Important Discussion Time.

[solerika]

It has been brought to my attention that some of our players have been having issues in being dragged into things they don't wish to take part in. To keep this place fun for all, I would like to remind everyone that to involve other players in a fight or scene without their consent is godmoding, which is clearly stated to be against the community

Comments

[sacrocenere]

Direct confrontation can backfire, yes. That's not what I'm talking about, and if it does backfire, we're all mature enough to say "okay, this isn't working" and go to you next. I'm talking about poking a player that you're currently threading with and saying "Hey, let's talk." Not saying "knock it off" but saying "hey, this is bugging me, let's work it out." Josie saying she doesn't want certain types playing with the new bitty Luke... if things take a sour turn, it's possible to PM the player with an apology. "Hey, I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable with how this is going." Nine times out of ten that will stop the thread. Problem fixed. There's a possibility the person might try to work with you so the thread continues but it's within a comfort zone. Problem fixed. I used to play in a group where someone wasn't comfortable with porn. One of my characters was romantically involved with that player. The player told me and we agreed to fade to black. We communicated and stayed within the player's comfort zone. I used to have a huge problem with rape scenes because during the time they were incredibly triggering for me. I told people and we compromised. They're not as bad now, but whenever it does get triggering, I communicate. But I didn't go to the mod about it, and neither did the other person. We took care of it ourselves.

[wire_birdcage]

An apology on the part of the person who is being attacked should not be necessary. When your character is causing the problem, you should be apologizing for the issue you've caused. Why do you think I had to intervene? Because your character smeared blood on a sandwich for a seven year old. How the hell was she even supposed to respond to that?

...Besides, if rape is so triggering for you, why is it in half of your character's overly tortured pasts?

[sacrocenere]

An apology for stopping a thread. Or am I the only one who feels bad if she has to stop a thread because she's not comfortable? If she didn't want to apologize, just simply PMing or IMing me and saying "hey, I don't feel comfortable with this, I'm stopping the thread" is enough. And obviously you aren't paying attention, because you would see this character is batshit, lost in her own world, been told plenty of lies that she believed, and actually believes she was doing what he wanted. Not to mention when she isn't low on blood she would be an antagonist here because for the most part, she hates vampires and wants to kill them, but she has no reason to believe what she hears is real. Which is something I've noticed, all the characters here take the whole "not in your world" thing too easily. Being shown duplicates can, yes, show things are different. But that does not equal in a different world, especially given how Abyss has replicas.

Learn to read. "They're not as bad now, but whenever it does get triggering, I communicate." From the previous post. Maybe it's unhealthy, but I've put a lid on that panic. Or do you not remember me in the Borders parking lot, freaking because I was afraid that Javier may be raping me because I was afraid of saying no? That's a situation I'm not comfortable with. And you know what, unless the character is actively dealing with that situation, it's just a summary. It's not actively being played out in front of my eyes.

[wire_birdcage]

It still shouldn't be necessary if you are causing a character to be uncomfortable. I would have thought that a kid screaming and telling a person No would be enough, but if you have to be told you're causing problems despite that, maybe you ought to let people reply to your posts and stop forcing yourself onto them. And it's a dressing room. Having people sitting around freaking the hell out about "oh god I'm not in my world anymore noes what do I do?! D:" all the time would be boring. We're looking to have fun, not constant drama.

Welcome to the Real World, sweetheart. Situations you aren't comfortable with are gonna show up a lot. That's why posts like these are made in places where everyone is meant to have fun-- because if it's not brought up on a larger scale than personal messages, the issue could happen again and again and again.

[sacrocenere]

Except that I had no idea if Josie wanted me to stop, or if she was okay with it? Seriously, how many times have we set up situations where we wanted a certain level of trauma to happen and then set it up that someone comes in and rescues them? It happens. I had no idea the thread would go that way, so it wasn't like I went in there expecting to torment a kid. She made the sandwich first, remember? If Josie had PMed or IMed me then that she didn't like how she spread blood on it, do you think we'd be having this conversation?

And again, learn to read. I never said "have people constantly freak about not being in their world." Let me repost again.

but she has no reason to believe what she hears is real. Which is something I've noticed, all the characters here take the whole "not in your world" thing too easily. Being shown duplicates can, yes, show things are different. But that does not equal in a different world, especially given how Abyss has replicas.

Why should every character that comes here instantly believe it's real? Why can't people believe it's an elaborate hoax, or that it's all a lie? Too many people just accept it's a different world too easily. They don't do research into if it's true. They don't hold onto a belief that everyone's replicas. It's like another RP I was in. Everyone instantly trusted this one character because he said he was safe, and since people knew the canon, the characters believed it. My character was suspicious, because while I had read the canon, my character hadn't. We let the characters believe because we know it's true. We don't have enough people that hold onto the belief that it's a lie, or even that it's dream.

[solerika]

Well, it was stated before with the little Luke that he's delicate and for those who might scare him to keep their distance. But I agree that should another problem arise, players would do well to consider PMing the person they're threading with.

I'm sure we all can learn that it's okay to talk to one another. Now that everything is hopefully a bit more clearer, we can all get back to having fun and just enjoying ourselves.

[sacrocenere]

I hadn't considered it would go that way, and I forgot about that when it did. If I had been told this wasn't Josie wanting to do a little torture to a character (which she's done before) but rather something she didn't want to do, I would have stopped or changed my comment.

I hope we do talk now. Things suck when we don't.