SG-1 Fic: Important Cultural Traditions
Title: Important Cultural Traditions
Author: Abyssinia
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Characters: Daniel, Vala, Sam, Teal'c, Cam
Rating/Warning: PG
Word Count: 1137 words
Author's Note: This is mostly zats_clear's fault, though I also blame the naked pumpkin run.
Summary: Vala has remarkable powers of persuasion.
Daniel knew he was in trouble the second he slid into the booth at IHOP, where Mitchell had started holding occasional team breakfasts. Sam was trying a little too hard to hide a grin behind her coffee mug and Vala was reading the morning newspaper a little too intently.
"Daniel!" Vala announced. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mitchell focusing very, very intently on his waffles. "Have you ever heard of a -" she paused, squinting at the newspaper and focusing intently "- naked pumpkin run?"
Daniel blinked at her, decided he didn't want to know, and turned to Mitchell. "Is Landry still considering finally sending us to P38-937?" he asked. Daniel had been hoping to get back to the Ancient ruins SG-8 found for months now, but General Landry kept pulling the mission.
Mitchell shook his head, opening his mouth to respond, but Vala jumped in first. "I don't know how you expect me to be able to blend in when you won't teach me your important cultural traditions."
Daniel's head snapped back. "Shakespeare is an important cultural tradition. Opera. Mark Twain. Fireworks. Heck, Jack would rightly throw in baseball. Whatever this naked thing you're reading about is, it's not going to help you blend in."
"How will I know if I don't get to experience it?" Vala pouted.
Daniel sighed, hoping the waitress came back soon. He hated dealing with Vala before coffee. "We're allowed to take you off base provided you stay out of trouble."
"So you guys should all take me. It's only a few hours away. Four of you, one of me. How much trouble could I get into?" Vala asked, batting her eyelashes.
"No."
"How about a deal?"
"No."
"If I can get General Landry to let us go look at those rocks you are so fascinated to see, can we go?"
Daniel considered the odds of Landry putting it back in their rotation anytime soon. And the odds of her ever stopping pestering him about it. He looked at Sam, who just smiled at him. One of these days she's going to need backup and he's just going to smile. "Fine."
**************
The ruins on P3S-937 were fascinating, though empty of any space weapons or fancy technology to utilize. The second they stepped back through the 'gate Vala turned to him, grinned like the cheshire cat, and announced, "Halloween's tomorrow. Pick Teal'c and I up at 5?"
Daniel just groaned.
*************
Daniel drove north, fedora perched on his head and whip handle digging into his thigh (nothing could convince Vala that Indiana Jones wasn't a true archaeologist, and when he realized she'd recruited Sam to her side, he gave up protesting). Beside him Teal'c sat in black robes, Darth Vadar mask on his lap and serene smile on his face. In his rear view mirror he could just see a zombie-fied Mitchell sitting next to Sam in a NASA flight suit and Vala dressed as a...fairy princess dominatrix thing.
"Remind me again why we had to dress like this," he muttered, glaring at the traffic around downtown Denver.
"It is traditional to dress as someone you are not," Teal'c rumbled next to him. Daniel was positive he was enjoying every minute of this.
"Right," he muttered, finding the interchange for 36.
"Daniel, did someone give you an apple with a razor blade when you were a kid?" Mitchell called from the backseat.
Trying to find a parking spot near Boulder was a mess, but Daniel managed to snag one only a few blocks from downtown. As they piled out of the car, Vala made a beeline for the trunk, where she and Sam had stashed something earlier. She carefully handed one carved pumpkin to each of them. Daniel's appeared to be wearing glasses.
"I thought we were coming to watch," Daniel told her.
"It never hurts to be prepared," Vala grinned. "Mitchell told me that's the motto of every boy scout. I like it."
When they hit Pearl Street, Daniel kept losing Sam and Mitchell as they wandered in and out of various bars, and Vala soaked in the costumes, grin getting larger by the minute. Teal'c, meanwhile, kept disappearing to watch the various magicians and jugglers performing along the street.
"Okay," Vala announced, coming back from where she'd snuck away to talk to someone. "We need to head two blocks west."
