift of his presence.
Well, I’m done babbling, kisses and hugs to everyone that counts.
Anyhow, last night I got to talk to Mike, and it was really nice, because I hadn’t seen him in awhile. We talked about his dog, my dog, my family, his job, school, Texas, Wisconsin, all of it, I was outside almost 40 minutes, and only 5 of those minutes was taking my dog potty. He’s really cool, I think we’ll be really good friends. I hope he doesn’t want anything else, because that’ll make it really difficult on me, because I did have a crush on him, but now that I’m trying to be with Carlos, it would make it difficult if Mike had feelings for me, too. I want to hang out with him this weekend.
Also, I found out that I am not coming to Denton THIS weekend, but NEXT weekend, and William is going to be upset with me, because I told him it was going to be THIS weekend! I didn’t know, we are sending Daniel on a plane this weekend, and next weekend we are driving. Which really sucks, because now how am I going to spend time with Will, Vernon, Sarah, and Nathan? This blows, indeed it does, because I was hoping and praying for this. My mom apologized to me for the mix up. I don’t really see the point of us even going up there the 7th because that’s the day I was supposed to get my Pomeranian but I’m not getting her now, I have to wait until we get the settlement so I can get a Pomeranian for normal price, and at least I’ll be able to pick out one? I want a black Pomeranian; I haven’t ever seen one, only really white and cream. Is there black Pomeranians??
Anyway, I still haven’t received a letter from Carlos, and I’m anxious and antsy for his next letter. I’m in dire need to read his handwriting, and to feel better. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and he makes me THINK, and I enjoy that. He is so intelligent, and I need an intelligent man in my life for once, instead of the assholes I have dealt with in my past.
Juan really pushed my buttons, and I’m even thinking about not calling him on Friday (our would-be 2 year anniversary) but I know that would be a really bad horrible feeling for me, and for him. I know he’s dreading that day, too. He can say up and down that “oh how he loves Annie” but what he can’t understand is that the fact that he’s never going to forget about me, even if he ends up with her for life, or with whoever, he’s going to think about me. I put a big impression on his life, but when I left out of his life, he went back to being the asshole that he was before he met me. So I guess, I need to just leave him alone, and let him go back to being the “funny” guy, the one that girls would walk all over, and the guy that didn’t care about anything. So I guess that’s how things work out, he changed his life for almost 2 years for me, so now I’m out of it, and I’m staying out of it. If he can’t be my friend, then why should I keep calling him long distance and staying up all night on the phone with him when I could be asleep! I don’t have time to waste on feeling sad about Juan anymore, I need to move on, and it’s time for me to just get over him.
Anyway, I still haven’t been able to get a hold of William, because when I am at home I am doing something with my mom or doing homework, and I don’t think about calling him until it’s too late (when he’s at work or whatever) so, I don’t know how to get in touch with Vernon, for NEXT weekend, and see what him and I can arrange without William. Because I really do want to see Vernon, we had such a great time before I left, and I could use the uplift of his presence.
Well, I’m done babbling, kisses and hugs to everyone that counts.