Important Discussion Time.

[solerika]

It has been brought to my attention that some of our players have been having issues in being dragged into things they don't wish to take part in. To keep this place fun for all, I would like to remind everyone that to involve other players in a fight or scene without their consent is godmoding, which is clearly stated to be against the community

Comments

[sacrocenere]

Before posting this, did you IM or PM the people in question? Trying to clear things up behind the scenes would have eliminated the need for this entire post.

Also, those who are pointing things out, did you attempt to contact the people whose behavior is in question? Did you PM or IM them saying "Hey, this looks kinda godmoddy, let's work on that" or "I'm sorry, but I'm uncomfortable with how this is going, so I'm not going to comment further on that thread"? You'd be amazed how people will listen and respond if you just communicate how you feel.

Has anyone attempted to communicate, or are we all bitching and assuming the poor players know and are ignoring it? If no one communicates with the players in question, then those players have no idea. They're having fun and they think everything's okay.

In fact of weaknesses, has anyone asked? I know my characters have tons of weaknesses I've revealed. If anyone has forgotten a character's weakness, I doubt it's that the player hasn't revealed it or it doesn't exist, but rather it's been

[solerika]

About communicating with each other, that's what this post is for. Some people are afraid to poke another player in private out of the blue and say "Hey, what you're doing is bugging me." or such. Not everyone really knows everybody else here, so I can't blame them for preferring a more open setting to talk about things. Directly confronting someone has a strong possibility of backfiring when there is no one to play referee. Also, that is part of my job as moderator to help keep things running smoothly. I admit to probably being too easy-going, as I really wasn't aware until just recently that there was a problem to begin with

[sacrocenere]

Direct confrontation can backfire, yes. That's not what I'm talking about, and if it does backfire, we're all mature enough to say "okay, this isn't working" and go to you next. I'm talking about poking a player that you're currently threading with and saying "Hey, let's talk." Not saying "knock it off" but saying "hey, this is bugging me, let's work it out." Josie saying she doesn't want certain types playing with the new bitty Luke... if things take a sour turn, it's possible to PM the player with an apology. "Hey, I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable with how this is going." Nine times out of ten that will stop the thread. Problem fixed. There's a possibility the person might try to work with you so the thread continues but it's within a comfort zone. Problem fixed. I used to play in a group where someone wasn't comfortable with porn. One of my characters was romantically involved with that player. The player told me and we agreed to fade to black. We communicated and stayed within the player's comfort zone. I used to have a huge

[wire_birdcage]

An apology on the part of the person who is being attacked should not be necessary. When your character is causing the problem, you should be apologizing for the issue you've caused. Why do you think I had to intervene? Because your character smeared blood on a sandwich for a seven year old. How the hell was she even supposed to respond to that?

...Besides, if rape is so triggering for you, why is it in half of your character's overly tortured pasts?

[sacrocenere]

An apology for stopping a thread. Or am I the only one who feels bad if she has to stop a thread because she's not comfortable? If she didn't want to apologize, just simply PMing or IMing me and saying "hey, I don't feel comfortable with this, I'm stopping the thread" is enough. And obviously you aren't paying attention, because you would see this character is batshit, lost in her own world, been told plenty of lies that she believed, and actually believes she was doing what he wanted. Not to mention when she isn't low on blood she would be an antagonist here because for the most part, she hates vampires and wants to kill them, but she has no reason to believe what she hears is real. Which is something I've noticed, all the characters here take the whole "not in your world" thing too easily. Being shown duplicates can, yes, show things are different. But that does not equal in a different world, especially given how Abyss has replicas.

Learn to read. "They're not as bad now, but whenever it does get triggering, I communicate." From

[wire_birdcage]

It still shouldn't be necessary if you are causing a character to be uncomfortable. I would have thought that a kid screaming and telling a person No would be enough, but if you have to be told you're causing problems despite that, maybe you ought to let people reply to your posts and stop forcing yourself onto them. And it's a dressing room. Having people sitting around freaking the hell out about "oh god I'm not in my world anymore noes what do I do?! D:" all the time would be boring. We're looking to have fun, not constant drama.

Welcome to the Real World, sweetheart. Situations you aren't comfortable with are gonna show up a lot. That's why posts like these are made in places where everyone is meant to have fun-- because if it's not brought up on a larger scale than personal messages, the issue could happen again and again and again.