Sam had slipped him a few beers as the night progressed, and Daniel figured the evening would be over more quickly if he just followed. But he wasn't expecting Vala, two blocks later, to duck behind a building a begin unlacing the corset she'd stuffed herself into earlier.
"What're you doing?"
"Well I can't fully understand the cultural appeal if I only watch, can I?" Vala smiled, bending over to unlace her boots. "Though I suppose if you want to keep me out of trouble, you'll have to join me."
"You can't be serious."
"Oh, come now, it can't be worse than what those lovely natives on that planet with that fungus convinced you to do."
Daniel rolled his eyes and turned around for support, only to find Sam and Mitchell calmly removing their costumes. To his left Teal'c was standing smuggly in shoes and pumpkin, though he'd kept the black cape.
"Face it Daniel, you're outnumbered," Vala said, stepping forward to reach his shirt buttons as someone behind him - probably Sam - lowered his pumpkin over his head.
"Hey, man, wicked scar," someone commented to Teal'c, pointing to his stomach, as Vala proudly led them out to a mob of naked people wearing pumpkins. "That looks like it hurt."
"Less than you imagine," Teal'c told him.
"I'm just saying, if we..." Daniel started to say, but there was a shout from the crowd as everyone surged forward and he joined in, losing track of the rest of his team in the pumpkin-headed mob.
*****************
"You wanted a phone call," the police officer asked. They'd been kind enough to give Daniel some clothing, though bright orange jumpsuits weren't exactly his thing. Daniel stood as the man unlocked the bars, wondering how long it would have taken Sam to pick the lock.
"Have to say, you've got quite the unusual file," the man said, leading him down the hallway. "Suspected multiple faked deaths, breaking and entering, kidnapping, and yet not one arrest."
"Yes, well, I live an interesting life," Daniel muttered, only half paying attention. He was not looking forward to this phone call.
The man gestured to a phone and he dialed before the jail cell could look like a better option. A grumpy voice answered on the third ring, "O'Neill."
"Hey, Jack."
"Daniel, it's three in the morning."
"Yeah, well, remember how you said to call you if I ever got arrested..."
This entry was originally posted at dreamwidth
. Replies are welcome on either post.
Author: Abyssinia
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Characters: Daniel, Vala, Sam, Teal'c, Cam
Rating/Warning: PG
Word Count: 1137 words
Author's Note: This is mostly zats_clear's fault, though I also blame the naked pumpkin run.
Summary: Vala has remarkable powers of persuasion.
Daniel knew he was in trouble the second he slid into the booth at IHOP, where Mitchell had started holding occasional team breakfasts. Sam was trying a little too hard to hide a grin behind her coffee mug and Vala was reading the morning newspaper a little too intently.
"Daniel!" Vala announced. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mitchell focusing very, very intently on his waffles. "Have you ever heard of a -" she paused, squinting at the newspaper and focusing intently "- naked pumpkin run?"
Daniel blinked at her, decided he didn't want to know, and turned to Mitchell. "Is Landry still considering finally sending us to P38-937?" he asked. Daniel had been hoping to get back to the Ancient ruins SG-8 found for months now, but General Landry kept pulling the mission.
Mitchell shook his head, opening his mouth to respond, but Vala jumped in first. "I don't know how you expect me to be able to blend in when you won't teach me your important cultural traditions."
Daniel's head snapped back. "Shakespeare is an important cultural tradition. Opera. Mark Twain. Fireworks. Heck, Jack would rightly throw in baseball. Whatever this naked thing you're reading about is, it's not going to help you blend in."
"How will I know if I don't get to experience it?" Vala pouted.
Daniel sighed, hoping the waitress came back soon. He hated dealing with Vala before coffee. "We're allowed to take you off base provided you stay out of trouble."
"So you guys should all take me. It's only a few hours away. Four of you, one of me. How much trouble could I get into?" Vala asked, batting her eyelashes.
"No."
"How about a deal?"
"No."
"If I can get General Landry to let us go look at those rocks you are so fascinated to see, can we go?"
Daniel considered the odds of Landry putting it back in their rotation anytime soon. And the odds of her ever stopping pestering him about it. He looked at Sam, who just smiled at him. One of these days she's going to need backup and he's just going to smile. "Fine."
