unmotivated
I'm feeling the cramp of Christmas. It isn't supposed to feel this way. I want it to be a time for basking in the light of the idea that some time ago a baby was born that grew up to save the rest of the humans from never being able to have a relationship with God. I want to be focusing, and relaxing. Instead, I am constantly thinking "how am I ever going to get all of this done?", especially now because Josh is leaving for ten days beginning Monday. Right smack dab in the middle of it all. And you know what....I like food so much better than other stuff. I'd rather just make everyone cake and zucchini bread and popcorn balls and peanut butter balls and be done with it. Actually, I am really enjoying handmaking gifts this year. It is a thousand times more pleasurable than going shopping for something, something, something - something to hide under pretty paper, and hope the person likes. A handmade treasure. Thought, sometimes prayer, time, and work put into something, to make something, for someone. As kids we always got pajamas on Christmas Eve. So I started making pajamas for the kids to open on Christmas Eve. They're finally old enough to know what it will be. And it is harder now to make, because they aren't babies anymore. I have to sew at night when they are in bed, and really all I want to be doing then is settling down with a glass of wine and my husband. So where is my heart, if not in it?
I sent the kids all upstairs to take a nap today. They are all cranky and crabby. They are laying down quietly and I decided to work on my sisters gift. I'm afraid to post it here in case she reads it. But that is not my point anyway, my point is that here I am; and at the sewing machine, I am not. I have knitting to do, and heaps, and heaps of sewing. I usually leave Christmas baking to the last minute and just bake all day for a few days in a row. Since we're fairly new here, we dont know too many people, and I won't have much baking to do. I am feeling so unmotivated today. I just cleaned up the cinnamon rolls I made for breakfast about an hour ago. I am not even dressed yet. I haven't even brushed my teeth. I let the kids eat sugary cinnamon rolls with vanilla glaze frosting for breakfast (hey, and a glass of milk), paint a million pictures, slide down the stairs in a laundry basket a thousand times until they started chipping paint off the wall, and eat cheese sticks for lunch. How is that for motivated! Maybe I'll go drink a cup of coffee.......
I sent the kids all upstairs to take a nap today. They are all cranky and crabby. They are laying down quietly and I decided to work on my sisters gift. I'm afraid to post it here in case she reads it. But that is not my point anyway, my point is that here I am; and at the sewing machine, I am not. I have knitting to do, and heaps, and heaps of sewing. I usually leave Christmas baking to the last minute and just bake all day for a few days in a row. Since we're fairly new here, we dont know too many people, and I won't have much baking to do. I am feeling so unmotivated today. I just cleaned up the cinnamon rolls I made for breakfast about an hour ago. I am not even dressed yet. I haven't even brushed my teeth. I let the kids eat sugary cinnamon rolls with vanilla glaze frosting for breakfast (hey, and a glass of milk), paint a million pictures, slide down the stairs in a laundry basket a thousand times until they started chipping paint off the wall, and eat cheese sticks for lunch. How is that for motivated! Maybe I'll go drink a cup of coffee.......