[sacrocenere]

Except that I had no idea if Josie wanted me to stop, or if she was okay with it? Seriously, how many times have we set up situations where we wanted a certain level of trauma to happen and then set it up that someone comes in and rescues them? It happens. I had no idea the thread would go that way, so it wasn't like I went in there expecting to torment a kid. She made the sandwich first, remember? If Josie had PMed or IMed me then that she didn't like how she spread blood on it, do you think we'd be having this conversation?

And again, learn to read. I never said "have people constantly freak about not being in their world." Let me repost again.

but she has no reason to believe what she hears is real. Which is something I've noticed, all the characters here take the whole "not in your world" thing too easily. Being shown duplicates can, yes, show things are different. But that does not equal in a different world, especially given how Abyss has replicas.Why should every character that comes here instantly believe it's real? Why can'

[solerika]

Well, it was stated before with the little Luke that he's delicate and for those who might scare him to keep their distance. But I agree that should another problem arise, players would do well to consider PMing the person they're threading with.

I'm sure we all can learn that it's okay to talk to one another. Now that everything is hopefully a bit more clearer, we can all get back to having fun and just enjoying ourselves.

[sacrocenere]

I hadn't considered it would go that way, and I forgot about that when it did. If I had been told this wasn't Josie wanting to do a little torture to a character (which she's done before) but rather something she didn't want to do, I would have stopped or changed my comment.

I hope we do talk now. Things suck when we don't.

[wire_birdcage]

No IMs or PMs were sent because it has been a community-wide issue. The god-modding rule was being violated, so both moderators (being solerika and artes) talked it over and the post was made. There may have been specific issues at hand, specific characters in mind, but it is their community, so I believe that if they deem a "by the way, follow the rules" post necessary you have no right to dispute that. The post also very specifically said "leave your opinions here!" which is why opinions were left. The communication is being made here, in an easy reminder for all players to follow the rules. It's not just you-- the initial problem was actually the Nebilim characters

[sacrocenere]

An OOC community will not help things. We need to learn to put our big girl panties on and directly communicate with the people (hey, look there, in this comment and the previous I never said I was being singled out. I used myself as an example. For the most part, I used a plural, as I realize I'm part of the problem but only part) involved. If Josie had PMed or IMed me and said "Hey, sorry, I can't continue this thread," I would have understood. If I hadn't, that's grounds to go to a moderator. Every little thing doesn't have to go to a mod. Only when you can't work things out between the two of you is when you need to go further up. Would you go to the district manager if someone was being a little spacey headed? It's far more effective to go up to the person and ask if something is wrong, and if that doesn't change things, go to the supervisor. This is similar. We're doing posts like these instead of practicing what we preach. We're not communicating. Instead, we're putting out posts like these and saying we need to communicate

[wire_birdcage]

Josie is a moderator, Sol agreed something needed to be done. I think that when both moderators agree to take action, neither you nor myself have a place in saying "No, wait, we should give everyone special treatment and sugar-coat the fact that they've caused problems and give them therapy on how to fix it!".

The post serves to inform people that if you are going to do something that can seriously affect another character without their consent, also known as god-modding, they need to inform the player they are playing with first. The issue with communication is there, so this post is bringing it to the attention of everyone as a whole. That way no one feels attacked. It's the most civil way to handle things.

You also have a character that completely ignores everything but her own problems. You've also got a character that rapes. Wasn't that triggering for you? What's the point in acting out something that is so horrible to you? Keep in mind I didn't bring up the weaknesses bit. It's always been something that kind of makes me go "

[sacrocenere]

Yeah, Josie's a mod. Which goes double for her to communicate first. It's not like I've turned PMs off. Hell, she could have stopped responding and pretended the thread never happened. People do that.

Yeah, I do. Which can make her an antagonist considering when she gets stronger she'll want to kill people because she's fucking batshit. I have a character that I mentioned him attacking Wingy to Kris and she gave me the go ahead. He got hurt, which made me happy. He was poisoned and Wingy hurt him, so he had to go get some real blood to actually heal. You'd be amazed how therapeutic watching a rapist get his can be. And considering the situation wasn't her afraid to say no but rather was her fighting back, it was rather nice.

[wire_birdcage]

Since you're so insistent on bashing Josie as well, I think I'll wait until she's here to defend herself before I waste my time arguing with a child.

[sacrocenere]

Saying Josie should have communicated with me = bashing. I love your leaps of logic.

[mistermukka]

This isn't about logic.