**************
The ruins on P3S-937 were fascinating, though empty of any space weapons or fancy technology to utilize. The second they stepped back through the 'gate Vala turned to him, grinned like the cheshire cat, and announced, "Halloween's tomorrow. Pick Teal'c and I up at 5?"
Daniel just groaned.
*************
Daniel drove north, fedora perched on his head and whip handle digging into his thigh (nothing could convince Vala that Indiana Jones wasn't a true archaeologist, and when he realized she'd recruited Sam to her side, he gave up protesting). Beside him Teal'c sat in black robes, Darth Vadar mask on his lap and serene smile on his face. In his rear view mirror he could just see a zombie-fied Mitchell sitting next to Sam in a NASA flight suit and Vala dressed as a...fairy princess dominatrix thing.
"Remind me again why we had to dress like this," he muttered, glaring at the traffic around downtown Denver.
"It is traditional to dress as someone you are not," Teal'c rumbled next to him. Daniel was positive he was enjoying every minute of this.
"Right," he muttered, finding the interchange for 36.
"Daniel, did someone give you an apple with a razor blade when you were a kid?" Mitchell called from the backseat.
Trying to find a parking spot near Boulder was a mess, but Daniel managed to snag one only a few blocks from downtown. As they piled out of the car, Vala made a beeline for the trunk, where she and Sam had stashed something earlier. She carefully handed one carved pumpkin to each of them. Daniel's appeared to be wearing glasses.
"I thought we were coming to watch," Daniel told her.
"It never hurts to be prepared," Vala grinned. "Mitchell told me that's the motto of every boy scout. I like it."
When they hit Pearl Street, Daniel kept losing Sam and Mitchell as they wandered in and out of various bars, and Vala soaked in the costumes, grin getting larger by the minute. Teal'c, meanwhile, kept disappearing to watch the various magicians and jugglers performing along the street.
"Okay," Vala announced, coming back from where she'd snuck away to talk to someone. "We need to head two blocks west."
Sam had slipped him a few beers as the night progressed, and Daniel figured the evening would be over more quickly if he just followed. But he wasn't expecting Vala, two blocks later, to duck behind a building a begin unlacing the corset she'd stuffed herself into earlier.
"What're you doing?"
"Well I can't fully understand the cultural appeal if I only watch, can I?" Vala smiled, bending over to unlace her boots. "Though I suppose if you want to keep me out of trouble, you'll have to join me."
"You can't be serious."
"Oh, come now, it can't be worse than what those lovely natives on that planet with that fungus convinced you to do."
Daniel rolled his eyes and turned around for support, only to find Sam and Mitchell calmly removing their costumes. To his left Teal'c was standing smuggly in shoes and pumpkin, though he'd kept the black cape.
"Face it Daniel, you're outnumbered," Vala said, stepping forward to reach his shirt buttons as someone behind him - probably Sam - lowered his pumpkin over his head.
"Hey, man, wicked scar," someone commented to Teal'c, pointing to his stomach, as Vala proudly led them out to a mob of naked people wearing pumpkins. "That looks like it hurt."
"Less than you imagine," Teal'c told him.
"I'm just saying, if we..." Daniel started to say, but there was a shout from the crowd as everyone surged forward and he joined in, losing track of the rest of his team in the pumpkin-headed mob.
*****************
"You wanted a phone call," the police officer asked. They'd been kind enough to give Daniel some clothing, though bright orange jumpsuits weren't exactly his thing. Daniel stood as the man unlocked the bars, wondering how long it would have taken Sam to pick the lock.
"Have to say, you've got quite the unusual file," the man said, leading him down the hallway. "Suspected multiple faked deaths, breaking and entering, kidnapping, and yet not one arrest."
"Yes, well, I live an interesting life," Daniel muttered, only half paying attention. He was not looking forward to this phone call.
The man gestured to a phone and he dialed before the jail cell could look like a better option. A grumpy voice answered on the third ring, "O'Neill."
"Hey, Jack."
"Daniel, it's three in the morning."
"Yeah, well, remember how you said to call you if I ever got arrested..."
This entry was originally posted at dreamwidth
. Replies are welcome on either post.