update
I'm trying to get myself in the mood to write, so I've decided to update my journal.
I've been in Albuquerque since August 17, and I haven't done any real schoolwork the whole time I've been here. It's not that I haven't tried. I've sat down in front of my computer several times (which takes a lot of coaxing on my part) and seriously tried to do work, but it's like I've got some sort of brick wall in my brain. I've also been really depressed on and off. Getting myself out of bed on days like that is impossible; it's not uncommon for me to stay in bed with the covers pulled around me in a cocoon until 4 or 5 pm. What sucks about clinical depression is that I usually can't pinpoint a specific reason for feeling the way I'm feeling. It's like I have no control over my brain. It's the same way with my OCD. I get into one of my moods and as badly as I want to stop whatever it is that I'm doing, I can't.
I am seeing a new psychiatrist here. I've seen him twice so far. I wasn't sure about him after the first visit, but I'm really starting to gain confidence in him. I told him about my depression spells and my utter lack of motivation, which are really posing problems for me with my upcoming deadline of December 12 to finish all of my incomplete work. We talked about a lot of issues that could be causing me to have no motivation, but the fact remains that I can't deal with those issues right now with my deadline a little more than two months away. His plan? Ritalin. I took the first dose yesterday, and I actually felt motivated to sit down and do some work. My brain kept going off on lots of tangents, though. The big deal-breaker was when my package arrived (more on that later). Today, I got up at 8 and took my Ritalin around 45 minutes later. I proceeded to make myself some coffee and breakfast. As time went on, I could really feel "something happening." Right now I am more wired than I've ever been in my life. I'm sitting here at the table, swinging my feet, and words are just coming to me. I don't even feel like I'm thinking before I type; both processes seem to be happening at the same time. I think I'm starting to ramble.
* * *
I am now the proud "owner" of three carnivorous plants: an asian pitcher plant, lance sundew, and Mexican butterwort. More on the plants later, as I get to know them. I'm still moving into my apartment, but I've got most of the furniture there (including a very nice bed!), and the majority of the boxes. Hardly anything is unpacked, but with all the schoolwork I'm trying to unpack as necessity precipitates. The kitten is doing well, but boy is she a little demon. Things are going absolutely wonderfully with Mike and Siobhan. Yesterday we went to the Special Shapes balloon glow and had lots of fun. I'll post pictures soon.
* * *
I think that's about it. Time to get some schoolwork done!
I've been in Albuquerque since August 17, and I haven't done any real schoolwork the whole time I've been here. It's not that I haven't tried. I've sat down in front of my computer several times (which takes a lot of coaxing on my part) and seriously tried to do work, but it's like I've got some sort of brick wall in my brain. I've also been really depressed on and off. Getting myself out of bed on days like that is impossible; it's not uncommon for me to stay in bed with the covers pulled around me in a cocoon until 4 or 5 pm. What sucks about clinical depression is that I usually can't pinpoint a specific reason for feeling the way I'm feeling. It's like I have no control over my brain. It's the same way with my OCD. I get into one of my moods and as badly as I want to stop whatever it is that I'm doing, I can't.
I am seeing a new psychiatrist here. I've seen him twice so far. I wasn't sure about him after the first visit, but I'm really starting to gain confidence in him. I told him about my depression spells and my utter lack of motivation, which are really posing problems for me with my upcoming deadline of December 12 to finish all of my incomplete work. We talked about a lot of issues that could be causing me to have no motivation, but the fact remains that I can't deal with those issues right now with my deadline a little more than two months away. His plan? Ritalin. I took the first dose yesterday, and I actually felt motivated to sit down and do some work. My brain kept going off on lots of tangents, though. The big deal-breaker was when my package arrived (more on that later). Today, I got up at 8 and took my Ritalin around 45 minutes later. I proceeded to make myself some coffee and breakfast. As time went on, I could really feel "something happening." Right now I am more wired than I've ever been in my life. I'm sitting here at the table, swinging my feet, and words are just coming to me. I don't even feel like I'm thinking before I type; both processes seem to be happening at the same time. I think I'm starting to ramble.
* * *
I am now the proud "owner" of three carnivorous plants: an asian pitcher plant, lance sundew, and Mexican butterwort. More on the plants later, as I get to know them. I'm still moving into my apartment, but I've got most of the furniture there (including a very nice bed!), and the majority of the boxes. Hardly anything is unpacked, but with all the schoolwork I'm trying to unpack as necessity precipitates. The kitten is doing well, but boy is she a little demon. Things are going absolutely wonderfully with Mike and Siobhan. Yesterday we went to the Special Shapes balloon glow and had lots of fun. I'll post pictures soon.
* * *
I think that's about it. Time to get some schoolwork done!