How do you deal with the stress of an academic job search when your partner is also an academic?I didn't, I opted out. My partner and me finished our PhDs at the same time, but she was much more strategic and career-focussed during her PhD, meaning that she was 2-3 years ahead of me in terms of the job market. I could see what I'd have to do to get to where she was (getting 3-8 month contracts in various places around the UK, some with an element of teaching, some without), and didn't much fancy it
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Randomly, it's one of the things I like about being in a same-sex relationship: I don't think I would deal well if I was in the same situation and it had JUST HAPPENED to fall along the usual gender lines.
I feel as though there's a really useful essay in that second comment. (You may not want to write it, no longer being an academic, but it would be interesting.)
It's definitely a hard thing to come to grips with. For the longest time I think that part of my aversion to leaving academia was that I didn't want to be one more woman leaving academia due to family. But the fact of the matter is, I have non-academic opportunities in my field and he doesn't. And if the academy doesn't give a shit about our problems, I don't give a shit about it.
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