Inglourious Basterds Picspam - Chapter Four
Zip folder (uploaded at Megaupload, 206.1MB, features the full-sized, unaltered caps, both those used in the picspam and others that have been left out.)
Fassy! <3 Yeah, I have nothing to say here, except that Fassy is great, and that it is going to be difficult addressing him as anything other than Fassy, so you'll have to forgive me if I refer to him as Fassy throughout the picspam, instead of Hicox.
Also, just because I won't get the chance to say it later, "cinemaaah".
Hicox: What should we drink to, sir?
Fenech: Well... down with Hitler.
Hicox: All the way down, sir.
Nope, this doesn't sound dirty at all. Particularly with their British fop accents.
I do love how Myers looks of to the side when he says, "blow up the basket." It's just so absurd, that I can't help but love it.
This has been included for two reasons. One, it amuses me to hear a Brad Pitt character discuss a possible fight in a basement. Two, I felt the need to give Wicki some pic time, because he does get a little neglected, the poor dear. It feels almost criminal to neglect Wicki and his sexy voice (which you can't really picspam as such, but I digress), but we all know who returns in this chapter, don't we?
Hicox: Stiglitz, right?
Stiglitz: That's right, sir.
Hicox: I hear you're pretty good with that.
Stiglitz: I'll show you just how good I can be with this, sir.
Aw, Hicox. You and your completely blatant knifeplay fetish. *pats his head*
You can't help but laugh at just how absurd the actual plan for Operation Kino is, once the three of them step into La Louisiane. They all fail so hard. *ruffles their hair*
This is why I love Stiglitz. He's a very simple man, who just happens to like viciously slaughtering people. Things like standing up when Bridget joins them are just unimportant in the entire scheme of things.
Nothing to say, except that Von Hammersmark is a little bit hot as well. (Consider yourselves lucky, that I don't have random caps for every character that I find hot, just to state that fact. I'd be here forever if that was the case, because I'm pretty sure that I would do the entire cast.)
Aw, I love this bit. Wilhelm is a completely adorable drunk, and Fassy's accent fails so much. I really should have my head examned for finding this scene as adorable as I do.
HELLSTROM. AND HIS BOOT OF BEER!!! <3333
I believe the phrase "dun dun dun" would be appropriate here, but I'm too busy flailing about Hellstrom and his boot. I love Hellstrom and his boot. Hellstrom/boot OTP forever <3
*coughs* Anyway, moving on...
Look at that BAMF. Casually molesting men as he walks post, hmaking people extremely uncomfortable, all the while holding his boot of beer like the fine specimen of manhood that he is.
In other news, the last cap is made of complete win. Stiglitz is far too serious for all of this shit, Wilhelm is completely off his face, and Fassy is smiling like the freaking Chesire Cat. What is there not to love?
Hicox: Attending Minister Goebbels' film premiere as the fraulein's escort.
Hellstrom: Ah. You are the Fraulein Hammersmark's escort.
Hicox: Someone has to carry her lighter.
Yeah, I ship it. It doesn't help that Hicox is in complete fanboy infatuation with her, as well as the fact that Bridget would definitely top.
Awww, poor little Dieter looks so happy to be playing the game, whereas everyone else is just looking at him like he's that creepy uncle who always drinks too much at family gatherings. The poor dear.
...What? Hellstrom licking the back of his card is integral to the plot...
...and anyway, if Tarantino himself can include a whipping scene that has no actual relevance to the plot, I don't see why I can't include a little tongue porn. (Okay, so the whipping might be important in regards to Stiglitz's hatred of the Gestapo. But Hellstrom might really like licking things, and it could be just as important to who he is as a character, and... I'm fighting a losing battle here, aren't I?)
In other news, that flashback could have been so much longer. Just sayin'.
More of Hellstrom being Uncle Major Creeper, making everybody uncomfortable with his Creeper-ness. Just because I can.
