Heart’s Pounding; hc_bingo
Title: Heart’s Pounding
Fandom: Star Wars
Prompt: Corporal Punishment
Medium: Fic
Wordcount: 532
Rating: PG
Warnings: Heavily implied abuse
Summary: Anakin knows he's not supposed to be like this.
AN: This is supposed to be not how to have a BDSM (or Dom/Sub) relationship. The title of this fic comes from "Bon Bon Chocolat" by EVERGLOW.
He flinches away from the sound, echoing off the walls. They’re not even in the room with the whip, but the sound is enough for him to remember all the times Master hurt him for not doing as they said.
Anakin doesn’t like to disappoint his Master, doesn’t like the physical punishment or the guilt, and he’s never told why he’s being punished. He does what he does because he feels it’s right (for him), and Master always gets angry when he does something they don’t like.
He feels like he’s being punished because Master can punish him, but Anakin has something to protect him.
The contract.
Sometimes, he deviates away from the rules lain out, but he does so because it’s in his best interest to not follow those rules-which he thinks is allowed. If he can justify it. And there’s the problem.
Anakin is impulsive most of the time, if you ask the friends he doesn’t have anymore. He does things without thinking of the consequences beyond the immediate-immediate gratification. He jumps to explore this side of him, signing away his life, in a sense, to see how he feels about this lifestyle.
It’s embarrassing, really, this situation, if he thinks about it. He’s embarrassed by this side of him, the side that wants to submit and not think and just serve, and so he’s cut people out of his life to avoid that shame.
He also is stuck here because of that contract. He can’t end it without both parties agreeing to it-even if it’s not legally binding. He’s ashamed of everything, and he thinks it’ll be easier to stick it out through this mess instead of facing the fact that he’s ruined everything with his own impulsivity.
The physical punishments, the whippings and floggings and burnings, are easier to handle than the vague sense of guilt he carries with him, even when he’s supposed to go under.
But he still doesn’t like the feeling of a whip against his back. It’s hard to ignore the way Master uses the whip as they please. The marks burn with pain and shame-he can be better, be perfect for Master-and he hates it.
And maybe a small part of him resents how he’s treated like a lesser being. He’s been treated like that before his arrival in the city. He tries to forget the small boy that allowed himself to be used, but Master likes to remind him.
It’s small things, the way Master talks to him, talks down to him at times, like he’s stupid. Anakin isn’t stupid. He thinks Master is testing him, but he doesn’t like it because it feels like a test he’ll fail.
A trap.
Anakin knows that he’s easy to ignite-easy to prey on, as his former friends like to tell him-but it’s hard to ignore his instinct to defend himself. It comes from a past filled with those that chose to punish him to make themselves feel better.
And a small of him knows it’s wrong, letting Master treat him this way, but he doesn’t want out. He doesn’t.
If he repeats it enough, it’ll be true.
Fandom: Star Wars
Prompt: Corporal Punishment
Medium: Fic
Wordcount: 532
Rating: PG
Warnings: Heavily implied abuse
Summary: Anakin knows he's not supposed to be like this.
AN: This is supposed to be not how to have a BDSM (or Dom/Sub) relationship. The title of this fic comes from "Bon Bon Chocolat" by EVERGLOW.
He flinches away from the sound, echoing off the walls. They’re not even in the room with the whip, but the sound is enough for him to remember all the times Master hurt him for not doing as they said.
Anakin doesn’t like to disappoint his Master, doesn’t like the physical punishment or the guilt, and he’s never told why he’s being punished. He does what he does because he feels it’s right (for him), and Master always gets angry when he does something they don’t like.
He feels like he’s being punished because Master can punish him, but Anakin has something to protect him.
The contract.
Sometimes, he deviates away from the rules lain out, but he does so because it’s in his best interest to not follow those rules-which he thinks is allowed. If he can justify it. And there’s the problem.
Anakin is impulsive most of the time, if you ask the friends he doesn’t have anymore. He does things without thinking of the consequences beyond the immediate-immediate gratification. He jumps to explore this side of him, signing away his life, in a sense, to see how he feels about this lifestyle.
It’s embarrassing, really, this situation, if he thinks about it. He’s embarrassed by this side of him, the side that wants to submit and not think and just serve, and so he’s cut people out of his life to avoid that shame.
He also is stuck here because of that contract. He can’t end it without both parties agreeing to it-even if it’s not legally binding. He’s ashamed of everything, and he thinks it’ll be easier to stick it out through this mess instead of facing the fact that he’s ruined everything with his own impulsivity.
The physical punishments, the whippings and floggings and burnings, are easier to handle than the vague sense of guilt he carries with him, even when he’s supposed to go under.
But he still doesn’t like the feeling of a whip against his back. It’s hard to ignore the way Master uses the whip as they please. The marks burn with pain and shame-he can be better, be perfect for Master-and he hates it.
And maybe a small part of him resents how he’s treated like a lesser being. He’s been treated like that before his arrival in the city. He tries to forget the small boy that allowed himself to be used, but Master likes to remind him.
It’s small things, the way Master talks to him, talks down to him at times, like he’s stupid. Anakin isn’t stupid. He thinks Master is testing him, but he doesn’t like it because it feels like a test he’ll fail.
A trap.
Anakin knows that he’s easy to ignite-easy to prey on, as his former friends like to tell him-but it’s hard to ignore his instinct to defend himself. It comes from a past filled with those that chose to punish him to make themselves feel better.
And a small of him knows it’s wrong, letting Master treat him this way, but he doesn’t want out. He doesn’t.
If he repeats it enough, it’ll be true.