Now, I could probably understand how one could argue that this picspam contains too much Hellstrom. I don't agree, but I can see why people could argue that case. But, he looks so adorable while he's trying to figure out who his famous person is. *draws hearts around him*
Hellstrom winking at Stiglitz completely made my day after I noticed it for the first time. Hellstrom/Stiglitz is so cute and fluffy. Hellstrom really wants Stiglitz to like him, while Stiglitz just wants to stick something long and hard into Hellstrom. Oh, boys. *ruffles their hair*
God, if I say that Hellstrom is adorable one more time, I'm going to shoot myself, let alone what you readers must be thinking. When the fuck did it start thinking that Creeper-ness was utterly sweet? Probably the moment that August Diehl portrayed said Creeper-ness.
Fassy. (Oh, okay. Hicox.) Taking fail to a whole new level since 1944.
Also, August is absolutely brilliant in this scene. His whole demeanour changes as soon as Hicox gives the wrong hand signal for "three," but the only way you can tell is to look at his eyes. He lets the audience know that the Basterd's game is up, but Fassy, who isn't looking at his eyes, is none the wiser.
(I'm probably going to spell this wrong, but it needs to be said.) ROUST!
The reason I mention this is due to the drinking game I mentioned in earlier parts of the picspam. Another rule of that drinking game is that you have to take a sip, as well as say that word loudly before taking a sip, every time someone toasts something, and it's two sips if said toast involves a glass that is shaped like a boot.
Hellstrom: Shut up, slut.
Ooh, burn. I could go on to talk about poor Dieter having his new friends turn out to be enemies of the state, but that diminishes the coldness of that insult. Still, I can't help but think it.
Ah, pointing guns at each other's testicles. Their love is so fluffy.
Stiglitz is clearly thinking what I am thinking. THREESOME!
In other news, Hellstrom looks he enjoys the cold movement of Stiglitz's weapon against his crotch far too much. Although, this is hardly surprising - we all know that Hellstrom is a kinky little sod.
Hellstrom: Too bad about Sergeant Wilhelm and his famous friends. If any of you expect to live, you'll have to shoot them too. Looks like little Max will grow up an orphan. How sad.
Yeah, Hellstrom is definitely upset about losing his playmates. It's okay, Dieter dear, I can think of a few people who would more than willing to play with you.
Also, Fassy's eyes kill me in the second cap. The fear and regret is just so clearly evident that you can't help but want to give him a hug, even though he was the one who fucked up in the first place.
Hicox: There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. Seeing as how I may be rapping on the door momentarily...
Just like there is no such thing as gratuituos Hellstrom, one can never have enough of Fassy drinking scotch and smoking a cigarette. Such things are far too important to life, the universe, and everything, to not be spammed the hell out of.
Hicox: Now, about this pickle* we find ourselves in. It would appear there's only one thing left for you to do.
Hellstrom: And what would that be?**
Hicox: Wicki. Stiglitz.
Wicki: *whistles for Kommissar Rex to come and save the day* Stiglitz: Say, "auf Widersehen" to your Nazi balls.
Come on. You know this scene would have been ten times more awesome if the stuff that was crossed out actually happened.
* I am convinced that the word pickle is used due to the fact that Tarantino was writing Hicox with Simon Pegg in mind to play him, and nothing will persude me otherwise.
** God, Hellstrom speaking English does things to me. UNNNNNF!
CARNAGE!!! ACTS OF VIOLENT AND UNREPENTANT GORE IN WHICH ALMOST EVERYONE DIES!!!
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE THIS MOVIE? I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH THAT IF IT WERE A PERSON, I WOULD PROBABLY STALK IT!!
And, just because Stiglitz does seem to delight in killing Hellstrom as brutally as possible. Deeply repressed homoerotic urges, anyone?
IT'S ALIVE!!!
I'm sorry, Bridget. You deserve better than to be referred to as an "it".
Mmm, chicks with guns. Guh.
In other news, poor Willy. As much as I love Hellstrom, it's Willy's death that saddens me the most. Poor Max.
As you may be able to tell, I like gore. This scene contains gore. No other explanation needed.
Bridget: The Fuhrer is attending the premiere.
Hitler: *waffles on about something that your narrator cannot be bothered transcribing*
Donny: Fuck a duck!
I really need to work the phrase, "fuck a duck" into everyday conversation.
Aww, happy times. *starts singing "memories"...*
Landa (reads): To Max, with love. Bridget Von Hammersmark.
DUN DUN DUN!
In other news, only in a Tarantino movie would a shoe be used to thicken the plot.